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Gemstone Cuts

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 14:20:22 GMT

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How to Re-Integrate Socially after COVID-19

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:54:04 GMT

How to Re-Integrate Socially after COVID-19

By: Ashley Carter Youngblood LMSW, LMFT, CMHIMP

By Ashley Carter Youngblood LMSW, LMFT, CMH

Where to Start

This past year has been beyond difficult for us all. We have laughed, cried, felt like we are living in a Hollywood movie, and worked to adjust to constant uncertainty and changing expectations. Even with various restrictions being removed related to social distancing and isolation mandates, many of us may still not know how we feel about social interactions, masking up, or what feels “safe.”

While restrictions and recommendations can help guide behavior, when they are removed or changed, it is not as if we can emotionally simply leave the past in the past and be magically fine with a new set of expectations and standards. Therefore, as our society continues to shift and define a new normal, keep in mind that there will be stages to take as one re-integrates back into life.

Listen to Yourself

Lesson one in self-care is always “listen to what you need.” The challenge with COVID-19 as a social experience is that much of the time; people do not know how they feel about it all. It is hard to find the line between respectful caution and pure unhelpful fear. Constant messages of panic and warning from news sources also do not help us to regulate our extreme emotions on the topic. Therefore, the first step to re-integration is: before attending an event, getting a vaccine, or making travel plans listen to what feels right to you or what feels like too much.

Allow for Shifts

As is reflective of the constant shifting during the pandemic, how we feel and what feels safe and important will likely shift. This is okay, too. Allow yourself to feel good about something one day and hesitant on the next. You are a different person with a different set of needs each day. All you can do to honor yourself during this crazy time is to listen to your needs, even (and perhaps especially!) when they shift.

Give Yourself Time

Life will probably not feel completely “normal” for a while. So, as you listen and allow for changes in your needs, emotions, and expectations, remember to be patient with yourself. It will take time to unwind the complexities of COVID-19 as an illness, just like it will take you time to sort out over time how exactly you feel about it all and what feels appropriate in response.

Create Dialogue

One of the most challenging parts of the COVID-19 experience for people is that it has been polarizing, whether politically, related to vaccination expectations, or even what is believed to constitute “appropriate” and “respectful” behavior. So, how you feel and respond to changes in restrictions and standards related to COVID-19 are likely not going to be the same as your co-workers, father, or friends. Therefore, if there is something that makes you uncomfortable (e.g. returning to working in-person at your office, colleagues being unmasked), create dialogue! In a respectful, calm, and collaborative way, share with those you trust what is difficult for you about a certain situation and see if there is a compromise that can be made to adjust as best as possible to the changing needs, emotions, and expectations of this time.

Get Support

Even if people differ from you in how you feel about this re-integration, remember that you matter. If you are struggling with the anxiety that has, frankly, become commonplace during this pandemic, get the support you need. Find like-minded friends who can support you socially in the way that feels right to you. Perhaps consider being honest with yourself and talking with your doctor or finding a therapist if the stress of it all has become so much that professional help would be beneficial. Above all, know that you are not alone in having difficulty adjusting and re-integrating! We have all been in this together and we can all do this together!

Summer Food: Fun & Ice Cream at Apple Knockers

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:58:46 GMT

Summer Food: Fun & Ice Cream at

Apple Knockers

Busyness is Hijacking Our Wellness

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:54:55 GMT

Busyness is Hijacking Our Wellness

By: Demarra West

I just got back from an extended four-day weekend at Civana Wellness Resort & Spa in Carefree, Arizona, which affirmed the importance of stillness in a myriad of ways. In addition to clean food, a world-class spa, and decadent sunsets, Civana offers more than seventy classes a week, such as Feng Shui, Primal Flow Yoga, Sound Healing, Journaling for Manifestation, and hikes in the Sonoran Desert, which provided such a well-rounded wellness experience that I will surely visit again.

Outside of the beautiful pure healing only a desert hike can provide, the most impactful class I took was called human BEING. The course was all about getting us to think of busyness as a disease and the antithesis to creating space for ourselves to enjoy this one precious life we’ve been given, as in the words of Mary Oliver. Not to mention interfere with our healing, interrupt our ability to know ourselves more deeply, block creativity and abundance, and limit our joy.

I write this as an om to me and the newfound permission I’m giving myself to break free from twenty-four years of working myself to the bone. I used to pride myself on all I was doing. I thrived on it. I longed for it. Quite frankly, at times being in awe that I was able to take on all I did.

Busyness is so intricately connected to my identity that “Achiever” is in my top five StrengthsFinder. My mantra in life was to work hard, play hard, which I have truly done, having some intensely pleasurable moments along the way. However, no matter how much I spent time investing in my wellness, I consistently found myself fatigued and deeply anxious about the many tasks to which I had committed. And miraculously, nothing major had slipped through the cracks…until recently.

I had two major things that I had invested a great deal in fail for the sole reason of being overbooked. What I know for sure is that it was the universe’s way of getting my attention. It was time for me to slow down once and for all and truly tap into an expansive mindset and identity that wasn’t defined by all my external achievements.

Being addicted to busyness has brought me many gifts, including traveling the world, having abundance in my business, and partnering with amazing women. It has also, however, cost me a great deal. Most importantly, time was lost with the people I love; memories slipped through the cracks because of distractions; and joy I missed out on, I’ll never be able to redeem.

I have forgiven myself for all that I lost because the alternative is suffering. I vow, however, to interrupt these destructive patterns because I plan to enjoy as much of the rest of this life I’ve been given, and if you can relate to any of this, I invite you to join me.

What better way to start the month of July than by committing or recommitting

to stop being so busy?

Take the 31 days July offers us to dedicate each day to slowing down. There are countless ways you can give yourself the gift of presence.

Here are a few ideas:

Spend the day at the beach

Ground yourself barefoot in

the grass

Walk-in nature

Be grateful

Take your time to respond to emails

For the mothers out there: as you are working your 31-Day Wellness Month plan, keep your children in mind because chances are if you’ve been too busy, they probably are too.

I guarantee if you invest in this time, you’ll thank yourself for it.

USTA is Back in Kalamazoo

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:50:13 GMT

USTA is Back in Kalamazoo!

78 ^th USTA Boys' National Tennis Tournament · August 5-16

Each summer the excitement of the USTA Boys’ 18 & 16 National Championships overtakes Kalamazoo, Michigan. This tournament is the single most important event of the tennis year for the nearly 500 outstanding juniors who arrive from all parts of the United States. Ten days of intense, tough, inspired tennis earn for each of the ultimate winners in singles and doubles the cherished title of United States National Champion. And as a testament to the incredible tennis played in Kalamazoo, the 18’s Champions in Singles and Doubles winners receive an automatic bid to the main draw of the U.S. Open.

Kalamazoo became the home of the Boys’ Nationals 78 years ago when the USTA was forced to relocate the tournament from Culver Military Academy in Culver, Indiana due to WWII. For the first three years in Kalamazoo, the tournament was played on five grass courts next to the railroad tracks where Anderson Athletic Center is now located with 90 player entries. In 1946, Kalamazoo College constructed a new stadium and named it for Dr. Allen B. Stowe, a legendary Kalamazoo College coach, who played a large role in influencing the USTA to move the tournament to Kalamazoo. From the nine original red clay courts to the 11 current hard courts, Stowe Stadium has undergone a number of necessary upgrades over the past 75 years. Incredible American tennis players have played, fought, won, and lost on the courts of Stowe Stadium, including Rod Laver, Arthur Ashe, Pete Sampras, Jimmy Connors, Patrick and John McEnroe, Andre Agassi, Jim Courier, Michael Chang, Bob and Mike Bryan, James Blake, Andy Roddick, and Jack Sock.

The Boys’ Nationals plays a large role in the impact sports events have on the Kalamazoo community. The tournament has a 1-million-dollar annual economic impact to the community and downtown restaurants experience significant uptick in local and visiting patrons during the tournament. Approximately 2,000 total room nights are sold during the event each year.

Community support is a crucial part for the Nationals to ensure the success and sustainability of the tournament in Kalamazoo. One of the founding community sponsors, WKZO, broadcasted the tournament finals for the first time in 1953 and continues to provide radio journalism for the tournament to this day. The Boys’ Nationals relies on the community for financial support and physical support through the efforts of our volunteers. The tournament is always seeking new companies and organizations to partner with as sponsors or advertisers. Volunteer positions are always available and those interested in volunteering for the tournament this year or in the future are encouraged to visit ustaboys.com and click on “Volunteers.”

Boys’ Nationals tournament staff, sponsors and volunteers are delighted to be back for the 78th Nats at the Zoo, August 5-16! While the event will not be open to the public (based on COVID-19 protocols at time of publication), spectators are encouraged to live stream the action at the USTA Boys Facebook page.

Catch the action, live-streaming August 5-16 at fb.com/ustaboys

Single on Purpose

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:47:04 GMT

Single on Purpose

By: Kim Carson

Kim: You say that all of us need to be single at some point in our life. Why is that?

John: Because I think we live in a world where we’re obsessed with just finding love as fast as we can. And if we’re single, we don’t like to sit with ourselves; we think there’s something wrong with that. And so I want to empower singlehood, give it a cape. I think it’s been vilified for so long.

John, I’ve been single for a while, and I think it’s difficult for some people to understand that conscious pause.

Single on purpose doesn’t mean single forever. It doesn’t mean that you’re not looking and you’re not open. It means you’re building a better relationship with yourself. And if you find someone who deserves you and who you want to invest in, that’s great.

Right. Exactly! But so many people jump from relationship to relationship with not much of a cooling-off period.

Yeah, and I think that’s a way of hiding, a way of running away. For me, it started with a divorce, a marriage that fell apart, a lot because of my lack of tools and being a child. And so, I spent about four years shaking up my whole life. Meaning I started a new career as a therapist, and I wanted to connect to me, get to know who I was. So I bought a motorcycle and started riding it in LA; I started working out, finding myself through fitness and that community. I tell people I found myself through a motorcycle, barbells, and donuts. And I don’t mean to eat your feelings. I mean, give yourself what you need and treat yourself. It’s okay.

I think being alone, at least for me, allows time to figure out what it is that I want and how that would fit into my life.

Yeah, absolutely. You do have to investigate where things come from, and I think many people in relationships are reactive; they don’t look inward. And if you’re not doing that, you’re not growing and evolving. You’re just repeating the past, you know?

So how would someone begin to build a healthy relationship?

You’ve got to begin with the truth. Begin with being really honest with yourself. If you’re not honest with yourself, there’s nowhere to go from there. It’s very slippery. Know where you’re at in your life. What do you want? Some people go on a self-betterment journey—everything from getting involved in your community, to therapy, to the stuff that’s happening online. Just getting out of your house, out of your head, and connecting back to who you were or, if you never knew, then who you are.

With diversity being so much a focus in our society, it sort of lays on a whole other layer of understanding of what relationships and intimacies are, right?

Yeah, and with the new generation, monogamy is kind of on trial. There are so many people getting involved in different types of relationships—open relationships and poly (polyamory) and all of this. So when you’re single, I think it’s time for that exploration because when you do get into whatever relationship you want to get into, now there are conditions, and there are agreements. And you don’t have the freedom that you had when you were single. So I always say that when you’re single, that’s the richest soil for growth. It’s when you’re no longer obligated to anyone except yourself, which is freeing, empowering, not de-powering.

On your website, you have lots of different tools for visitors to talk about attract vs. the chase.

I spent most of my twenties chasing, growing up in LA, just chasing shiny things. I didn’t allow myself to be happy until I got those things. And because those things never came. I was angry and miserable, you know? And so when you have a better relationship with yourself, you start attracting. If you have a poor relationship with yourself, it’s a lot of desperation and chasing. So when it comes to singlehood, I think a lot of people are chasing instead of attracting. And when you chase, you’re less attractive.

(giggling) That is so true; when you chase someone, you’re definitely less attractive to them.

I also think we’ve turned into baseball cards. I think that because of the filters and false advertising, and hiding behind our phones, we’re not showing up in an honest way. And so we’re setting ourselves up for very short runs, nothing that’s sustainable because there’s a lot of hiding behind the veneer.

I remember when I was dating, you had to actually go up to someone to ask for their phone number, and you had to talk to them on the phone. And you had to think of creative things to do. Today it’s like people are swiping while their date is in the restaurant.

So why do we get into unhealthy relationships, sometimes repeatedly?

A lot of our choices we make aren’t really choices; they’re 90% subconscious. They’re based on familiar things. Most of us didn't enter adulthood un-scarred. Meaning there’s trauma. There’s chaos. There’s all of that. And so the partners that we pick a lot of times we are attracted to the messy or the dysfunctional, and we’re not even aware of that until we no longer want that anymore. And then we take a deep dive, and we actually look at it. So a lot of it is default. A lot of it is just if you don’t make conscious choices, you’re going to default to unhealthy. You know?

Some self-help books say to be loved by someone, you must first love yourself. Thoughts?

I wouldn’t even say love yourself. I’m going to say you have to like yourself because it’s harder to like yourself than to love yourself. I think loving yourself is a choice. And I think liking yourself has to be earned. And to like yourself, you need to go on some kind of journey. It doesn’t have to be a motorcycle, barbells, and donuts. Whatever your journey is, you have to go on it to get to know who you are to like yourself. Because when you do like yourself, you feel that you have more value, more substance.

Find & Follow Your Passion

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:42:24 GMT

Find & Follow Your Passion

By: Maria Sorrentino

“There is no passion to be found playing small — in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

Nelson Mandela

What do you think of when you hear the word passion?

I asked this question on social media recently and got a variety of answers. A friend of mine said, “Passion can only be defined by the one who feels it.”

I agree completely.

For me, passion is a driving force that allows me to live out my purpose. I believe we were all put here to become the best version of ourselves and to love others. So how do we do this well? I think it depends on your values and your priorities. The cool thing about life is we all get to make these choices for ourselves.

I found an awesome definition for passion recently: A willingness to suffer for what you love. Profound.

I bet if I asked 100 people what they were willing to suffer for, I’d get 100 different answers. This simple question tells me so much about a person and their priorities.

This is where self-reflection comes in. Our priorities change as the seasons of our lives change. We are always in flux. New relationships, career changes, family situations all play a role in who we become as people.

The people who have impacted me the most are the ones who live to realize their passions. The ones who go out of their way to improve the lives of the people around them. The ones who give with no explanations in return. Passion is contagious. People who make a difference in their own lives and the world do so by following their passion.

Take time this summer to find and follow your passion. See where it takes you!

12 Tips for When Fido Hates Fireworks

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:38:59 GMT

12 Tips for When Fido Hates Fireworks

Do you love fireworks but find that your furry friend hates them? Does he run and hide, cowering until they’re over?

This is not uncommon. In fact, while fireworks are usually an exciting experience for people, but the loud, almost incessant noise involved can be terrifying for our canine companions. The stress and anxiety they produce are upsetting for dog and owner alike. Here are some things to keep in mind as fireworks season rolls around.

1. Your dog’s reaction is completely normal. As humans, we understand what the Fourth of July means and are prepared for the noises that accompany its patriotic displays. However, man’s best friend is likely to be startled and terrified by the sudden din that seems to come out of nowhere.

2. No one really likes to be startled and, for a dog, that’s exactly what fireworks mean. Their hearts start pounding, they experience a spike of adrenaline and stress hormones. Because they don’t know where the noises are coming from and what they mean, this effect can last the entire time.

3. Fido’s heightened senses often make fireworks overwhelming. A keen sense of hearing means the sounds of fireworks are that much more intense. In addition to the sounds, your dog’s amplified sense of smell makes them acutely aware of the odors produced by fireworks.

4. Fireworks and thunderstorms are not the same thing to dogs. Dogs are often able to sense impending thunderstorms, helping them to be less startled. The sudden and infrequent nature of fireworks can make them more upsetting.

5. Many dogs aren’t afraid of fireworks. Some dogs are more laid-back and others have experienced fireworks often enough that the experience isn’t so stressful for them. They seem to realize that there is no real threat of harm and are not bothered by the experience.

6. Starting early can help your dog to do better with fireworks. Prior to the Fourth of July (or any gathering where there will be fireworks), try playing recordings of fireworks, slowly increasing the volume each time. It may take months to help your dog become acclimated to the loud sounds, so be sure to start the process early.

7. The younger the dog, the better your chances of decreasing their sensitivity. Exposing your puppy to noises like fireworks and thunder in their early months of life greatly increases the likelihood that these sounds will not upset him later in life.

8. Distract your dog during fireworks. Give your dog a special treat or her favorite toy. It might help to create positive associations with fireworks.

9. Create a safe space in your home where your dog can feel secure. Many dogs view their crate as a den and feel safest in that area. If your dog isn’t crate trained, her bed can provide the same sense of comfort. Try closing the windows, shutting blinds or curtains, and playing the TV or some music.

10. Look into calming wraps or Thundershirts. Found at local pet supply stores, these garments are similar to swaddling infants. They can help your dog to feel more secure during anxiety-inducing events.

11. Set the example and stay calm. As pack leader, your dog looks to you for comfort and reassurance during times of stress. Remaining calm will help ease your pet’s anxiety.

12. Seek medical advice. Some dogs have such an extreme reaction to fireworks that veterinary intervention is required. Your veterinarian will assess the situation and may prescribe medication to help calm your pet’s firework anxiety.

Chill Out with These Easy Summer Recipes

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:30:12 GMT

Father's Day Favorites

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 17:34:28 GMT

Mosquitos, Fleas, and Ticks

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 17:32:03 GMT

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Top Patios to Enjoy Summer Around Southwest Michigan

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Style Tips

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Why Intuitive Eating Is Not Enough

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The Pearl

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Stop the Sting

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 17:00:35 GMT

Stop the Sting: Preventing Wasps

By: Amber Byars

When summer comes around, we are all ready to hit the beach, be outdoors, BBQ, and soak up the sun. However, there is one thing that we don’t look forward to, and that is stinging insects. Each variety of stinging insects serve a purpose, but I will mainly focus on a fierce defender, wasps.

If you’ve ever been stung by a wasp, you can attest to the fact that the sting packs a punch and can have long-lasting effects. If you are like me in the summer of 2019, then you may have discovered you are allergic to wasp stings.

I was out on a stinging insect call evaluating the situation. There was an underground nest located in a customer’s landscaping that was very active. Usually, you have to be some threat to their nest for a wasp to attack. This was not the case for me—probably because I was giving off a pest control vibe. I was standing about 50 feet away from the nest, chatting with the customer when I got stung three times out of nowhere; in my eye, on my hand, and on my elbow, all from the same wasp. Not only did the stings cause me severe pain, but I ended up in urgent care with hives all over my body. My right hand was double the size of my left hand.

A Little about Wasps

A unique characteristic of wasps is that they can sting multiple times. They don’t have any barbs on their stinger, so they can go in and out without getting stuck on your skin. They can have two different types of nests: hanging nests or cavity nests. The nests can be located just about anywhere, from trees, to under eaves, or even on low ground cover.

Wasps make a new nest each year and only use it for the season. Once the season is over, the queen will find a suitable location to overwinter, so people will notice wasps in their homes in the fall and winter. When spring comes around, she will find a new place to build the nest. This is why the spring and early summer make the best times to get the preventative treatment done. This makes sure your house is not an ideal place for the queen to start building her nest. Even if she has already begun building a nest, a treatment will prevent a mature nest from growing.

Preventative Treatment

The worst place for a nest to be is on the inside of your wall, especially when we live just on the other side. This happens when there is a point of entry from the outside, allowing the wasps to penetrate their way into a wall void, usually between two studs. That gives them a good 15-inch wide cavity in the wall to build and grow their hive. They are always looking to increase their space, so over time, they will start scratching and chewing their way through the drywall. You would be surprised at how many service calls we get to treat this type of situation.

There is still hope if you miss the window for preventative treatment and you’re already noticing a mature hive. I received a call this past summer where a customer had dozens of wasps flying around their living room. Come to find out, the wasps had entered his structure from a light fixture on the exterior of the house. The nest was expanding so much that they weakened the inside of the wall by chewing and scratching the drywall.

The customer assumed there was a water leak somewhere because the wall was becoming warped. He went to feel for moisture, but his finger went straight through the wall, and wasps came pouring out. We blocked the hole in the wall with duct tape for minimal exposure and safety reasons, and I treated the exterior entry point. The product I used has a transfer effect component to it, meaning one wasp could potentially kill the entire hive if it comes into contact with the treated area. This specific treatment only required one follow up and the wasps were eliminated.

To avoid the painful sting, damage to your property, or allergic reactions, I highly recommend getting ahead of the game with a preventative treatment in early summer. Another good option to keep the wasps away is to be on a seasonal service. These services are consistent through the summer months, taking you into late fall, assuring total protection all summer long.

Cheers to Eating the Rainbow

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:47:14 GMT

Cheers to Eating the Rainbow

By: Demarra D. West, MA, LPC, PCC, RYS

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Friendshipping

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:39:13 GMT

Friendshipping

By: Kim Carson

Recently I interviewed Jenn Bane, author of the book Friendshipping: The Art of Finding Friends, Being Friends, and Keeping Friends. In 2021 we can connect with people worldwide more easily and more quickly than ever before, but are they really friends? How do we find a friend, and what qualities should we be looking for?

Friendshipping expert Jenn Bane doesn’t believe that there is one single definition of a good friend. One thing Jenn learned about friendship is that it comes down to joyfully sharing your life with someone else. Friendship is joy; it’s comfort, sustenance, protection, and mutual sharing.

Friends can open your world to ideas and concepts. What’s unique about adult friendships and maybe what’s difficult about them too is that you’ll shed friendships throughout your life. You can reconnect with people you haven’t seen in many years, or maybe you drop some friends, and you move on; it’s whatever works for both people.

Advice for Friendshipping

Jenn’s advice for people looking to deepen their current friendships or become a better friend is to communicate. It sounds cheesy, but it really is vital. For example, if you wish your friend would text you back more quickly, or maybe you’d like to see your friend on a video call more often, you do need to say it. Your friends, even your close friends, cannot read your mind. You need to say what you need, and you can say it in a very kind way.

We’ve all had a friend at some time in our life say, “I want to talk to you about something but just don’t know where or how to start.” For my closest friends, I always say, “Aren’t we past this point in our relationship? Just say it. I know your heart. I know the spirit in which you’re delivering the message comes from a place of kindness, not criticism.” Jenn says if a message is delivered in kindness, but they want, need, or concern is received negatively, you may want to re-evaluate that friendship. The word to remember is kindness. Your true friends don’t want to hurt you, they want to make your life easier, and they want to help carry your baggage. They definitely don’t want to make your life harder.

Jenn and her best friend, Trinn Garritano, host the Friendshipping podcast. You may catch them settling a friendly dispute, giving advice on a new friend who has suddenly become a cling-on, or listening to heartwarming stories about what makes decades-long friendships last. The podcast focuses on making friends as an adult, and this can be difficult. Yet she sees it as a skill: something you can get better at, something you can work on. You can get better at small talk. You can get better at being kinder to yourself. You can get better at going to new places.

Who Are your Real Friends?

Your social media page is probably full of friends, fans, and followers, but are they really that? Jenn reflected on how she has very few friends:

“My inner circle is a very close-knit group of my nearest and dearest friends. And while I love all the friends outside that circle, they don’t get as much of my time and attention, and that’s a big part of adulthood. So invest in the friendships that are working rather than the ones on the periphery. It’s okay to be selective about who you spend your free time with.”

I shared with Jenn some of my closest friends are phone friends because we no longer live in the same city. But do phone friends, people you haven’t seen in the flesh for years, count as real friends? Jenn jumped at this one saying, “I think if it feels like a real friendship to everyone involved, then it is a real friendship. There’s no such thing as one single definition of a friend. I have friends I haven’t seen in years, but we still text jokes to each other and stay connected. That’s a real friendship.”

And what about the friends who want to float in and out of your life? How do you know if the friendship is healthy or toxic? Jenn’s advice: “Listen to your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right to return to an old friendship, don’t do it.”

Work Friends

Lastly, we spend so many hours at work and workplaces have rules against it but, what’s your opinion on work friendships? “Well Kim, you know I met the co-author of my Friendshipping book through work, so I know for a fact that you can make close friends with co-workers, and they can feel like family. However, this is extremely rare, and it’s never happened again. For many reasons, we do advocate a cautious approach to making friends in the workplace. Boundaries and respecting someone’s boundaries is essential and having boundaries is not unkind.”

I still believe in a post-COVID world, and when it does arrive, where do we start making friends again? “The best place to start is by putting yourself in the right room, and the right room might be a book club at the library; it might be volunteering at your local food bank or shelter. Put yourself where the people are and just be curious.”

Check out Jenn’s podcast Friendshipping with Jenn & Trin, available through Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or your podcast app of choice.

Almond Texas Sheet Cake

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:34:12 GMT

A Diamond is a Diamond...or is it?

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:33:12 GMT

A Diamond is a Diamond...or is it?

By: Doug Mitchell

According to the Gemological Institute of America, the world’s love of diamonds originated in India as early as the fourth century BC. But what about diamonds makes them so special?

Diamonds are considered the most durable gemstone on the market. On the Mohs hardness scale—ranging from 1(softest) to 10 (hardest)—diamonds are a 10; they are the hardest natural substance on Earth. While many of the diamonds you usually see are clear in color, they can actually come naturally in any color of the rainbow.

Their value comes from the fact that only 30% of the world’s mined diamonds are actually gem quality. All of the world’s diamonds were formed billions of years ago with tremendous amounts of pressure at temperatures ranging around 1652–2372°F at depths between 90–120 miles beneath Earth’s surface. On average, 1 million units of mined rock yields just one part diamond. So for every one million pounds of the diamond-bearing host rock (that’s a whopping 500,000 tons), miners expect to find just one. The expense of mining those diamonds significantly impacts their price and our environment. This is why the world has turned to more sustainable, durable gemstones in lieu of diamonds.

Lab-created diamonds

One alternative to a natural diamond is a lab-created diamond. Lab-created diamonds came to the market in the 1950s. Originally they were produced for industrial purposes, such as lenses and telecommunications. By the 1980s, however, producers were able to create gem-quality diamonds that could be faceted.

The first gem-quality lab-created diamonds were mostly yellow, but over time the quality improved. While the price of these lab-grown diamonds is tremendously less, the quality and durability are that of natural diamonds. This is because chemically and atomically, natural and lab-grown diamonds are identical. You cannot tell the difference at eye level; only with special equipment can you tell the difference between a natural and a lab-created diamond. They are every bit a diamond at the molecular level and produce the very same durability, fire, and sparkle found in all diamonds.

Moissanite

Another alternative is moissanite. Moissanite was first discovered in 1893 by a French scientist named Henri Moissan, who later won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry. He found microscopic particles in Arizona in a crater created by a meteorite that fell to Earth. He initially thought that he had discovered diamonds but later determined that the crystals were composed of silicon carbide. The moissanite available today is laboratory-created. After many years of trial and error, the particles Moissan discovered were successfully synthesized to produce what is now one of the world’s most scintillating gemstones.

Moissanite is engineered to give the illusion of similarity to diamonds but is compositionally and visually quite different from a real diamond. Moissanites exhibit a heightened brilliance compared to diamonds, as their faceting pattern is different. Moissanites are typically colorless. For the same size from the top view, moissanites are dramatically lower in pricing than diamonds of that size.

Let Diamond Doug & his assistant, Amber, show you side-by-side the differences at

UniQ Jewelry Gallery

3940 W Centre Ave, Portage

uniqjewelry.com

Well Packed

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:29:51 GMT

Well Packed

By: Kelly Duggan

Spring is in the air, and travels have begun. With COVID-19 vaccination in full swing, a sense of relief is loosening the strings of heightened travel concerns. In recent days my Facebook feed has significantly increased with posts from adventurous spring break destinations and family talk of work-related travel soon filling their calendar.

As we continue our journey through spring and summer, the odds are high that there will be the potential for travel. Whether traveling for work or pleasure, the style-conscious traveler doesn’t want to waste time packing or missing an important ‘must have’ garment or accessory. Use these tips to pack your wardrobe efficiently while coordinating fabulous ensembles for your next travel destination.

Create a Wardrobe Plan

Make a master list of everything you may need for your trip, remembering that “less is more.” Refer to this wardrobe plan often as you pack, only taking with you what you will need and leaving room for any travel purchases. Take time to consider what you will be doing and where & with whom you will be with when listing your selections.

Packing Space

Pack in a dedicated space that allows you to easily lay/hang garments and accessories out with the ability to see all that is being considered for packing. A packing table near hanging space in a closet is ideal, or a bed with a garment rack is an easy substitute. Lay/hang your selected pieces out in a manner that you can see all that is being considered, along with your wardrobe plan, for your final selected pieces.

Making Your Selections

Build your wardrobe around one versatile neutral (navy, grey, black, or stone) and one other color from your palette. You can mix and match everything else around these colors. To save space, opt for two pairs of shoes (potentially a third pair if you need, a dressy evening sandal) that meet the needs of your planned wardrobe, both coordinating with your color scheme.

Key ingredients for a travel wardrobe

Dark pants/denim or skirt. Although it may be tempting, skip your sweats or jeans if traveling to Europe.

A twin sweater set. Great for layering and can be worn several ways. The short-sleeved or sleeveless first layer can be used under the jacket. The twin set can be worn alone with the skirt or pants on alternate days.

Tops/t-shirts/tanks. Cotton (blends) for day, silk for dressing up. Typically, synthetics/blends are less likely to wrinkle when packed. Select Solid colored garments that compliment your base pant or skirt.

Evening-dressy pants. Try a statement trouser: drapey palazzo pants or shimmery straight legging. Let your wardrobe plan guide you in need and appropriateness.

Accessories. An assortment of jewelry…casual to dressy, a colorful print scarf, a tote or backpack for day, a small clutch or evening bag for night, and a great pair of sunglasses.

Don't Pack in Haste

Maybe you have been there, particularly if you are in charge of getting the rest of your family packed as well! It is 11 p.m. the night before the 6:30 a.m. departure, and you have just started considering packing for yourself. You are tired, stressed, and with minimal time to think through your true packing and wardrobe needs. You begin by throwing in various garments, accessories, and just a few more items for “just in case” and slam your bag shut. Right?!

Save yourself from the packing stress and later frustration of not having the right pieces with you. Take the few minutes it takes to create your wardrobe plan. Use it to guide you through easily selecting the few coordinating garments and accessories that you will need to create a multitude of stylish coordinated looks.

Lastly, if your destination includes a flight, pack your wardrobe plan in your carry-on bag. If your luggage gets lost or stolen, you will have complete documentation for the airlines or insurance company.

Gift Ideas for Mother's Day 2021

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:26:24 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews: Virgil Wander

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:24:39 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews: Virgil Wander

Leif Enger is a masterful storyteller; more specifically, he is a weaver of tales about life in the northern Midwest state of Minnesota. “Peace Like a River,” his first novel, left me speechless with wonder as I pondered the beautiful characters and the calm prose. An action writer with a swift pace, he is not…but a developer of larger-than-life characters and authentic life scenarios is definitely his forte. But even more than that, his canny ability to describe inanimate objects with human characteristics by the turn of a well-worded phrase is the strength that makes a reader lean in and relish his books. Several times I caught myself pausing, re-reading the line, and then settling back with a contented grin.

Virgil’s life has just taken an odd turn. As Virgil describes it, “Apparently my heartbroken Pontiac breached a safety barrier and made a long, lovely some might say cinematic arc into the churning lake.” Fortunately for Virgil, an observer dove into icy Lake Superior to retrieve him, but throughout the story, he is on the road to recovery...recovery of his lost adjectives, of his physical strength, of his dreams.

Leif unfolds Virgil’s story with a variety of whimsical hometown locals who have known and loved him for years, but perhaps the strongest relationship is with a stranger, Rune, who arrives in this depleted industrial town looking for clues about the disappearance of his son. Though serious in his intent, Rune also has a philosophical outlook regarding life; that you should take pleasure in the small things around you. Virgil appreciates how Rune methodically creates and crafts kites for the sheer pleasure of it, how he spends time listening to hurting people, and finds joy in the raven that befriends him.

Kite-flying is the bridge to their relationship, and it is where the author adeptly uses his vocabulary to woo us. At their first meeting, Virgil spots the kite from his 2nd story apartment and wanders purposefully down to the lake to speak to the stranger. “It’s good in the air; this one,” Rune mused, “Not that it behaves. No No! Its manners are very terrible! But what a flyer...as if hearing its name, the kite woke riffling in his hands.”

Once Virgil catches the kite flying fever, he thinks, “Who doesn’t want to be carried sometimes? Come to think of it; it sounded a little like how I felt flying Rune’s kites.” And towards the end of the story, after an acquaintance has lost one of Rune’s beautifully crafted kites to a powerful gust of wind, Virgil ponders that special gift from his friend: “I loved that kite...we were old friends. I had soared and laughed with that kite. It got me out on the perimeter…Thinking it over; I became a bit less angry and more proud of the kite itself; it had refused to be flown by Leer one moment longer. It broke the line and caught the next gust out of town. A perilous move, choosing to throw yourself at the future, even if it means one day coming down in the sea.”

Of course, this last thought is what Virgil had been wrestling with since his accident. Who did he want to be in his older life? Did he want to continue as the hometown cinema owner and part-time city clerk, or were there still adventures and dreams to be had? Could his brush with death give him a new perspective and a new lease on life? Can we perilously throw ourselves at the future, not knowing if we will crash into the unknown sea ahead? Virgil Wander must choose.

Answering the Call of Your Hunger

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:21:26 GMT

Answering the Call of Your Hunger

By: Emily Betros

“Oh, that looks good, but I shouldn’t.” “I just ate a little while ago, so I can’t be hungry again.” “I can’t eat that; otherwise, I’ll gain weight.” Any of these statements sound familiar?

There’s a good chance that you’ve heard friends, family members, or even yourself say something to this effect regarding whether or not you should eat. While there is a lot to unpack around food and eating it, let’s focus simply on exploring hunger and what that physically and psychologically looks like and feels like to us. It might help reduce some self-imposed frustrations and anxiety we have around willpower, body size, and weight.

Hunger and DIETING

First and foremost, dieting reduces our ability to trust and honor our hungry signals. After all, isn’t a diet just reducing food intake when we want it or eating something “diet approved” instead of what sounds good? Dieting takes a further and further away from identifying our body’s wants or needs at different times in our lives.

So, the first step to answering the sign of hunger is to stop dieting. Just say no to any plan, pill, or persuasion that tells you what, when, or how to eat. Our bodies know the answers to these questions; we just have to listen. We have to learn (or rather re-learn) to trust that we can innately make choices around food that will satisfy us AND allow us to be at our healthy weight.

When we listen to our body’s signals—hunger, fullness, or anything else—we can determine what it needs or doesn’t need. Maybe what our body needs is food, or maybe we are hungry for something else: love, comfort, security, companionship, accomplishment, and so on.

DEFINE YOUR HUNGER

So how do we hear our hunger and answer its call? Let’s start by defining what hunger means for you. On a sheet of paper, create two columns. On the left side, number 1-10. On the right side, identify what hunger and fullness look and feel like to you. For example, one might be “starving, can’t think straight, fixated on food and nothing else, can’t make decisions easily, short temper with others.” A rating of 5 might be “comfortable, focused, energized, peaceful.” A 10 might be “very stuffed, uncomfortable, want to sleep or lie down, low energy.”

Define 1-10 for you and only you. This way, you can identify your hunger and fullness signals for yourself instead of taking external cues from the outside world, i.e., it’s noon, so I must be hungry and have to eat my whole lunch. Often we find that “full” or “hungry” start way before we have to undo our belts or eat the first thing we can get our hands-on.

Should I have that?

It might be surprising to hear, but eating foods that we find delicious not only satisfies our hunger but it is an excellent guideline for maintaining our unique healthy weight. Biologically speaking, pleasure is our reward for taking care of ourselves. So, if we eat something pleasurable, instead of saying what a diet tells us we should eat, our brain responds in a way that allows us to eat what we need and then stop.

If you eat something that doesn’t induce pleasure or enjoyment (or simply isn’t what you really want), your brain will continue to stay fixated on the food you deprived yourself of long after eating the less satisfying food choice. Now you have a greater chance of eating the diet-imposed food AND what you really wanted in the first place. This can lead to overeating and tipping our fullness scale from a comfortable 6 to an uncomfortable 9.

Some of us have been dieting for so long that we don’t even know what foods would satisfy us or bring true pleasure! If we eat something outside of our diet, we are riddled with shame, guilt, and fear about losing “control” and gaining weight.

Eating Mindfully

One way to reclaim your pleasure around eating it to start paying attention to your food. This is very different from fixating on it: calorie counting, meal planning with no flexibility, and other food rules.

Research shows that we don’t metabolize our food nearly as well when we are distracted during meals or just simply not paying attention to the smell, taste, look, or feel of our food. In fact, 30-40% of our physical response to food happens during this five-sense phase. If not paying attention, you can see how it would be easier to overeat and bypass your body’s response to fullness while eating. Another thing to note is when we are eating under stress, we don’t absorb nutrients as well.

All of this can be summed up as mindful eating.

A word of support

There’s nothing wrong with emotional eating or even eating too much…sometimes. Here’s what is important: you are aware that you are doing it and don’t feel like a bad person as a result of it. Many of us have been eating for reasons other than hunger for a very long time, either because of dieting or disordered eating patterns and rules. Emotional eating isn’t an eating problem; emotional eating is a problem of not dealing with your emotions.

Your appetite, or rather your body signaling to you that it’s time to eat or stop eating, is not a bad thing. It’s your body trying to keep you alive, and well so you can eat and then get on with all the other amazing things you want to do with your life! Feeding ourselves is a form of self-care and it should be honored.

Here are a few things you can do if emotional eating without signs of hunger is of concern for you:

Check-in with yourself before eating. What are you really hungry for, and what would it take to satisfy this need?

Sit quietly with your thoughts for a few minutes. Have a “feelings chart” available on your phone, in your home, or office so you can more readily name your feelings. A feeling is different from judging yourself, so make sure you go the extra step to truly identify how you’re feeling, not what you think you are. For example, “I’m fat” isn’t a feeling; it’s a judgment about how you feel.

Once you’ve identified your emotions and how you’re feeling, feel them. Experience them. Process them. Cry, write, talk to someone. This isn’t a practice of drowning them out or pushing them away. It’s about moving through them or just simply sitting with them until they pass.

Don’t judge yourself if you do overeat or eat for emotional reasons. Use that moment to reflect and learn. Layering guilt on to the experience won’t help. Choosing eating as a way to cope is not in and of itself a bad thing. It just can’t be the ONLY coping mechanism you have.

There is nothing wrong with you or your experience around hunger. We have internalized so many negative thoughts around this perfectly normal biological process that it feels scary to trust it. Just remember that mistrust has been taught to us by the diet industry that profits from us every time we try to fight against our bodies. The next time you feel hungry, thank your body for signaling to you that it needs to be taken care of and answer its call.

Restaurant Review: Quekas

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:17:58 GMT

Your Brain on Music

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:16:46 GMT

Your Brain on Music

By: Kim Carson

I’ve always wondered how I can have such a strong, visceral reaction to a song from my youth when I hear it on the radio. Has that ever happened to you? Driving down Main Street hearing the first few notes and being magically transported back to a specific moment in time. Powerful enough to bring to the surface strong emotions. I’ve always thought it strange that tears involuntarily can come to my eyes upon hearing a few notes, and THEN the memory tied to the song will come to mind. It’s completely unconscious. The memory doesn’t trigger the tears; the music triggers the tears, and the memory tied to that song follows.

For me, it’s usually something from the 70’s; I was 13 years old in love with the idea of love. I grew up in Detroit between 7 and 8 Mile (yeah, the one Eminem sings about). As a kid, I just didn’t fit in—I was different. I wasn’t the most popular kid in school, and socially it was always awkward for me. I was uncoordinated, so you can only imagine what emotional reaction Dodge Ball would stir up in me. Music and radio were my escape, a magical world I could disappear into, knowing I could count on my favorite DJs for companionship, and the music was there to soothe my soul. It was a constant.

MUSIC AND MEMORIES

One experience that comes to mind is this one: I recently heard the song Right Back To Where I Started From by Maxine Nightengale on the radio. Hearing the first few notes transported me back to a hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee, 16-years old, turning on the radio, unpacking my suitcase, and feeling so excited, knowing that tomorrow will be my first day on the air reading the weather on WKVQ radio station. Facebook friend Debbie Ralph posted, saying, “...at 67, it’s such a sweet mind trip for a bit. The most primal areas of our brain react strongly to evocative sensory experiences. I heard Grand Funk out of the blue; (suddenly) I was that cute little hippy chick and 16 out carousing with my bestie and going to concerts at the LA Forum.”

How and why are music, emotions, and memories tied together? I asked Ed Roth, Professor of Music Therapy at the School of Music-WMU. Ed is also the director of the BRAIN (Brain Research and Interdisciplinary Neurosciences) laboratory. One of Roth’s most recent courses includes a neuroscience of music course titled “Your Brain on Music.”

Roth says, firstly, memory is quite complicated. Memories are considered short-term or long-term, conscious or unconscious, knowledge about events, general knowledge about the world, and knowledge about the order in which certain activities take place; when building a sandwich, I don’t start with mustard; first, I start with bread, then maybe meat, and so on. To answer the how part of your question, memories are built-in contexts, combinations of sensory and emotional information. It’s generally thought that the more robust, emotional component of memory, the more vivid, detailed, and powerful that memory will be over time.

What I wanted to know, though, is why it happens. Roth says, That likely has something to do with survival from our ancient ancestors. Your survival could depend on remembering the difference between something that brought you or a tribe member pleasure and something that caused pain, and emotion provides amplification to those memories to cause us to run toward pleasure and run away from pain.

Music’s role, of course, is primarily tied to its ability to induce emotion and, by doing so, conjuring up memories tied to those emotions, both pleasurable and painful. Part of it has to do with perception and biology, and part of our response to music is culturally derived. You can play the same song at two significantly different tempi, and people would have different physical and emotional responses to it. That’s what I mean by perceptual and biological.

However, the other aspect likely has to do with our associations between the music, our memories, and our identities. Think about how many melodies and lyrics you have memorized at some level – it’s remarkable! That has both something to do with the musical structure of a piece of music and the context in which that song became meaningful to us; think weddings, funerals, breakups, the birth of a child, etc.

Ed added music therapists are currently using music to help people who have age-related disorders such as Parkinson’s disease and strokes recover the ability to walk again, talk again, deal with memory degradation, and importantly, the emotional recovery that is also necessary when someone is having one of these experiences. One of the most compelling arguments for music as we age is its ability to make us feel connected to other people. Loneliness is not just a down feeling one might have from time to time. Still, it can lead to significant declines in health as people further isolate themselves, which causes them to feel even lonelier, and the cycle continues. Simply listening to music can be the first step to combat loneliness; listening to it with our people allows us to share our emotions and memories brought up by the music. Those experiences can further lead to us taking better care of ourselves and enjoying our lives.

Wise words, Ed. Let the music play!

Dear Future Daughter-in-Law, It’s Not You; It’s Him

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 16:13:00 GMT

Dear Future Daughter-in-Law, It’s Not You; It’s Him

By: Heidi McCrary

I have two sons. While I realize I will never know the joys of having a daughter, the same can be said for the many things in life we may never experience—like not having children at all, choosing a death-defying job (which brings me back to parenting), or moving overseas. Simply put, we don’t miss what we don’t know. I love my choices, adore my two boys, and wish for nothing more.

Still, as I watch my girlfriend answer her phone from her adult daughter even though she just called an hour ago, I understand that their bond is different from what I share with my sons. Not better or worse, just different.

As the saying goes...

A son is a son until he takes a wife; a daughter is a daughter all of her life.

A bit trite perhaps (and sexist, but let’s save that for another time), but this sappy sentiment sums up the difference between mothers and their relationships with sons and daughters.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, here are a few things you’re going to want to know before joining hands in matrimony with either of my sons...It’s not you; it’s him.

I may be the mother of your beloved, but I’m also a woman who was in basically the same place you are now. And I have the luxury of having learned the many quirks, idiosyncrasies, and faulty wiring in the male species. In the event of any fight you may have with my son (and you will have them), I’m likely to ask him what he did wrong and suggest he apologize. I don’t even need your side of the story.

He’s going to grow up.

One British medical report states that, on average, the male brain doesn’t reach full capacity until age 43, while the female brain flourishes 11 years earlier. The truth is, that young man you’re in love with is only going to get better with age. But then, you can say that about all of us.

I’m going to be the best damn mother-in-law.

I know this because I also began married life as the new daughter-in-law. It can be an uncomfortable fit when the mother of your soon-to-be is convinced that no one is good enough for her son. You’re not only good enough; I think my sons will have to work at it to rise to your standards. Love my boys? Check. Knowing my sons aren’t perfect? Double-check.

I’m going to love you no matter what.

If my boys decide to marry, they will not be the only ones who will fall in love. If they see something in you, so will I, because my sons have good taste.

It’s OK if life takes a different turn.

Whatever the future holds, you need to do what’s best for you, and I will understand. Even if you don’t remain a part of my son’s life, you will always have a place in my heart.

So, dear future daughter-in-law, hear this. While the two of you may make the perfect couple, you are just as complete as one.

Boom, Flavor: The Mind Behind the Tastes at Green Door Distilling Co.

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:53:58 GMT

Spring Sweets

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:51:15 GMT

Trying to Catch Our Fleeting Time

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:46:06 GMT

Trying to Catch Our Fleeting Time

By: Dr. Marti Peters-Sparling

I often feel like I can no longer keep up anymore with how quickly the days pass by. There is never enough time in the day. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, as I hear other people say something similar all of the time.

Kids don’t appear to experience this as much, and I read recently that it is because kids see each moment as an individual event. A day at the beach starts out with a trip in the car, excitement levels high in anticipation, lots of chatter from the backseat as they make plans for building enormous sandcastles covered with shells and seaweed like last time, or challenges to jump into the water no matter how cold. Then, the view of the blue-green water through the window, the waves, the blue sky dotted with a few fluffy white clouds, all the brightly colored umbrellas, the people! Once outside, the feel of the warm wind on their faces, feet sinking into the hot sand with each step, spraying back at me as they run. The sounds of gulls overhead searching for food and the waves crashing, people laughing. Challenge accepted and they run out into the water, then run back because it is cold! Smiles from ear to ear as they lick melting sweet ice cream off their hands.

As adults we tend to combine things into single events: A day at the beach, Christmas, summer vacation. If there are individual memories of the event, they aren’t nearly as distinct anymore—and they frequently get lumped together. This makes time appear to go by more quickly. Before you know it, the morning is over and it’s lunchtime, and suddenly it’s Friday already and there is so much I didn’t get done.

Some of this is negativity bias, some of it is just mindlessness. We allow the day to pass by without feeling the warm sand between our toes.

So how do we bring back our child-like sense of time?

Make time to pause and reflect as it’s rare that we can find extra time in our day. We have to make it happen, but luckily, it doesn’t take much. Try leaning into your senses for a moment or two throughout the day and see if this changes your perception of time passing. I think it will.

Break up your day by using all of your senses:

Visual

Slow down as you walk by a window and look outdoors, or briefly look around your room and take things in. This keeps us in the present moment, helps with daydreaming and distraction which make us lose all sense of time.

Physical sensations

What is your body telling you? Does it need a stretch? A change in position? Can you feel your feet as they hit the ground with each step? We all know touch can be a powerful healer, and even our own sense of touch can help us experience each moment more completely.

Sound

The whir of a fan, the gentle hum of voices in the next room, birds chirping outside your window. Listen and remember where you are.

Taste

We tend to rush through our meals and barely taste them, or snack without any sense of how much we’ve eaten. See if you can taste each bite, feel the texture, enjoy the act of eating.

Emotions

Take a moment and note how you are feeling. Is it joy, excitement, sadness, agitation? Experience whatever emotion is here, just as it is. This adds depth and personality to the moment. It helps us to connect our internal and external worlds.

What is Healthy?

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:41:49 GMT

What is Healthy?

By: Emily Betros

Eat right and exercise enough. These are typically the two areas we are told to focus on to increase our health. We might go as far as assessing our sleep, water intake, and if we’re lucky, someone will inquire about our stress levels. However, diet and exercise are still touted as the best ways to get healthy. It might be a relief to know that research actually suggests that these two areas of health, which we normally beat ourselves up over, actually fall much lower on the list than originally thought.

What health…is not

First, let’s talk about what health is not. Health is not thinness. It’s not whiteness, cisgendered, or able-bodied. In fact, health is not even a moral obligation to achieve. You do not have to pursue health or work to get healthier to be worthy. Your health is not entirely in your control – you can’t wrestle it into what you want it to be. Regardless of a desire to change your health, many people simply cannot prioritize it (and certainly not at the level that our culture has deemed its importance), because of other more important duties, job and financial situations, food insecurity, poverty, and a whole host of other reasons.

Let me be clear, this is not to imply that there is something wrong with you if you don’t prioritize your health. And it is certainly not saying that just because you fall into one of these categories that you automatically do not prioritize your health. Many of us just cannot or don’t want to, and everyone has their own right to make this decision or define health in their life the way they want to—not fit into the mainstream belief that health is the be-all end-all of worth or importance.

Hopefully it goes without saying, but just because focusing on becoming healthier isn’t a value or priority for you, does NOT mean that you are unhealthy. Health is not dependent on body size or shape. You cannot tell if someone is healthy by just looking at them. We could all eat and exercise the same way, and we would still all look very different from each other. Health is not just about personal responsibility and it is certainly not just about what we eat (or don’t eat) or how we move (or don’t move) our bodies.

Health disparities and determinants

The World Health Organization states, “The context of people’s lives determine their health, and so blaming individuals for having poor health or crediting them for good health is inappropriate. Individuals are unlikely to be able to directly control many of the determinants of health.”

And yet, the diet and wellness industry continue to make us believe that we are in control (often exactly what many of us are looking for, absent of health) of our health.

One reason for this is that the diet and wellness industry still equate health with thinness or the pursuit of weight loss. The second is that they can then blame the consumer when it (diet, cleans, plan, fix, restart, you name it) doesn’t work, and in turn they work to sell you something different (that, spoiler alert, also won’t work).

So, before relearning what actually determines our health, we have to give up the idea that A) healthy equals thinness, B) that we have control over it (our health, weight loss, etc.), and C) the pursuit of health or becoming healthy is the most important thing we can accomplish and will determine our worth.

In a nutshell, many different factors and circumstances combined affect your individual health. These include where we live, genetics, our relationships, income, access to health care and services, gender, and education. The W.H.O. states that the determinants of health include: the social and economic environment, physical environment, and a person’s individual characteristics and behaviors. Let’s take a closer look at what this means.

When there is a larger gap between rich and poor people, there is a greater difference in health. Higher income generally means better health. Less education often leads to more stress and lower self-confidence leading to poorer health. Safe housing, clean water and air, access to food, and good working conditions all contribute to increased health in people. Connections to your community and culture, friends, family, and overall social support affect health. Genetics play a part in determining your likelihood of developing certain illnesses, and you may suffer from different diseases if you are a man or woman. Being able to access health care (with constraints of transportation, time, or money) both preventatively and at onset of concerns impacts health. Finally, our personal behaviors such as level of activity, nutrition, smoking, drinking, drugs, coping skills for dealing with stress and other challenges in life also affect our health.

This list is not in order of importance. However, hopefully you can discern that drinking a green smoothie every day is a drop in the bucket. There may be health benefits to drinking it, but it does not, in and of itself, make you healthy. So many other factors create the full picture of health. And in fact, the stress and constant preoccupation with diet and exercise can and does create more health issues for people who otherwise, might not be dealing with. For example, diets often cause or exacerbate common ailments like stomachaches, headaches, sleep issues, and mood concerns.

The biggest takeaway here is that we have less control over our health than we are led to believe, and just focusing on diet and exercise has less to do with determining our health than we originally thought. Finally, redefining what healthy means, as well as how important the pursuit of health needs to be in our lives, is an excellent place to start for many of us. There’s a really good chance you are healthy, just the way you are.

Who Needs Wonka...

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:21:56 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews: “The Story of Arthur Truluv” by Elizabeth Berg

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:18:04 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews “The Story of Arthur Truluv” by Elizabeth Berg

“Arthur thinks that, above all, aging means the abandonment of criticism and the taking on of compassionate acceptance. He sees that as a good trade.”

So writes Elizabeth Berg in her early description of the main character of her 2017 novel. And wouldn’t it be wonderful if more octogenarians like gracious Arthur had this philosophy? Truthfully, it would be wonderful for me to have this goal in my daily routine as well.

A recent widower, Arthur spends his days riding the city bus to visit the love of his life, wife Nola, for lunch at her gravesite. He then arrives home in time to nap and talk to his loyal cat, Gordon. Upon waking the next morning, this consistent pattern repeats itself, as it has for the previous six months. The quiet cemetery serves as an outlet for his imagination as he reads headstones and creates storylines for Nola’s “neighbors”. It is there that Maddy enters his life.

Seventeen and despondently sad, Arthur sees past the nose ring and slight chip on her shoulder, to her inner beauty. Arthur kindly engages her in one-sided conversation. Consumed with her own difficulties as the brunt of bullying in her high school, Maddy is skeptical of Arthur’s pureness of motives. As the beautiful and peaceful cemetery becomes a daily refuge for Maddy, she begins to soften to Arthur’s overtures. She visits his home, she meets his also-elderly neighbor, Lucille, and she begins to not miss her deceased mother as much, because of how these welcoming seniors take an interest in her life....and give her the love that she has desperately craved for so very long.

In the middle of a global pandemic, a hateful political climate and a world where unkindness prevails; this read was a breath of fresh air. I wanted to hug Arthur for his non-judgmental attitude and for his courage in making huge adjustments in his life to accommodate others. He opens his home to both Lucille and Maddy. He gently suggests that Lucille volunteer her time to teach baking classes, which fills her need to be needed. He bargains with Maddy to pay for her time in cleaning his home in exchange for room and board, giving her validation in her need to be independent and forge her own way. Maddy blossoms under the support of a teacher who reaches out, and the exceptional care of Arthur and Lucille. This trio living in the same household become a different kind of family: not traditional, but a family nonetheless.

Unselfishness, kindness, inter-generational acceptance, loneliness, bullying and loss are all themes Elizabeth Berg includes in this sentimental read. Although the ending is expected, it still left me wiping tears from my cheeks, and rooting for all of the kind hearted “Arthurs” out there, looking for opportunities to make a difference, one person at a time.

The Power of Flowers

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:13:22 GMT

The Power of Flowers and How to be Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise

By: Kim Carson

My colon cancer surgery was Thursday, June 25, 2009. It was a sweltering day in Grand Rapids. You may remember that day too—it was the same day Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett died. They were alive when I arrived at the hospital. They were gone when I woke up from surgery. The reality really hit me hard.

Returning home for recovery…my living room took on the look of a quaint little flower shop—filled with vibrant colors and floral scents. All sent by caring friends and family. Those who know me well know how much I adore flowers. And for me, it doesn’t need to be a large, expensive bouquet—it could be something as simple as a single hand-picked bud from a garden. For me, I look at a flower and can feel my pulse slow and my blood pressure begin to drop.

Still at home trying to heal from the traumatic assault [read: surgery] on my body, I heard a knock at the side door. It was Mary—one of my good friends—with a shovel, bucket, bags and other gardening tools in tow. I asked her what she was doing here. She then asked me to come to the backyard, wanting to show me something.

Mary had dug up a wide border all along my wood fence and planted hundreds of flowering bulbs, perennials and annuals—all while I was sleeping. I hugged her in thanks for making my yard absolutely beautiful. She explained there was a bigger reason for her purpose in creating this beautiful garden.

She said, next year at this same time when the bulbs start blooming and the perennials begin to burst forth with all of your favorite colors—you can look out your window and be reminded that another year has passed. And just like the flowers that come alive again, you too are alive for another year.

It was one of the most heartfelt, thoughtful and lasting gifts I have ever received.

From then on, each spring, I look out my bedroom window and smile as I remember her words. The act was so powerful. And when I have flowers in my house—I smile more as I look at them.

Reaping the Benefits of WFH Pets While Keeping It Professional

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:08:27 GMT

Reaping the Benefits of WFH Pets While Keeping It Professional

By: Kelly Duggan

Along with COVID-19, 2020 brought a rush in demand for dogs and cats, with adoptions and pet sales soaring as Americans tried to fill the distancing and emotional void with a new companion. For those of us already in the work from home (WFH) world, our co-worker pets had most likely found their place and routine. Those of us new to WFH with pets discovered they now had default co-workers as the WFH scenario went on and on and on.

Working with Office Pets

Having always had pets, we’ve had many years to learn the benefits of being a WFH pet owner. Here are our top five.

● Decreased stress levels – The Human Animal Bond Research Institute has shown owning a pet can reduce depression and anxiety and have other positive effects on your health, such as lowering your blood pressure. Working at home with a family pet can also decrease your level of workplace stress, whether physical or emotional.

● Increased productivity – Some studies have shown that WFH owners with pets increase their productivity. For instance, when working away from home it’s easy to worry about your pet and its care. When you can easily monitor your pet as you do your work, you can be more productive and worry less.

● Feeling better – The Mental Health Foundation has shown how pets offer unique companionship, increasing happiness as well as motivation. Feeling good is an essential part of being productive. Working from home can be challenging and lonely for some people. Your four-legged friend can reduce those feelings and provide company.

● Taking breaks – We all love taking a break! When working in a WFH environment, it can be way too easy to stay in the same location for hours. Owning a pet offers a great opportunity to take occasional breaks throughout the day. Pets (especially dogs!) not only crave attention, but they thrive on an established routine. These breaks can help stretch your legs and clear your mind.

● Pet enrichment – One WFH benefit is that your presence is good for your pet. WFH lets you interact more with your pet and reinforce home rules. By doing so, they will learn when it’s time to play, but also understand when it’s time for work. Ultimately, it will increase the bonds you share and lead to a better quality of life for you both.

Keeping it Professional

If you’re a WFH worker, you might find things are more relaxed than going to an office. However, there are times when a serious, important or formal meeting is required. This is NOT the time for your co-worker pet to be part of the meeting!

Having your cat lie on your keyboard or your puppy chew on your computer charger or bark incessantly during a video conference might seem loveable or funny to you, but others will find it annoying. So, unless your pet is a lounger, like my Maggie was, you may need to keep them busy or tire them out. Use up some of your pet’s energy with a brisk walk, a quick game of fetch, or interactive play with a toy mouse or a feather.

Whether you’re working from home temporarily or permanently, we hope you’ll find that a pet can be the best coworker you’ve ever had — like Maggie was for me.

Share a picture of your co-worker pet with us on Facebook or Instagram with the tag #moxieWFHpets

Ending the Cycle to Close the Racial Wealth Gap

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 15:01:58 GMT

In Ending the Cycle to Close the Racial Wealth Gap

By: Kristie Curier

Imagine being in a runner’s race, and you are at the starting line of a large oval track, like the Olympic greats have run. The gun goes off with a bang!—It’s time to start running. Yet, you can’t move. You watch competitors run laps around you while you’re stuck in place, bound to the starting line. As other runners are miles into the race, you’re finally able to move your feet, but your lane has hurdles. Add in the weight of having cinder blocks tied to your ankles, instead of running shoes, while your opponents gather advantageous tools along the way, like boosters to help run quicker, or shortcuts helping cut their race distance in half. Not to mention, the race is centuries long.

This analogy very simply describes the wealth gap Black Americans consistently suffer from—widened by inequality and discrimination. I find myself vividly and frequently replaying a conversation between an old acquaintance in which it became very evident to myself just how this vicious cycle is perpetuated. I may have been aware that people of color are at an economic disadvantage, but the talk reminded me I am truly living in a different reality from my “peers.”

I was visiting home my junior year of college. I gathered with a couple of girls I met at my high school job that I still would occasionally hang out with. I was venting to them about my college tuition troubles that were constantly stressing me out, while I also juggled expectations to maintain a path to Honors and a handful of extracurricular commitments. Oh, and all of this, while out of the state.

I confided in them that I had unexpectedly been backed into pulling out yet another loan, this time from my bank, in order to overcome my now hurdle placed in my lane. One of the girls found it appropriate to begin sharing her personal tale of how she could relate. However, her story ended with her accepting the $10,000 her grandmother, who was white, was able to provide because she had saved investment earnings. It was a starkly different reality from my Black grandmother who cleaned at a chicken farm in her earlier years and ran an in-home daycare later on. She would just tell you God provided for her family.

The long journey in overcoming my personal financial hurdles continues, but has improved with time. There are less hurdles on the track this year, thanks to the guidance of my partner, who is also the financial genius in our house. I simply abide by the “yes you can swipe” or the “no you don’t need to go to Target for just one thing.” Thanks to his knowledge and diligence, in February we celebrated an incredible milestone for a young (25 and 30) soon-to-be-married, Black couple. In a span of 11 months and 2 days, we paid off $15,629.51 in debt, leaving us with absolutely no credit card or medical debt.

I know Black people are not entirely constrained to the binds of poverty. I also am aware white people can suffer from economic equalities as well. However, one of those is directly tied to racism. I mean, we live in a country that fails to tell the history of the 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre; the burning and leveling (and looting) of 35 square blocks of a once-thriving Black neighborhood...once hailed as “Black Wall Street.’

I have been and continue the path to break this cycle. While it may be too late to catch up, people of color can still commit to running a race well and far enough to pass the baton to the next generation who would otherwise suffer the same disadvantages. In order to achieve racial equality, the wealth gap has to close in and unfortunately that gap is mighty large to fill.

April Fool! And Other Pranks

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:55:42 GMT

April Fool! And Other Pranks

By: Hannah Reuter

The Elite April Fools’ Day Pranks

1698

The annual Washing of the Lions ceremony that was said to be held at the Tower of London was the first known hoax and it was such a good one that they continued it annually, even selling masses of fake tickets.

1957

A BBC TV show called Panorama reported that Swiss farmers were enjoying a great year for their “spaghetti crop” and showed footage of people harvesting noodles from trees.

1985

Sports Illustrated fooled their readers with a made-up article about a rookie pitcher who could throw a fastball over 168 mph.

1994

PC Magazine published an article about a fake bill going through Congress that would prohibit the use of the internet while intoxicated.

1996

Taco Bell announced it had agreed to purchase Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell and were going to rename it the Taco Liberty Bell.

1998

Burger King advertised a “Left-Handed Whopper,” and even got a lot of people to order it.

2014

Google published a Pokémon game where users could locate Pokémon on Google Maps. The prize was a job at Google as Pokémon Master. This joke was so well-done that software engineers eventually took the prank to create Pokémon Go.

April Fools’ Day Origin

How April Fools’ Day came to be is widely speculated and still remains a mystery to this day. What we do know is that over the course of several centuries spanning different cultures, this day has been celebrated with pranks.

Some historians believe its origin dates back to 1582, when Julius Caesar switched from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar. In the Julian Calendar, the year starts on April 1st or the spring equinox instead of January 1st. So, the people who continued to celebrate the New Year in late March–early April without knowing of the switch became the butt of higher society’s jokes.

Despite not knowing the exact origin of April Fools’ Day, it spread throughout Britain during the 1800s. In Scotland, it even became a two-day tradition.

April Fools’ Day is a fun way to play pranks on friends and loved ones. Always remember to make sure you are aware of your surroundings and know enough about the people you are fooling to be safe!

Pranks 101

Want to play a joke on a co-worker? Fill up their room with balloons! The moment they open that door, the balloons will come flooding out.

Does the person you want to prank enjoy candied apples? Try dipping an onion in caramel for them instead!

Put cups of water in close proximity on the floor and watch them struggle to make it through without spilling one of them, or worse, the domino effect.

Get a party popper and place it with a string across a door. The person who opens it will be bombarded with confetti!

Nothing is easier than the fake bug trick. Buy a plastic spider or other insect that they may not like and place it around the house. Another easy method is cutting out a bug shape from paper and placing it in a lampshade for the shadow of a bug they can’t find!

Mix together Skittles, M&M’s, and Reese’s Pieces. May the odds be ever in your favor!

You can always go classic and simply, jump out and scare someone!

Put a “Please Honk and Wave” sign on the back of a friend or S.O.’s car! This will have people honking and waving at them the entire drive without them knowing why.

Fake broken glass decals!

Making your significant other or child their lunch? Throw some peanut butter on that turkey or mayo with the jelly.

Happy April Fools’ Day!

Where Your Smile is Their Passion

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:45:19 GMT

Restaurant Review

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:27:24 GMT

The Struggle in Seeking Wellness

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:19:42 GMT

The Struggle in Seeking Wellness

By: Demarra D. West, MA, LPC, PCC, RYS

Many people don’t know that the U.S. wellness movement started as early as the 1950s, with prominent thought-leaders, such as historian Michel Foucault, author of “The History of Sexuality,” helping shape how we think about wellness today. The term is actually indigenous, with original roots to Ayurvedic medicine which was started more than 3,000 years ago. The holistic medicinal model is based on the belief that health and wellness depend on a delicate balance between the mind, body, and spirit.

In November 1979, Dan Rather said wellness was “a phrase you don’t hear everyday” during a “60 Minutes” segment—and it changed everything. Now, more than forty years later, wellness is the way we encapsulate all things related to our well-being. From company wellness programs, to wellness classes, to wellness supplements, to wellness treks, there is no limit on the supply and demand of the wellness industry. In fact, the Global Wellness Institute estimated the value of the wellness industry to be $4.5 trillion dollars in 2018.

And although wellness possibilities are endless with this dollar amount in mind, women have always struggled with prioritizing their well-being; which is why the famous quote from Audre Lorde’s book, “A Burst of Light,” felt like a perfect way to begin this piece. When Lorde says self-care is an act of political warfare, what she is really saying is that the lived experience associated with being a woman, Black, LGBTQ+, etc. makes self-care an absolute must for our survival and liberation. Lorde’s ideas about self-care were picked up by many in queer, feminist and activist circles. Caring for yourself became a way of preserving yourself in a world that was hostile to your identity, your community and your way of life.

Being a woman alone makes it difficult to care for ourselves, in part, because women are wired to have more of the social and emotional skill sets related to caring for others. As a licensed therapist and professional certified coach, I often find that when I breach the topic of self-care with women, they struggle with the basic tenets of wellness which then becomes a main focal point of our work together—from celebrating successes, having daily self-care practices, asking for help, saying no, and so much more.

Add intersectionality to the mix and well, it further complicates things. Being a woman of color, for example, can make self-care feel that much more out of reach, in part, because there may be more responsibilities associated with the lived experience of that identity. Data shows that women of color are more likely than their white counterparts to be primary financial earners, supporting other family members both physically and financially, and have more overall responsibilities. In fact, more than 70% of Black mothers and more than 40% of Latina mothers are the family’s sole breadwinners — compared to less than a quarter of white mothers. And at the same time, women of color have more caregiving responsibilities, with Black and Latinx caregivers spending 50% more hours a week on caregiving than white caregivers according to research by American Progress.

And no matter what identities you hold as a woman, caring for yourself is absolutely essential. From indulging in a sweet treat, to moving your body, to reflecting on what you’re grateful for, to taking a luxurious bath. The possibilities are endless. So, go on and make the decision to care for yourself today. You deserve it. Your birthright alone says you are worthy of it. Let’s be like Audre Lorde and commit acts of political warfare to become more aligned with who we were always meant to be.

Let's Discuss Mental Health

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 14:14:58 GMT

Let's Discuss Mental Health

By: Lalita Chemello

The National Institute of Mental Health says nearly one in five adults in the U.S. live with a mental illness. Think about that number. One in five. If you live in a household of five people—one of you could be struggling with mental illness. If you’re in an office of 50…at least 10 of you may be struggling with some degree of mental illness. This stat rises even higher for teens and adolescents, with nearly 50% of them dealing with some form of mental illness.

My “household” growing up, we were well beyond those statistics. Out of the five people in my immediate, but separated family, three of us dealt with mental illness. My mother was misdiagnosed as bipolar…later we would learn it was borderline personality disorder. My younger brother would also miss that same diagnosis, but the signs were there. You can deduct I was the third of that equation.

I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in high school, and in some level of defiance against my own mother, I decided my senior year, I no longer wanted to be on my medications. I was determined to figure out how to fight my mental health issues without them. Of course, I completely misunderstood why the medications were necessary. I wonder sometimes how my several dozen years of college could have been different if I had let myself be treated and regulated.

With my personal struggles, I understand there are a lot of ways to talk yourself out of treatment or help. You can sometimes justify not needing more help. “Oh, I know how to handle my anxiety symptoms or depression symptoms.” You can rationalize talking yourself through it in many cases, or straight up deny it in fear of having to actually deal with it.

It’s important to remember many also do not have the means to seek help and support. Treatment is and can be expensive. A psychiatrist appointment can easily run a few hundred dollars, for just an hour of their time. Medications without health insurance can also be expensive. Therapy could set you back a hundred dollars a week or month as well. And those several hundred dollars are sometimes the difference between groceries and bills, or your well-being mentally. Some wait to get help when things get really bad—facing a pivotal decision if it is not too late to get the help you need.

If I may be frank, my recent treatment is a combination of finally having the means to seek treatment, while letting things go on for too long. It should not have to be that way though.

So many painful outcomes could be prevented—if we could actually reach out and get that help, affordably. Many of us have felt the pain of losing someone, someone who could still be here today if resources for mental health were more readily available. They might still be here if mental illness was better understood and not clouded in mystery…so that perhaps they could have received a proper diagnosis and treatment. They could have had proper treatment if there was more funding. They could have…

Those are heavy words. But they hold true. They really could have if more was available.

If you or someone you love is struggling in Kalamazoo you can contact the helpline for emotional support or crisis intervention at, (269) 381-HELP (4357). Organizations like Integrated Services of Kalamazoo and the Gryphon Place are great resources, with Gryphon Place listing resources of suicide prevention and crisis support in the surrounding communities.

Why Use a Library: Libraries of Southwest Michigan

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:51:48 GMT

Irish Kitchen Delights

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:50:17 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews: His Truth is Marching On...

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:47:58 GMT

Restaurant Review: Bruno's Pizza

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:46:07 GMT

A Match Made in Heaven

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:43:06 GMT

When Less is More

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:31:06 GMT

For Jewelry That is UniQ-ly You

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:29:35 GMT

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The Post-COVID Bucket List...and the problem with mine

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:26:47 GMT

Prep. Pamper. Relax. Self-Care in West Michigan

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:24:15 GMT

Embracing the Unique Dress Code at Work

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 17:05:46 GMT

How to Build a Great Wardrobe

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:57:08 GMT

Happiness vs. Peace: A Monk, a Pastor, and a Rabbi

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:40:16 GMT

Beholding Beauty

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:28:15 GMT

Beholding Beauty

The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

Kids & Body Image: Your Message Matters

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:22:10 GMT

Kids & Body Image: Your Message Matters

When You Feel Good, You Look Good

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:15:36 GMT

Don't Sell Yourself Short

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 16:03:51 GMT

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Mardi Gras Menu

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:59:14 GMT

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I Love to be in Love

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:56:17 GMT

Pantone's 2021 Colors of the Year

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:56:15 GMT

Marlita Walker Reviews: The One-in-a-Million Boy

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:49:19 GMT

Eating Disorder Awareness Month

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:43:31 GMT

Hearts & Candy or Darts & Revenge

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:37:32 GMT

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The month of February, the home of Valentine’s Day, bombards us with images of hearts, candy, flowers and promises of eternal love. But for many, Valentine’s Day is nothing more than a reminder of love lost, broken relationships and on-going arguments with the ex over kids and child support. Unfortunately, some feel the best way to handle their personal anger is to get into a long, drawn-out, ugly court match. The desire for revenge totally blocks out the real need for calm reasoning and common sense.

In reality, a divorce proceeding is not really a good place for revenge, especially where children are involved. When a person uses a divorce battle to satisfy their anger, the only real winners in the situation are the attorneys. The children are the real losers. The money spent on lengthy court battles eats away at the marital estate—taking away the financial resources needed to survive after the divorce.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Divorce Mediation offers an alternative to all of this. A trained mediator can diffuse anger and concentrate on the real future needs, instead of simply rehashing the past. It offers an effective and highly successful process where both parties can vent their anger and grievances in private without bringing children into it, and results in an agreement that you have created—not a judgment forced on you by a judge or lawyer.

One effective mediation technique is to have the couple imagine the conversation between their children at high school graduation about how they had raised them after the divorce. Did they put

the kids first and develop an effective parenting plan? Or did they simply use them as pawns in their personal battles? It can be a sobering exercise.

The mediation process helps the divorcing couple work out a parenting plan that will work best for them, and most importantly, for their children. Statistics have shown that parenting plans worked out in a mediated divorce have a much higher compliance rate than those imposed by a court – which will happen if you take the fight there. The court decides what will happen – not you.

When working with couples in mediations where the anger and tension is high, it is important to provide a controlled way for them to express their emotions so they feel that they have been heard. Both parties must have the sense that they have had the chance to vent their grievances.

The benefit of mediation is that the venting is done in a private setting without the extreme tension and expense of a public court fight. The process helps them go forward to create a better working relationship for their future and the future of their children.

If you are considering getting a divorce, think about using mediation – it can create a better future for you and your children.

Jeff Murphy is an attorney and mediator with over 35 years of experience in business, divorce, family law and corporate legal matters. His practice, Mediation Services of Southwest Michigan, has served clients throughout southwest Michigan and Grand Rapids for the past 15 years. For more information on mediation and how it can work for you, visit www.JeffMurphyMediator.com.

Local Sweet Treats for a Sweet Holiday

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:31:04 GMT

The Makings of Community

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:24:08 GMT

We are all part of something larger than ourselves. In many cases, the people we surround ourselves with daily and overall in our lives are all essentially a part of our community.

SO, WHO IS IN YOUR COMMUNITY?

My community is family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and a local coffee shop barista who knows that I am obsessed with sweet cream cold brews, even though it is winter in Michigan. I feel truly blessed to have them all. And I find joy in walking into many of my favorite local restaurants or breweries, just to find myself instantly greeted by a familiar face.

At the end of the day, community is all about connection. Connection is so

important when engaging in community. I enjoy being a part of groups that support my interests and provide me a small sense of “oh my gosh, they get it!” I feel this connection when I’m trading stories and survival tips at the kindergarten mom group made up of a diverse group of moms. We are all learning, whether we are first-time moms or maybe third-time moms, like myself.

However small or large your community is, the power lies in the varied perspectives and in knowledge sharing. Sharing your life experiences creates an opportunity

to build a deeper connection and allows people to learn more about you. I love this and have found much joy in this aspect of community. It may be uncomfortable at first, but I can guarantee you will find someone who will listen and enjoy the same amazing feeling.

Mostly, I love when I can help connect others, because it gives me a unique energy and sense of gratitude. Whether it is finding a local contractor, chiropractor, service company, or date night idea, I am happy

to help. I love helping take some of the burden off people trying to figure out who will be a good fit for them to work with or where to go. This is where personal experience is very impactful and I am glad to be able to offer this to my community.

Most of us have seen our local community come together time and time again to

lift one another up, to share and support, celebrate successes, overcome challenges and give back. Even the smallest thing can make a difference!

I would like to encourage this amazing community of women to continue to challenge one another, to give grace when needed, love and support each other and the community surrounding us.

Shop local, give local, become a mentor! Volunteer, join a neighborhood organization, attend a local event, have fun, grow your personal community and be blessed!

Eshah Wilder

Eshah, Commercial Operations Manager and Community Connector for Pest Pros of Michigan, has an infectious personality and is naturally adept at making lasting connections with people. She is actively involved in the networking scene and is passionate about supporting people.

Why History Matters

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:15:35 GMT

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The first day of my seventh grade social studies class, my teacher had pointed out a quote he had hanging up on the wall towards the back of the classroom. The quote read:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

This quote, often misquoted as “doomed to repeat it,” was entirely fitting. What we would learn in that class…and many others before and after, would be a part of that lesson—gain the knowledge to move forward and learn from the mistakes made by others in the past. All to prevent the repeating.

It is crazy how applicable that is to today… Last year was a stark reminder of how not understanding history, or not taking note of it, has created further problems today.

Bringing me to February.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Black history is not something we as a whole talk about—or recognize as much as we should. How often do we just note the month, let alone understand or celebrate it? And why do we continue to not fully embrace what that history is or what it means for Black

Americans and America? Most of what we do, is not enough, if we do anything at all.

How do we begin to fix that? By learning more.

HISTORY OF BLACK HISTORY

Black History Month, is fairly young in age, as it has only officially been around for 45 years. Compared to the birth date of our nation, it feels to be a small fragment for something that has history extending well beyond that—and is incredibly significant on our country’s timeline.

However, celebrations for Black history began over 100 years before those 45 years. The Black community has continued to celebrate their freedom, emancipation, and even the birth dates of Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass—both integral to the movement and success of the Emancipation Proclamation and Black rights.

It was a young Carter G. Woodson who would find the inspiration to designate a time to celebrate Black history following his attendance of the fiftieth celebration of

emancipation in Illinois. In 1915, he would be one of the founders of the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History (ASNLH), now known as the Association for the Study of African American Life and History. The association was created as a way to raise awareness of African American’s contribution to the American civilization, with a mission in believing that truth could not be denied—that reason would prevail over justice.

In 1925, the idea of spending a week to educate and celebrate Black history was established…finally celebrated in February

1926. That week, fell in line with the birthdays of Lincoln and Douglass. Adding the extra few days to already-established celebrations, helped the week quickly catch on—inspiring the opening of Black history clubs across the country. The ASNLH would also help in creating materials for schools who requested more to teach their students.

In the mid-century, the push to expand what was at the time known as “Negro History Week,” grew. It would not be until the late ‘60s and into the ‘70s that the real push for an entire month would be met. It was 1976—the country’s bicentennial birthday, that Black History Month would come to be recognized nationally. President Gerald R. Ford asked Americans to “seize the opportunity to honor the too-often neglected accomplishments of Black Americans in every area of endeavor throughout our history.”

1976. For reference the Emancipation Proclamation was issued in 1863—meaning it took the nation 113 years to recognize and finally encourage celebration and education surrounding Black history.

TODAY: HAVE WE LEARNED?

Now fast-forward to 2020…44 years after that moment in history.

The Black Lives Matter movement takes hold of the country. The overall theme: not enough has been done. In some ways, it feels like really nothing has been done. It was a painful reminder that 160 years from the long overdue emancipation—despite a month dedicated to Black history; what we learned in schools; the events and clubs that continue to educate the youth and public; decades of protests, deaths, arrests, and the list goes on—we as a country still fail to understand. We still have not learned. We still have not listened or changed.

The Capitol Riots in January were a further stark reminder of that lack of education… and how incredibly divided our country still remains. There was that disturbing dichotomy of the images of rebel flags waving inside the Capitol—the heart of our Constitution and country. And to see that flag wave over 160 years later within that sacred place…I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Have we not learned?”

I look at all of this—and know we can do more. We truly can as just ourselves. As a community. As a nation.

MOVING FORWARD

I am not sure if I speak for everyone when I say this, but it was why the Inauguration on January 20th meant so much more than

just another President taking his place at the White House.

On Inauguration Day 2021, you would have found me on my couch, watching, mesmerized—with tears pouring down my cheeks when the now Vice President Kamala Harris took her oath of office. My partner found me in tears and asked if I was okay—all I could muster was a tearful, “It’s a big day.”

Because it really was.

I recognize the historical significance of Vice President Harris saying those words. We now not only have the element of a first Madame Vice President—as she shatters the highest glass ceilings for women (just need President now…), but she is the first South Asian vice president, and the first Black vice president.

Does it mean we’ve done it and the barriers are broken and our work here is done? If you haven’t read the earlier part of this column, then to answer your question, no. We’re not even close. Though, I will say it is one of many steps needed as we head in the right direction of our future.

I do have to say, reading through all of the historical selections the Biden-Harris

administration has made in terms of Cabinet members--is awe-inspiring. We’ll have individuals as first-time representatives of the LGBTQ+ community, and many selections to become first-time people of color representatives as well.

President Biden said, “Men, women, gay, straight, center, across the board, Black, white, Asian—It really matters that you look like the country because everyone brings a slightly different perspective.” And the diversity of his administration is really beginning to reflect what that should look like. Again, a step in the right direction.

But this is not the end. The Inauguration and the administration are pleasant reminders of where we could be as a country—how we should be as a country in embracing our brethren. Yet there is still oh so much we need to learn. So much we need to do.

LOOK TO THE PAST

It’s why I emphasize Black History Month and the significance of its beginning, what it aimed for, and how it is really portrayed here in the U.S. We talk about this month to some capacity—maybe. But do we really learn from what is taught to us?

Do we seek education beyond just the little news stories or things our kids bring home from school?

It brings me back to the quote in my social studies class—and how incredibly important it is to do our part to understand history, both recent and remote, so as not to rehash issues or nightmares of the past. Some of the atrocities we saw in this last year were reminiscent of things that had happened long before days of the Civil War and emancipation. How do we prevent this? Education. Educating ourselves. Our children. Our neighbors, families and friends. You don’t need to embark on a full-on celebration. But you can seek out ways to learn more and better us as a community— and as a nation.

Lalita Chemello

Lalita is our Editor, Writer and occasional photog. Her 13 years of writing has landed features with Panorama, published poetry and even a short film. She spends any extra time she can quenching

her wanderlustian needs by finding new places to adventure with her other half, writing, or playing with their motorized toys.

Restaurant Review: Lake Burger

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 15:00:59 GMT

An Unexpected Fairytale

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 16:25:14 GMT

I Want to Help, But How?

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 16:12:51 GMT

I WANT TO HELP, BUT HOW?

DONATE

There are a lot of ways to give to those who need it. Whether it be money, items, or food. You can always put your items in the donation clothes bins located in the parking lots of businesses. You can also hand it over to Goodwill or The Salvation Army. Though, these donation spots do not always give to those in your area who need it, as their reach is broader. If you want to support your own community’s needs, find a church, food pantry, or school who will give donations to those around you.

If you have a lot of stuff, try your hand at hosting a garage sale or reaching out to those who may need it. Or, if you’re crafty, use those extra scrap pieces to make winter items like mittens, hats, and scarves for the homeless in your area – they will appreciate it!

VOLUNTEER

There is an endless list of ways to volunteer, from organizations to just doing it on your own. One place to give your time to is shelters. There are many different types including youth homes, women’s shelters, foster care, homeless shelters, and animal shelters. The majority of these are always in need for more helping hands. Joining an organization that hosts volunteering events is also a great way to get more into the community, and you can find ones near you at your library or online.

FUNDRAISE

Join a fundraiser or start your own, from a car wash, to a bake sale and beyond. Get your

friends, family and community to join in to raise money for those less fortunate or for other local needs. Join forces with your neighborhood to market your cause too, because even though you are helping those who need it, you should not be afraid to ask for help yourself. A smaller way to do this is by using a fundraiser box and asking businesses to place it near their checkout for the spare change.

SHOP LOCAL

Ditch the big-box stores and shop small and local, owned by someone who is more than just a corporate entity. You can do this by purchasing your food at local grocers, farmers markets, food stands, and co-ops. You can also purchase your personal accessories through artists at conventions, online shops, and other locally-owned businesses in your area.

FOSTER

This is not the easiest way to help, but there are thousands of children and animals (if you prefer) who need good homes while they await their forever home. In a world full of cruelty, choosing to open an extra bedroom to someone who doesn’t have their own is one of the biggest gifts you can give. If you are not

quite ready for that step, renting a room out can also help someone who may have just lost their home. Sometimes, renting a cheap bedroom can be a real simple gesture to get someone back on their feet.

Yoga for Heart Health

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 16:00:50 GMT

Yoga for Heart Health

By: Demarra D. West

Yoga can be dated back to 10,000 years ago in India, and has countless benefits—38 to be exact, according to the Yoga Journal. However, we have not given enough attention to the

heart health benefits that it can provide. In fact, when you think of yoga you probably don’t think about heart health at all. You may have an image of a limber body engaged in challenging poses (called asanas), like a headstand, however yoga is so much more than asanas. And the movement associated with yoga isn’t where the majority of the benefits lie when it comes to heart health. It’s in the breath.

It is no secret that our heart is essential to our overall health. Studies show that yoga may help improve heart health and reduce several risk factors for heart disease. One study found that participants over 40 years of age who practiced yoga for five years had a lower blood pressure and pulse rate than those who didn’t. Another study followed 113 patients with heart disease, looking at the effects of a lifestyle change that included one year of yoga training combined with dietary modifications and stress management. Participants saw a 23% decrease in total cholesterol and a 26% reduction in “bad” LDL cholesterol.

Additionally, the progression of heart disease stopped in 47% of patients.

One of the main reasons why yoga is good for your heart is because it can work wonders on high stress levels. “Stress plays a very important role in heart disease and heart attacks,” says Dr. Pratiksha Gandhi, a Preventive Cardiologist and founder of the Global Foundation for Preventive Cardiology, a nonprofit heart health organization based in Los Angeles. “Before the heart attack, we have seen there’s often a stressful event,” that can serve as a trigger, she says.

Hopefully this article has inspired you to continue your heart health yoga practice, or start one. There are many accessible ways you can practice yoga these days - from YouTube to virtual classes - no matter your budget or practice level.

FIVE HEART HEALTH YOGA BENEFITS

1. Gets oxygen flowing. Yoga boosts levels of hemoglobin and red blood cells, which carry oxygen to the tissues. It also thins the blood by making platelets less sticky and by cutting the level of clot-promoting proteins in the blood. This can lead to a decrease in heart attacks and strokes since blood clots are often the cause of these killers.

2. Boosts immunity. When you contract and stretch muscles, move organs around, and come in and out of yoga postures, you increase the drainage of lymph (a viscous fluid rich in immune cells). This helps the lymphatic system fight infection, destroy cancerous cells and dispose of the toxic waste products of cellular functioning.

3. Increases your heart rate. Did you know that even yoga exercises that don’t get your heart rate up can improve cardiovascular conditioning? Studies have found that yoga practice lowers the resting heart rate, increases endurance, and can improve your maximum uptake of oxygen during exercise.

4. Lowers cortisol level. Excessive cortisol caused by acute and chronic stress has been linked with high blood pressure. High stress is also a major contributing factor in heart disease. By practicing yoga, especially during high stress times, you are able to lower your cortisol level.

5. Lowers blood sugar. Yoga lowers blood sugar and LDL “bad” cholesterol and boosts HDL “good” cholesterol. In people with diabetes, yoga has been found to lower blood sugar in several ways: by lowering cortisol and adrenaline levels, encouraging weight loss, and improving sensitivity to the effects of insulin. Get your blood sugar levels down and you decrease your risk of diabetic complications such as heart attack, kidney failure, and blindness.

Demarra D. West, MA, LPC, PCC, RYS

Demarra is a certified yoga teacher, Reiki master, licensed therapist, and entrepreneur who has a deep passion for all things women and wellness. She is the founder of Be Well Beautiful Woman, a global platform created for women to heal, have abundant joy, and immense business success.

What Women Know About Dieting

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:26:50 GMT

What Women Know About Dieting

By: Emily Betros

Goals. Transformation. Truth-seeking. Change.

January brings a palpable awareness to new beginnings. One place that this always shows up this time of year is in the world of weight loss, particularly through dieting. There is nothing wrong with making your health a priority, making some changes to your routine, or setting a goal around your wellness. However, dieting (i.e. restricting our food intake with the goal of weight loss) strips women of one of our greatest gifts: our intuition.

There’s a good chance that if you have been on one diet, you have been on another...and another. That’s because women have been conditioned to believe (and are still being sold on) that their worth is directly tied to the size, shape, and weight of their bodies. So, if we aren’t working on our bodies, there must be something wrong with us. Women know that most diets don’t work, and the ones that do, have temporary results and often do not last. Why do we continue to buy into this? Because the industry has led us to believe that we failed, could not finish, and did not have the willpower to stick with the diet. Somehow, it is our fault that their product failed to work! Our best defense in this cycle is the wise voice that lies in each of us that knows our truth, our intuition.

Women know that knowledge does not just come from the outside. In many cases, we do not need data or hard facts when it comes to knowing what to do, when something is wrong, or what decision to make. We have our own internal compass that helps us. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t see things through a woman’s eyes. So, women have been taught to ignore or even fear our intuition. We are taught to use our heads, not our heart, and to only trust what is rational or logical. Both the rational mind and intuitive mind are important and there should be a balance. But, many of us have been leaning way too far on the rational side, leaving the intuitive brain silenced.

Have you ever been told or have told yourself that you’re being too sensitive or emotional? Why do we tell ourselves this when sensitivity or emotional attunement are some of our greatest powers? How often do we tell female friends to listen to their gut, but push our own away? We have been told that it is wrong to live by this internal information and that there must be something wrong with us if we do. So, it is no wonder that we search for quantitative and tangible ways to live in the world. Insert: dieting.

Dieting gives you a plan, a measurable way to move forward and assess progress. The message is that women’s bodies are “out of control” and a diet shows that you are in control. If a woman’s body is larger than what society has deemed acceptable, the focus should be on making it small and less inconvenient for the world around her. So, what do we do to reclaim this intuition around diet culture? We start showing up like the women we are. We create an environment that allows us to authentically be women, we connect and talk and surround ourselves with women instead of pushing that away.

To get in touch with our intuition, we need to get back in touch with the feminine. We listen, we slow down, we rest, we find stillness when we can, we are receptive and emotional. We focus on how we actually feel instead of how we “should” be feeling, making decisions about what our individual bodies and minds need instead of relying on the outside world to tell us. We come to the size, shape, and weight of our bodies with curiosity, not judgement to invoke guidance against ridicule. We check in with ourselves to find answers, hunches, and insights. By acting upon your inner advice, you will strengthen your intuition even if it has been denied for decades.

Often women struggle with knowing if they are tuning into their intuition or not. However, they know exactly how it feels when they deny it: stuck, silenced, betrayed, powerless and helpless. Everything feels like a struggle, whether we are talking about our bodies or life in general. It feels like everything out there is working against us and we struggle to catch a break or do anything right. This can turn to shame and guilt quickly. When we use our intuitive mind, we feel powerful and full of life. We move through the world with trust and fearlessness. Self-compassion and wisdom lives in this intuitive space. We are more powerful WITH this tool than without it.

Trying using your intuition the next time you feel pulled to work on your body, to change your size, shape, or weight. Can you be still long enough to listen to your internal compass that is composed of compassion and truth and make a decision from that space? Is there an alternative way or reason behind that feeling that surfaces in that stillness that is more authentic to you? Women have long known many truths about the world around us, none more important than our own that lives within us.

Emily Betros

Emily is a licensed clinical social worker, certified health coach, and owner of Reclaiming Health, LLC. She specializes in body image support, eating disorders, anxiety, life transitions, mindfulness, and women's issues. More info: www.reclaiminghealth.net .

Engagement Photos Tips and Advice

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:22:30 GMT

Engagement Photos Tips and Advice

By: Lalita Chemello

You’re getting married! But first, it is time for the now time-honored tradition of taking photos together for your enjoyment, save the dates and announcements, also known as your engagement photos. I spoke with Deb Kalsbeek, Owner and Chaos Coordinator of Snap Studio, to give you the best tips to prepare for your soon-to-be beautiful engagement photos.

When on the wedding timeline should I get them?

Deb recommends at least 6-12 months before your wedding date.

Picking a Photographer

Look for someone who is licensed and insured. You’ll want to find someone you are comfortable with. What is the photographer’s style of work, or what are you drawn to? Is it a moody image? Maybe the true-to-color photography? Or those faded tones? Are they candid or classic styled photographers? This all really matters on what you want. Also, find out how they’ve been handling COVID with their brides. And read through contracts thoroughly, ensuring if something did come up on either end, you’re protected from losing deposits, or the session entirely.

What to wear…

You’ll want to wear something timeless. Anything too trendy or Pinterest-inspired may date the photos, unless that’s what you want to do! Deb also says think about how you decorate your home. These are photos you most likely will hang up, so you want something that will complement the décor as well. Going with your wedding colors is always a good option. And wear something comfortable. You’ll be out and about a while. You don’t want something you cannot move in, or need to adjust every 30 seconds.

Where are we going? What do we want our photos to look like?

In Deb’s engagement sessions, many times the setting is like a date. It’s the two of you having a good time together, and brings out some of the most genuine of photos. You can recreate a first date. Use the backdrop of one of your favorite places together. If you want your pets in the image, include them! Ask yourself: what backdrop best represents you two as a couple?

Get professionally done up

You want to look your absolute best. Treat this like a wedding day run through. Get your hair done. Get your nails done. Have a professional do your makeup. Look flawless. And this goes for the groom too. If you feel like you look your best, you’ll go into the session with much more confidence.

Lastly, relax

Many of you out there are probably camera shy, and expressing your emotions and posing in front of a camera for a few hours is intimidating. Aside from wearing comfortable clothing and making yourself look like an 11 out of 10 for your day, find ways to calm your nerves. Deb even encourages a drink before the session—it’ll loosen your inhibitions and make it easier for genuine interactions. You don’t want engagement photos like Chandler and Monica from “Friends” coming back!

Tips and photographs from Deb Kalsbeek, Owner and Chaos Coordinator of Snap Studio. Find more tips on her blog: snapshotmomentsphoto.com/snap-blog

White Chicken Chili

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:17:45 GMT

White Chicken Chili

1 tablespoon vegetable oil

1 onion, chopped

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 (4 ounce) can diced jalapeno peppers

1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chili peppers

2 teaspoons ground cumin

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

2 (14.5 ounce) cans chicken broth

3 cups chopped cooked chicken breast

3 (15 ounce) cans white beans

1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese

In a large saucepan over medium-low heat, add oil. Add onion and slowly cook until tender.

Mix in the garlic, jalapeno, green chili peppers, cumin, oregano and cayenne.

Continue to cook and stir the mixture until tender, about 3 minutes.

Mix in chicken broth, chicken and white beans.

Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Remove mixture from heat.

Slowly stir in cheese until melted.

Serve warm.

Recipe: Quick and Easy Pot Roast

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:14:44 GMT

Quick and Easy Pot Roast

Put this in the crockpot before heading to work in the morning and be greeted by this delicious dinner when you get home.

1 3-pound chuck roast

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon garlic powder

½ teaspoon black pepper

¼ cup oil

1 onion, sliced

3 bay leaves

4 beef bouillon cubes, crushed

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 (10 ¾ ounce) can condensed cream of mushroom soup

½ cup Merlot wine

Sprinkle roast on all sides with salt, garlic powder and pepper.

In a large skillet heat oil on medium-high heat until moderately hot and brown roast on all sides.

Place roast in slow cooker.

On top of the roast, layer onion, bay leaves, crushed beef bouillon cubes, crushed garlic, and cream of mushroom soup.

Add Merlot, plus 2 cups of water.

Cook on low setting for 8 hours.

Should I Elope?

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:12:13 GMT

Should I Elope?

By: Hannah Reuter

I think we can all agree that 2020 has been a difficult year; from staying in and avoiding others, to having lost the ability at one point to snag that last roll of toilet paper. All have made sacrifices to some degree and if you are planning a wedding, chances are you might make even more. With the anxiety surrounding the uncertainties of the pandemic’s impact on the upcoming year, the stress of planning a wedding can just be the “icing on the cake” of a hard year. So, I will ask, is having a wedding worth it in 2021? Let’s break it down.

The Large Wedding

If you really want a large wedding (150+ guests), you will want to take into consideration the potential socially-distant future we may still be living in. Choose a large venue (with refund options) or an outdoor one, while also having a “Plan B” on hand. Perhaps, having a smaller list of family and friends that you must have at your wedding, if the larger celebration ends up not being feasible. Another option is to wait until 2022 or elope, then plan the “wedding” for a later date.

The Small Wedding

If you are having a smaller wedding, consider the pros and cons of eloping. How many people do you plan to invite? Have you always dreamed of a fairy tale wedding or would a courthouse suffice? How much money do you want to spend? What is the backup plan? If you want to avoid the headache of planning, you can even ask an ordained friend to carry out your rites and then submit your paperwork to the courthouse.

The Elopement

Eloping today is far different than its past versions, with plenty of classy ways to get married discreetly. One option is a road trip! Hop in the car and travel to a National Park, or other scenic locations around the U.S. to tie the knot with a beautiful landscape as a stunning backdrop. Rent out a small church or venue to say your “I Dos” and celebrate with the ones you care about afterward with a safe reception or an intimate dinner. And if there are any must-have “guests” to attend your adventure, hold it virtually. Never forget, there is always Vegas.

At the end of the day, whether you decide on the big or small wedding, or elopement, the important thing to remember is marrying the one you love and making that in itself special. Make the decision that is the best for you!

Hannah Reuter

Hannah graduated from WMU with a degree in Economics and currently resides in Portage. In her free time she enjoys strumming the guitar and painting. She is the author of two YA books under the pseudonym, H.B. Catherine. You can find information on her books & writing at hbcatherinewriting.com .

Work-Life Harmony for Your Marriage

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 21:07:29 GMT

Work-Life Harmony for Your Marriage

By: Chelsie Fall, SHRM-CP

Creating personal success takes hard work and it is not necessarily easy. Throw in career demands, children and other commitments, and life overall becomes a challenge. The cherry on top is prioritizing the most important relationship in the midst of all of this — your marriage!

That is where the term “work-life balance” would often be used, but there really is no such thing. Rather than seeking a work-life balance, we should really be seeking to achieve a “work-life harmony.”

For my husband and I, the foundation of our relationship was built on personal independence. We have always genuinely supported each other in our personal endeavors, but as our family and career demands grew, we had started slowly drifting apart. We were prioritizing all of our outside demands and realized that we weren’t making time for each other, so we had to make a change.

Here are just a few ways we changed things to help support each other’s goals and accomplishments.

Plan Together

Twice a year, we take time together to map out our individual and family goals, dreams, and aspirations. We spend an entire day talking about how we will help each other accomplish our personal goals and what things we want to accomplish together. It is amazing what we can create together. This allows us to stay motivated and creates excitement in our relationship.

Communicate Clearly

Expectations can get dicey when we do not have a plan for how we are going to work together through our daily lives. The dynamics between us and our daily responsibilities are interchangeable so either one of us could take the role of handyman or chef at any given time. In order to stay on track for the week we create meal plans and talk about any changes to our regular routine, so we know who is responsible for what. This allows us to make time for ourselves individually and meet all the other demands in our lives.

Understand and Accept Differences

We function quite differently in our lives from each other, which can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, our differences complement each other, allowing us to work in harmony. However, our differing personalities can clash resulting in conflict. Instead of trying to understand the “why” behind the behaviors we do not understand, we have learned to accept our differences with grace. This allows us to respect each other more.

Be Friends

Creating “work-life harmony” in your marriage is possible and does not have to be difficult. Investing just a little bit of time purposefully connecting with one another can work wonders and help you both feel accomplished, and still truly connected.

Chelsie Fall, SHRM-CP

Chelsie is driven to change the way we think about employees in the workplace. This requires a shift from traditional practices to create an innovative, people-centered, workplace culture. Her work is her passion but her “why” is her favorite people of all: her husband and children.

For Your Second Wedding

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 20:56:25 GMT

For Your Second Wedding

By: Lalita Chemello

Three quick notes about me: I was, at one point in my life, a natural people-pleaser. I have also had many discussions in the past with my therapist about my inability to ask for help. I also do not enjoy being the center of attention. And I will remark, these are things that are not a good combination to have when it comes to planning or executing a wedding.

My first marriage’s wedding, instead of the small, intimate ceremony or courthouse wedding I had been perfectly content with, turned into a concert venue with over 200 guests invited, and I remember needing to sit down multiple times to catch my breath from all of the talking and running around to see everyone, in my corset. I was barely able to enjoy my reception.

I will say, there were parts that made it a beautiful wedding. It would be one of the last times many of my loved ones would be alive, well and in the same room. It’s unfortunate the marriage did not work out. But, when I look back, I began to notice things that maybe were indicative of what would shadow the end of my marriage anyway, and a reflection of who I truly was at the time too.

And I share these honest experiences as a thought to you, just in case you find yourself in a similar situation.

One, I didn’t speak up.

Instead of trying to compromise for a smaller wedding, I just let everyone decide what they wanted to do. What could have been under 100 guests would get longer as qualifications for who should be there kept expanding. I could have spoken up, but I let it go. A part of me just accepted this was no longer under my control. It was no longer my wedding.

I had some help, but I never asked for enough.

To this day I still struggle with this. Part of it is a control issue. I did have some help from my ex’s mother and aunt who helped with décor, linens and we even made the wedding invitations by hand together. But the bulk of the planning landed on my shoulders. Calls, inquiries, bookings, etc., were me. I also remember bugging my ex to book a DJ, that turned into an incredibly last-minute thing. All this while I was finishing my last two full-time semesters of college for my Bachelor’s degree, and had just started my first full-time job too. I was exhausted by the time we got to the “day.”

I was going through the motions.

I honestly thought this was more of a case of cold feet, and convinced myself of just that. My family’s background with love and marriages is complicated, and a stable example of partnership is difficult to come by. But my feelings were beyond that. I wasn’t excited for the day. I was going through the motions. I had thought about ducking out of it before we said, “I do,” but decided we already had everything done, and it was too late to turn back. Maybe it was just cold feet. Turns out … it wasn’t.

There was an on-going theme of vendors saying “for your second wedding.”

Okay, this one was just funny, albeit a few years later. It started with a sandwich shop we had wanted to potentially cater the day, but they could not accommodate my many severe food allergies. They had said to my ex, “Well, consider us for your second wedding!” I cannot recall the specifics of the couple of other times this was mentioned in the process of planning, but when our divorce did come to fruition, this was an ironically fun joke to fall back on.

I am not a perfect person. I know my ex’s sentiments surrounding the day differ from my overall experience, but we were both in this marriage for different reasons. Thus, why it is so important to be honest and open about things. I hope in going into your special day, you don’t have these issues or reservations. If you do, speak up!

A wedding like this, it is a little bit of a start and sign to how things will work in your marriage. You are a team in life, and this should reflect that partnership. Sure, one of you may be more gung-ho on what will or will not be there, but it will at least be agreed upon that one can pick out everything.

Speak up for what you want. Ask if you need help. If your gut is telling you to change something or something isn’t right, especially with the world in the condition it is still in, then look into it or change it. In the end, this day is about you and your other half. And in some cases, maybe that’s all you really need for one of the most important days of your life.

I know for me, as I go on planning the, I guess, “infamous” second wedding, I keep all this in mind. Making sure our plans and needs are on the same page. When that happens too, you realize, it’s not that difficult to put everything together. It will be about the two of us, and that, is all that matters.

My last little bit of advice: It’s okay to yell at your DJ when he fusses about the table being on the stage and no one can dance, and you tell him the only thing you want is to eat the allergen-friendly wedding cake made just for today, while sitting down, and that table will stay there until you eat it. ( And yes, I did in fact, do that .)

Lalita Chemello

Lalita is our Editor, Writer and occasional photog. Her 13 years of writing has landed features with Panorama, published poetry and even a short film. She spends any extra time she can quenching her wanderlustian needs by finding new places to adventure with her other half, writing, or playing with their motorized toys.

Anniversary Dates Done Differently: Quarantine Edition

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 20:17:30 GMT

Anniversary Dates Done Differently: Quarantine Edition

By: Hannah Reuter

Every anniversary, my husband and I go camping. A tradition we’ve had for several years, whether a small weekend trip at a campsite or a week-long stay in the backcountry, we always take the time away from obligations to enjoy each other’s company in the great outdoors. Although this year, like many others, we had to make some changes to adjust to our pandemic world. Stuck on what you can do for your special day? Here are some date nights ideas, in the style of quarantine.

Outdoor Igloos

If you are not willing to compromise your date night out to a date night in, try eating dinner in one of the outdoor igloos that many restaurants are now offering. It will most likely be a little chilly, so remember to dress warmly, or enjoy the warmth of your significant other’s arms while you wait for your meal.

Dine-in and a Movie

Dinner and a movie are a date night staple, and one that you can recreate in your home! All you need is a projector, which you can purchase for as little as $60, and a white sheet or wall. If you really think you will be using the projector often, I recommend a projection screen or a solid-white wall as well. Then grab some blankets, your favorite carry-out, and lights, camera, action! This is also a great outdoor idea for bonfire movie nights.

Sledding and a Cup of Hot Cocoa

Have you ever watched one of those cheesy, romantic holiday movies? If you have, then you know there is most likely a sledding scene that ends with the potential couple grabbing hot cocoa to warm themselves afterward. So, make your anniversary into a movie scene that your other half will never forget!

Spa Day

An at-home spa day or a couple’s massage is a great way to spend the day with a loved one. Who enjoys getting pampered and relaxing those woes away, if only for a day? For an at-home spa day, try out bath salts and facials. For a massage, check out one of the many local masseuses and their safety protocols in place.

Treat-Yourself Coupons

Aah, the glorious handmade coupon booklets, a timeless classic. Have your partner write down five things they would enjoy and five things they think you would like as well, then you do the same for them. Allow for three “opt-outs,” exchange the booklets, and have a humorous night of doing tasks for your partner. Make them silly, romantic, or even a chore you have been wanting done – then let the games begin.

Hannah Reuter

Bridesmaids' Gift Ideas

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 20:08:16 GMT

Bridesmaids' Gift Ideas

By: Rachel Kirtley

After saying “YES,” the fun really begins! Asking your best friends and loved ones to be a bridesmaid is exciting, and everyone wants to think of a fun, trendy way to ask them. Lucky for you, Kalamazoo has so many unique and locally owned shops to put together the perfect bridesmaids gifts — from candles and wine, to the most adorable cookies. I have compiled a list of Kalamazoo’s best places to help put together a unique way of asking your BFFs to be by your side on your special day!

Tempo Vino Winery of Kalamazoo

260 E Michigan Ave | www.tempovinowinery.com

Everyone loves a celebration, and what’s a celebration without a toast? Tempo Vino Winery of Kalamazoo has been a long-time favorite of mine. While you can choose from their many bottles of wine, they also offer half bottles, perfect for this occasion! Best of all? You can create a custom label for any of their full- or half-size bottles of wine. Located right in downtown Kalamazoo, you can stop in for a wine tasting and Alex will help you pair the perfect wine to your bridesmaids. At Tempo Vino they are very proud of their wine and winemaking processes. Wines are handcrafted in small batches from grapes grown around the world. Tempo Vino selects the best grapes from top vineyards each harvest, and import the juice to the winery for winemaking. They stand out as the only winery in the area where you can actually taste and make wine from grapes grown in France, Italy, Germany, Australia and California. Need a custom wine for your wedding? Tempo Vino Winery also lets you create your OWN wine! That’s right. Stop in and create any of the wines on his list, or Alex will help you select the perfect blend.

Kalamazoo Candle Company

116 S Kalamazoo Mall | www.kalamazoocandle.com

Who doesn’t love a good candle? Kalamazoo Candle Company is my favorite place to grab candles and is conveniently located right downtown on the Kalamazoo Mall. You can plan an event at the Marketplace to make your own candles together, including custom labels, or place a custom order. They offer three different-sized candles and plenty of amazing scents to choose from. Their 10oz Jars are noted for 60-80 hours of fragrant burn time in a reusable glass jar. Design the label, wooden lid or both! The 6oz Tins with your choice of fragrance lend 30-45 hours of flame in recyclable metal containers. Customize the side label, lid or both. And the 1.6oz Tins are high-quality candles in a small but mighty “sample” size. Customize the lid label to make it your own. (Absolutely perfect to add to a bridesmaid gift box with their name on it! No minimum quantities!) If you are looking to make it a fun girl’s night out instead, Kalamazoo Candle offers Custom Candle Making at the Marketplace. Contact them to make reservations.

The Aroma Labs

www.thearomalabs.com

Who doesn’t want to smell amazing on their special day? The Aroma Labs, located downtown Kalamazoo in the Park Trade Center, is a fun and unique spot to grab a great bridesmaid gift, perfume! The Aroma Labs is a concept created by entrepreneur Tanya Thompson and inspired by her personal experience and passion for fragrance and mixology. Tanya loves helping people connect with their fragrance creation. She will help you mix up the perfect scent and you can even add a custom label to the fragrance bottles. The bottles are the perfect size for your bridesmaids clutch on the special day, too!

The Cookie Crafter

Instagram: @the_cookie_crafter | fb.com/lisathecookiecrafter

First on my list has to be the gorgeous cookies from The Cookie Crafter. A home baker located in Otsego, Lisa started her home-based bakery a few years ago. Hands down, she makes THE most beautiful cookies that I believe have ever existed. BONUS, they taste amazing! I typically don’t like the fancy sugar cookies, because they are just plain hard and dry. Yet, Lisa has perfected the cookies to where they are super soft and delicious. She can create most any custom cookie that your little heart desires, and her wedding cookies are among my favorite. Her cookies are custom order only, but you can choose from a host of flavors from the traditional vanilla, to cookies n’ cream, chocolate chip and other seasonal flavors!

Confections with Convictions

www.confectionswithconvictions.com

Everyone I know loves chocolate on some level. Those on a mission for stunning hand-made chocolates go to Confections with Convictions. Their confections are made from wholesome ingredients and organic fair-trade chocolates, based on recipes that were developed by chocolatier Dale Anderson right in their shop. They source from the local farmers market or buy directly from local makers and farmers whenever possible. Confections with Convictions is proud to share “Pure Michigan” tastes and ingredients with customers. Their chocolate treats are designed to satisfy a range of tastes, from classic flavors to the seasonally inspired and wholly unexpected. And they are always adding more! Many of the confections are also vegan and gluten free. You can special order right from their website or visit them downtown.

Colors and Cocktails Studio

240 S Kalamazoo Mall | www.colors-and-cocktails.com

For a more personalized gift for each of your bridesmaids, you can head over to Colors and Cocktails Studio. Lauren’s shop offers lots of cute custom glassware, earrings, cute socks, adorable bottles with matches to light those Kalamazoo Candles, cocktail mixes, cute stickers, and THE most adorable wrapping paper in the city. I highly recommend her shop to add the finishing personal touch to your bridesmaid gift box! You can order custom glassware on her website or visit her downtown shop.

Rachel Kirtley

Rachel has worked in all levels of the food industry for over a decade. She is currently a Social Media Influencer, Content Creator and Restaurant Reviewer. You can visit her at thekalamazoofoodie.com

When You Have to Plan a Pandemic Wedding

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 19:59:20 GMT

When You Have to Plan a Pandemic Wedding

By: Lalita Chemello

You said yes. And you had either already started, or it is finally time to plan your big day. But you, as an upcoming bride, are faced with something not many brides of generations past have had to consider during planning: a deadly pandemic. Even if planned for later 2021, there is a chance your wedding will look so much more different than it would if things were pre-2020. How do you plan for that? How do you protect yourself from losing money on deposits, or even keep your family and friends safe, and not become one of the many headline-making “superspreader” weddings?

Keeping you couples in mind, I spent some time talking to two couples in the greater Kalamazoo area who navigated the first year of pandemic waters to put together a beautiful, and safe wedding day, to share with you as you determine what you will do for your own wedding this year.

Advice from Brides Who Planned a Wedding During the Pandemic

Jessica and Juli went through the wringer to get their special days together and have some fantastic advice for you as you go ahead and plan your own wedding.

Pay attention to contracts

Jessica says you have to pay attention to that stuff and make sure the verbiage is appropriate. She had dropped a vendor because of the wording on his contract when they were planning the second wedding. They had wanted to upgrade their chair coverings since less people were attending, and it had stated the vendor was able to decide whether you postponed or not. Not impressed, they went with someone else. With everything going on, it’s important to know where your vendors stand on rescheduling or adjustments, and how they’ll handle things in case pandemic precautions are still necessary.

Remember the human aspect of the business

Juli had worked a few years in the wedding business, so when it came time to plan hers and swap gears with the pandemic, she went in understanding the people she would be working with. She stressed the importance of remembering you are working with people. Some are just there to do their job, not make your planning more difficult. And you’ll be surprised at how many will pull through for you, much like in her case.

Jessica & Ryan McRae

May 16, 2020 was the day.

300 guests were invited, 200 had already RSVP’d. The wedding was just about ninety percent paid off, and the favors, cake cutter, glasses and multiple other items were permanently etched or printed with the date.

As March of last year pressed on and Michigan headed into the first true shutdown, Jessica realized things might not get better in time for their day. A huge pivot was needed.

Just simply eloping wasn’t an option. Again, everything about paid for, and things permanently etched, they wanted to continue with the day. It would just look, a lot different.

With less than two months before the original big day though, things had to be adjusted, and quickly. Jessica, having already done most of the planning for her original date, had hired Heather Burrell as her “second-wedding” planner (and saving grace) to iron out the logistics of getting to a second date and

changing what they could about the wedding to ensure a celebration, but intimate and safe.

And the issues began to arise. Letting the 200 people who had RSVP’d that the plan was changing. Their original wedding date would happen, but smaller. A new date was planned for another ceremony and reception on September 5th, to hopefully have those original guests attend. As the lockdowns and restrictions continued, they would find out her husband Ryan’s family, who were mostly in Canada, wouldn’t even be able to cross the border to attend the new date. And their original photographer was stuck in the thick of things in New York, so they had to find another one, and quickly. To top it all, the RSVPs they sent out for the new date … well, over half of those were lost in the mail.

Lots of phone calls and messages came through to get things done, and not only that, but they would have to cut more people from the guests as well. Ryan’s family not being able to come ended up working out for the guest list, even though it was a less than ideal situation. And by September, with fear still high about the virus, many who RSVP’d did not attend because they were simply afraid.

The days would pull together though. On May 16, 2020, outside their church with their parents around them (except her father who was in the hospital with non-COVID-related things), Jessica and Ryan would “elope” or rather were married by their family pastor. On September 5, 2020, the couple would hold their second ceremony and reception, outdoors at a beautiful horse stable with 70 of their originally 300 invited guests.

The day(s) were beautiful. Sure, they were absolutely different from what was planned, but they still turned out perfect for the two of them.

“It was worth it. It was unfortunate circumstances, but you gotta look at the glass half full. Gotta be positive. Gotta look forward to the good things. It was a blast.”

Juli & Alex Milnikel

Juli & Alex’s date was July 11, 2020.

Similar to Jessica’s story, Juli found herself trying to figure out what they would do with their July wedding after Michigan’s first lockdown. Planning started with the venue, calling to find out exactly what they could do. The venue wanted things to proceed as normal, and would not allow the Milnikel wedding to reduce their 150-guest minimum. Juli cancelled the contract, losing their entire deposit. And did what she says she does best, “Ready … Adapt!”

With the help of her mom, they went to work getting things changed and figured out. The reception was changed to be held at Tosi’s in Stevensville—originally their rehearsal dinner space, but as they explained their situation to the restaurant, Tosi’s was happy to work with Juli to have the reception there instead. Their rehearsal dinner venue changed over to their church where they would be married, with a local caterer, making things just a little more simple.

Another unfortunate hiccup was Juli’s dress. She had actually worked in the wedding business, bridal sales specifically at one point, and did what she claimed is “the number one sin.” When she had looked at dresses, she was between sizes, and decided to size down with aiming to slim down a little more before their big day. However, the shutdown had closed all the gyms, and the overwhelming stress we can all relate to during the pandemic, with that of replanning a wedding, she was forced to have major work done on her dress so it would fit.

Juli remarks there were a lot of tears and some meltdowns along the way. Sometimes she would feel so selfish for not cancelling or postponing the wedding. “At the end of the day, we did what we thought was right for us and did everything we could to keep those around us safe and also provide an escape from what was going on.”

The Milnikels still married on July 11, 2020. “It was a beautiful day,” Juli said. “It may not

have been the day we originally planned, but it was exactly what God had planned for us.”

Her smaller wedding was a “blessing in disguise” to her as well. Not having the big wedding she thought she wanted or needed ended up being the absolute dream. She had time to visit all her guests, and actually relax and enjoy the reception. She certainly missed not having all of her loved ones there, but the day was still enjoyable.

Juli notes, “Throughout the entire process, I was told it is the marriage that was important and I feel that having to make the wedding smaller, we were forced to take a step back and focus on what we really wanted the day to be. It may not be the wedding you dreamed of since you were little, but that is okay. You are marrying someone who loves you, regardless of every wedding detail you’re stressing over being perfect. Take a breath, know it’s okay to cry and be disappointed and to feel those things. Just don’t dwell on it. Your day will be exactly how it needs to be.”

Is 2021 the Year of the Home?

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 19:49:46 GMT

Is 2021 the Year of the Home?

By: Ethel Wilkey-Downs

A lot has happened over the course of this past year, and if you are like me, you are looking forward to the New Year. However, I have never been one for crafting New Year’s resolutions. OK, maybe it was that I have never been one for keeping resolutions. True story.

About 13 years ago, I was a fifth-grade elementary teacher, and one of my students put it all into perspective for me. I assigned a writing prompt asking students to describe their New Year’s resolution and all the reasons why it was important to you. In his opening paragraph, my fifth-grade student stated proudly that his New Year’s resolution was to not make a New Year’s resolution. Witty boy! He went on to explain that instead of making something up that he knew come January 17, he wouldn’t be thinking about anymore, he simply decided to go on record that he would work to, “do things that were important to him.” Ahh. What wisdom this 10-year-old boy had. It was then I knew I would live my life this way too, by doing all the things that were important to me.

So, how does this anecdote relate to 2021 being “The Year of the Home?” If you find yourself looking to do any of the following, then 2021 can be “The Year of the Home” for you:

· Become a first-time home buyer

· Move into the home of your dreams

· Sell your home and cash out your equity to do all the things that are important to you

The real estate market has changed considerably over the last three years. Inventory is at record low. Interest rates are incredibly low. Home values have dramatically increased. Most homes for sale in 2020 received multiple offers and yep, some appraisals came in low. As a home buyer, how do you compete in this type of market?

You need to enact the services of a Buyer’s Agent, someone who is experienced with crafting offers, strong negotiation skills, and dedicated to looking out for your best interest. Buyer’s agents services are typically paid for by the seller. You also need a strong, reputable lender and a good buyer’s agent has strong relationships with good lenders.

As a home seller, how do you guarantee the best return on your investment? You need someone to navigate you through the process. Someone who has the resources to coach you through the steps to prepare you home for the market. Now more than ever is the time to enlist the guidance of a real estate professional to help you achieve what is important to you.

I’d love to help Guide you Home .

Everything is Temporary

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 19:42:15 GMT

Everything is Temporary

By: Kim Carson

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

- Marilyn Monroe

Have you ever felt you were living your life and your purpose at one moment in time? In my experience it appears the easier the journey, the more quickly we realize that we are exactly where we should be.

Arriving at that place of peace and acceptance, is it difficult? Of course. Is it satisfying? Yes. Growth is painful. It is the all-encompassing unknown territory, the uncertainty, excitement, fear and the loss of control (or really the illusion of it). We can only begin to realize the value of getting into the flow of life the more we fall into it and resist resisting. You will never know how prepared you will be for life’s “suddenly” until you find yourself in the middle of one.

Life can sometimes resemble that card game 52 Pickup. When the cards fall, they always fall suddenly, unexpectedly, and in an unpredictable way. There is a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe that sums up life and life’s lessons: “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

We travel through our lives with a plan but plans get disrupted, evolve or change. 2020 taught us the art of the pivot, but even a pivot involves some blind faith.

June 19th, 2020 was a Thursday. Sunny skies. 80-degree temperatures. And after living through a year of chronic debilitating pain at the age of 93, my mother finally arrived at the hospital for her complete hip replacement surgery. I was told by the doctor a typical patient is allowed to drive 4-6 weeks after surgery, but there was never anything typical about Mom.

That week I stayed with her at her home and we experienced some challenging times. Her goal was to drive again as soon as possible and on the ninth day following her surgery, she was feeling particularly discouraged. She called me into the garage to show me how quickly she could move her foot from the gas pedal to the brake. I smiled because looking at her behind the wheel sort of reminded me of myself when I was a kid, when my parents gave me their old car. I was the eager wanna-be senior sitting behind the wheel, dreaming of driving across the country.

I agreed with her that her new bionic right hip and leg was strong enough to drive. I asked if she wanted to go for a test drive around her senior living community. “Do you trust me?” she said.

“Of course I trust you, I watched your feet, your coordination, the strength in your leg you can do it.”

I sat down in the passenger seat, fastened my seatbelt and just like Thelma and Louise, off we went. It was just what she needed to boost her confidence, and reminded me of the little things she would do in my youth to help boost my confidence. Five days later, the doctor gave her the green light and lifted her driving restrictions.

Driving to mom represented independence, freedom, and what she’s been doing since my dad taught her to drive when she was 22. Her doctor said to her, “Charlotte you are a remarkable woman.” If you know her, you already knew that.

Fast forward five months, mom fell fracturing her pelvis and right elbow, all because she was trying to make her ornamental grass perfectly even in the front of her home. Helping her rehab at home is different this time. It is more intense. This experience is one of patience, trust, compromise, forgiveness and respect.

Where you are right now may not be where you planned to be, but it is where you are at this moment in time. As a little girl whenever I was experiencing a particularly challenging time my mother would say to me, “Everything is temporary. The good times are temporary. The bad times are temporary. Things will change and get better.” Somehow, they always did.

This time around, while she is convalescing in her wheelchair and unable to make things perfect with her own special touch, I am happy to try and do for her what she cannot do for herself. She is picky. Her sheets and quilt are marked with a tiny dot each so they can be draped and centered perfectly on her bed. She says she feels bad waking me up at 2:00 a.m. for assistance, but I cannot count the number of times I called her that early in the morning for her assistance, most of the time in tears over a boyfriend. She lovingly listened even though she had to work in the morning.

So, my gift of time right now is mine to give back. There are times we choose to step off the hamster wheel and other times we are pushed. I feel as if I were made for this moment.

It is a new year that will be filled with unexpected changes and challenges, so wherever you find yourself, breathe in deeply, and stay in the present moment. Remember everything is temporary. I wish you peace wherever you are in 2021.

Kim Carson

Kim is an Author/Podcast/TV/Internet personality. Watch and listen for her on WGVU TV’s Kalamazoo Lively Arts and J. Schwanke’s Life In Bloom. Learn more at kimcarson.online and fb.com/kimcarson

A Story of Two Women and Their Journey to Wellness

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 19:29:20 GMT

A Story of Two Women and Their Journey to Wellness

This time neither started another failed diet; rather both committed to a lifestyle change that would evolve into a journey of wellness. They’ve both learned that diets fix short-term problems rather than a broken system. Wellness requires a commitment to self.

The uniting inspiration for our subjects, Yasmin Pirbhai and Heather Dombos, is wellness. Yasmin, 16, is living life as a busy student, and is athletic and driven. She’s experienced a yo-yo of weight fluctuation throughout most of her life. Love of food and sweets has regularly hijacked good intentions. Love is food and giving is sweet. Heather, in her 40s, is successful, busy, and creative. She had a regular childhood regarding health and weight but began to experience a body and health change during university.

And while wellness was certainly the impetus; each are thrilled that looking great, being confident, and increasing strength are direct consequences of their commitment. Both are happier now that their burdens of insecurities have melted away along with inches, and confidence has grown with their strength. We showcase their wellness success, transformational change, strategies for success, and inspiration to others traveling on their wellness journey.

Yasmin Pirbhai

“I now know the difference between what my body needs and what I want.”

What does wellness mean to you?

Wellness is not only the physical health, but the mental health. It differs from person to person. For me, it is being able to be active, enjoy life, and being happy with who I am.

Was there a catalyst for the choice of embracing wellness now?

I’ve never been happy with my body and I just decided that it was time to do something about it rather than just wishing that I wasn’t the way that I was.

Have you tried to lose weight before? What was different this time?

Throughout my childhood, I had been bribed to lose weight by my father. He’d set goals and offer me prizes. It worked. I would go from fat to skinny. And then, my love of baking and sweets would win. My desire to consume massive amounts of cookie dough hid behind the screen of “it’s for charity.” The difference now is that I am doing it for me. I am doing this for me this time. No one else is involved. I am trying to make myself into the best version of myself that I can be.

What do you do to exercise?

If I have a wide-open day, I usually start with my morning matcha. I will run between one and three miles. I will do some sort of workout whether it is core or a specific muscle group, then I often go to the barn and ride my horse, and finish the day with a basketball workout or go to the track and throw. After dinner, sometimes I will do a heavy workout. It takes a lot to keep your body moving all day, but it feels good to incorporate activity into everything that you do.

Do you use any tools to help you?

The Lose It app.

Do you miss anything?

I really miss baking. The biggest thing that I probably miss is being able to eat anything that I want to eat without feeling guilty. Like, I was at a restaurant the other day and wanted to order a quesadilla but didn’t because I knew that I would regret it later.

Your change by the numbers…

There’s been a lot of change in numbers, from dropping 40 pounds, to running a mile a day and being able to run up to four miles.

Tell everyone the truth: Do you cheat?

Yes, of course I cheat. My example today: I baked a double batch of banana bread and ate way too much of it. There was another time my brother bought ice cream including a pint of rum raisin that I ate almost the whole thing. On my sister’s birthday, I ate multiple slices of ice cream cake even though I promised myself that I was just going to have one.

The most important thing to remember is that it doesn’t really matter if you have a bad day as long as you return to your goal tomorrow. We recently went to Mackinac Island and I indulged in fudge. When I say indulge, you have to understand that I mean indulge, as in fully, completely, and with abandon. Peanut Butter Fudge might be the best food I have ever eaten.

On tough days, how do you keep yourself disciplined?

I just tell myself that it is okay if it is not my best day.

Do you wish you had started sooner? If so, would it have worked?

I don’t think it was necessary that I started earlier. It was mostly during quarantine that I was able to make a lot of progress. If I’d started earlier, I don’t think my results would have been as good.

Do you have any further wellness goals?

To be able to sustain what I have been doing and to become as strong as I can.

How do you feel now?

Physically I feel stronger and healthier than ever. My body can do things that I definitely could not do before. I am faster, have more stamina, and am more agile. Mentally I am happier and for once I am happy with how I look as well as just feeling better because I know that I am actually doing something good for myself.

Favorite words to describe your current commitment?

Strong. Physically I can do the athletics that I want.

Willpower. I am strong enough to make myself run the mile that I don’t want to. And strong enough to prevent myself from excessive snacking.

What do you credit your success to?

I had a lot of support from my parents, my friends, and my brother, my coach. One of the main things that I changed when I started to lose weight and downloaded the Lose It app. I tracked everything that I ate and drank. This completely changed my mindset about caloric intake. I was able to balance. I now know the difference between what my body needs and what I want.

Advice for those who want to start on their journey, but are not because of knowledge, inclination, time?

I know that it is really hard to get yourself to commit. The number of times that I tried in the year before I actually succeeded, I cannot actually count. So, my advice is to never quit trying to begin. Once you find something that will help you whether it is a diet plan, a favorite work out, or a way to count your calories, it will become much easier.

Heather Dombos

“I knew that I had to start fighting for myself and my health because I was digging my own grave with a fork and spoon.”

What does wellness mean to you?

It really boils down to being happy. I don’t believe you can be truly happy when your body is in crisis (which we all know obesity causes a body to be in crisis). Being able to wake up in the morning and feel rested and truly present for my life. Liking the way I feel both mentally and physically, liking the way I look. Looking forward to each new day and ending each day with a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Was there a catalyst for the choice of embracing wellness now?

Yes! As a Type 2 diabetic, when the COVID-19 pandemic began to impact Michigan I became very aware that if I were to contract this virus, I could very easily be one of the people who did not recover. I think this knowledge combined with the down time of quarantine gave me ample opportunity to assess just how far off the rails I have let my health get and I knew that I had to start fighting for myself and my health.

Have you tried to lose weight before? What was different this time?

I have tried to lose weight so many times before. Sugar addiction is very real and it has been the ultimate challenge for me. Having reached a point where I was able to admit that this addiction was killing me was eye-opening. This time it isn’t about wanting to fit into a pair of jeans or look sexy, it is about wanting to gain and maintain a great quality of life.

What do you do to exercise?

I walk more than anything. When the weather is good, it’s an easy task to accomplish. I make a playlist with great music, lace up my shoes and walk around the neighborhood. On days that being outside is impossible, I walk laps around my house. Steps are steps! I also really like weight training. It is something that has always come easy to me (well as easy as it can be) so I like to lift. I think the key is to purchase a few sessions with a professional personal trainer and have them develop a routine for you to do at home or alone in the gym. I honestly think that they are both important, and the more muscle mass you have, the easier it is for your body to burn fat.

Do you use any tools, mind games, or other tactics that you find helpful?

My Apple Watch provides that little mind game around movement and is super helpful. I also use the Noom app which focuses on the psychology of eating and weight loss. It has been super helpful. I have also been observing quiet time daily with just a period of 5-10 minutes where I like to get outside (if possible), quiet my mind, tune into what my body is saying and focus on breathing exercises.

Do you miss anything?

I don’t really miss anything, because I haven’t declared anything off limits. Even with diabetes, I loved to drink Coca-Cola; it is my weakness, and I’m sorry, diet just won’t do. I drink a lot of water, but on the days when I really want an ice-cold Coke, I enjoy one. I think enjoyment is the key. Instead of mindlessly indulging, I take time to pour it into a glass of ice and I savor each sip.

Tell everyone the truth: Do you cheat?

Of course I do! A few weeks into this journey I ate almost an entire loaf of white bread by making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches…in one day. I’m not really sure how it started. I made myself sick (literally) and felt like I had the worst hangover of my life. The next day, I woke up and decided not to dwell on it. I focused on the day and moved forward. Yesterday we had an indulgent dinner of smoked brisket with sweet corn bread, and I had a big Coca-Cola with mine. Dinner ended and so did the “cheat” period. I woke up this morning and resumed my new life of mindful eating.

On the tough days, how do you keep yourself disciplined?

I make it easy to access my healthy options and I make it a real hassle to indulge, so that helps on busy days. I am disciplined in other areas of my life, so I like to remind myself that it is much easier to control what goes in my mouth than what comes out of it and if I have mastered self-control of what I say, I can certainly master self-control of what I eat.

Do you wish you had started sooner? If so, would it have worked?

I do. I wish I would have never found myself in this position. I don’t know if it would have worked. I am a much different woman than I was five months ago, let alone 20 years ago. I wish I could tell my younger self that the temporary satisfaction of food is not worth the experiences you will give up because you are too tired or too lazy to get out and enjoy your life.

How do you feel now?

Invigorated and accomplished. There are days (lots of days) where I fight a constant battle within myself over what I’m eating or whether or not I am going to move my body. Those days can be rather exhausting, but I suppose it is kind of like battling a strong-willed child. I have to remember I am the adult and I make the decisions.

Do you have any further wellness goals?

I want to do an extreme white-water rafting trip next summer, so I think that on the days when my exercise motivation is lacking. I would also like to learn to snow ski. I think it is best summed up by saying that I want to be way more active and each step tracked on my watch is a step close to that goal.

Your change by the numbers…

To date I have lost 42 pounds. Before shifting to a healthy lifestyle, moving was at the bottom of my list and I would often be out of breath after climbing a flight of stairs. Now I can easily walk a 5K daily and I don’t have any trouble with the stairs.

Favorite words to describe your current commitment?

Reclaiming my life.

What do you credit your success to?

A great support network of family and friends. My husband has watched me try and fail probably 1,000 times and each time I announce I am ready to try again, he always makes sure to let me know that I am loved just as I am, but he is ready to support me in every way he can.

Advice for those who want to start on their journey?

Honestly, I don’t think there is any advice that can start someone on their journey to health. The spark point is different for each one of us and until we are ready and able to stand toe-to-toe with our true, raw self and ask the hard questions (and be brutally honest with the hard answers) we will remain in our place of comfort. Lately, I have been thinking of a quote by Tony Robbins:

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Restaurant Review: Cravings Deli

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 02:33:34 GMT

Restaurant Review: Cravings Deli

By: Elizabeth Precopio

As Michigan’s epidemic orders continue to shift in our area, I have been so grateful for our local restaurants and how they have made things work so we are able to safely enjoy meals from their establishments. One of those restaurants I was recently impressed with was Cravings Deli, in Portage.

Cravings is located inside Pacific Rim Foods, a grocery store specializing in Asian foods.

Their website allowed me to examine their menu and even place my order online. They offered so many delicious options, it was hard for me and my husband to choose which ones we would get!

After placing my order, I was instructed to come to the restaurant in 20 minutes to pick up our meal. I had the option to come inside (masked) for pick-up, or I could call when they get there for a contactless delivery to my vehicle. I opted to go in so I could take a look at the restaurant and the grocery store.

Finally arriving home, I was so excited to dig in. The food was so beautifully packaged and made it fun to photograph. Oh, and it smelled amazing!

I ordered the delicious Korean Wrap with beef: Rice, peppers, onions, fresh cilantro and a homemade spicy Korean sauce all delicately wrapped. Everything tasted incredibly fresh. The sauce had a mild kick, but not any more than I could handle (and I am a wimp). The beef was incredibly tender and flavorful. Overall, I readily deemed this one of my favorite things I have eaten in a long time. My wrap was served along with a side of their miso soup, and I have to say it was one of the best miso soups I had ever had.

I also ordered a side of their Summer Rolls. This was hand-rolled rice paper with shrimp, pork, veggies and rice noodles, served with their house-made peanut dipping sauce. The shrimp was fresh and the whole roll was a complimentary side to my spicier wrap to cool things down.

My husband went with the Cumin Lamb plate. The plate was incredibly tender diced lamb seasoned with cumin and a pinch of chili powder, served with vegetables and a side of white rice. It was a little too spicy for me (like I said, I’m a wimp), but my husband absolutely loved it. He even shared the heat caught up with him the more he ate, but that didn’t stop him!

He also ordered a side of their Potstickers. Being that it came with six, I of course had to swipe a few. These were by far, the best potstickers I have ever had. They were a touch crispy, a little doughy and a ton flavorful. They were served with the perfect companion of a ginger dipping sauce.

I was incredibly impressed with Cravings Deli. Fast, friendly service and delicious fresh food. This is now our definite pick for Asian cuisine from here on out. My only regret? Not ordering one of their delicious-looking desserts!

Cravings Deli changes their menu seasonally and offers daily specials, so make sure to check out their website when ordering to see what the daily offerings are.

If you are looking for a great local restaurant to support in these crazy times, consider Cravings Deli!

Elizabeth Precopio

Elizabeth is a hairstylist by day and 24/7 food enthusiast. She visits restaurants in the Kalamazoo area and blogs about her experience at feedmekzoo.com

Resolving to Heal

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 02:28:35 GMT

Resolving to Heal

By: Jenny Opdycke, PA-C

Happy New Year! Time to let go of the old and embrace the new.

2020 was sure a year to remember. How will you make 2021 different? Do you want to lose weight? Get healthier? Get more sleep? Start a gratitude or meditation practice? Clean out a cluttered garage or closet?

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you want to change? Or reflected on how many times you started the year with the best of intentions only to have them peter out after a few weeks or months? Awareness and self-compassion are key.

It is only when we become self-aware, do we even notice that change is desired. This may start as a nebulous sense of discontentment. Something’s not working. I am not happy (insert other desired emotion — satisfied, fulfilled, etc.). Indulging over the holidays may make clothes feel tight and leave bodies feeling sluggish and achy. COVID may have exposed health challenges. You may be influenced by clever marketing of exercise equipment, diet plans or gym memberships. Perhaps, friends and family members encourage you to “jump on the bandwagon” they’ve started riding, posting on social media and inviting you to participate in new activities. Next thing you know, you’re preparing to make changes.

What makes you say, “Yes, I’m ready to make change?” Many reasons might apply—interest, health concerns, a need to belong, an upcoming event, willingness, etc. But what helps that change stick? I believe that it comes down to the difference between motivation and inspiration.

Motivation is defined as the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.

Inspiration is defined as the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something.

Motivation often occurs when a person is PUSHED to do something — perhaps out of necessity or a sense that things are not OK as they presently are. In contrast, inspiration is a much more transcendent experience. With inspiration, desire wells up, and it is all about the positive feeling that this change invokes. Inspiration can become a spiritual practice that is based in joy, hope and love. The root of the word essentially means “in spirit,” and it can help us see beyond the limitations of the body and mind. Inspired action is far more effective than motivation in sustaining the momentum of change.

Motivation often has a fatigue element when it is based in the criticism and resistance to “What Is.” Inspiration brings you back into an Aligned State of Being where you can access thoughts of Infinite Possibility, explore Divine Creativity, challenge Limiting Beliefs and make Sustainable Change. It becomes less about punishing the past or current Self and more about channeling the Highest Good.

By integrating past experiences with Awareness, you can learn how to offer yourself and others compassion. Compassion can help you create a new Core Belief that can be deeply healing: Perhaps everyone is doing the best that they can in any given moment—and that is enough. Level of consciousness determines what a person believes is possible or necessary, and it always drives choices and behaviors. Perspective shapes the experience of reality. Change your perspective, and you will change your life.

When you are living life through the lens of compassionate self-awareness, change can be made gently. Urgency and self-criticism often dissolve because neither are required to create or sustain change. By practicing self-compassion, you gain access to emotional and physical relief immediately. The work then becomes forgiving your past self and others for perpetuating dysfunctional behaviors and beliefs. You can break patterns of victimization and reclaim your innate power to make conscious choices. You can learn how to tend to the needs of your Being and validate the fact that old habits were meeting legitimate human needs and soothing difficult emotions.

As you become more adept at compassionate self-awareness, you will notice when you have outgrown these old patterns, and you will discard them with grace and ease when you are ready.

Awareness and self-compassion go beyond making New Year’s resolutions; they inspire healing, growth and evolution. What a beautiful way of saying Happy New Year!

Jenny Opdycke, PA-C

Jenny has been practicing medicine for more than 16 years. Her specialties include holistic wellness, anxiety/depression, trauma recovery and intuitive, low-carb eating strategies that promote self-awareness and healing. She loves spending time with her twin girls, friends, and fur babies. More info at www.integratedhealthmatters.com.

Is Anyone Listening? The Real Reason People are Fleeing Facebook

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 02:21:16 GMT

Is Anyone Listening?

The Real Reason People are Fleeing Facebook

By: Heidi McCrary

Surefire Success on Camera

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 02:09:37 GMT

Surefire Success on Camera

By: Kelly Duggan

These days the odds are high you will find yourself on camera for an occasional conference or daily/weekly meetings. Video conferences have become the new norm and they won’t be going away anytime soon.

With that being said, I have seen so often how people can unwittingly demean themselves when conducting business on camera. A sweatshirt, sitting in the kitchen with the kids playing around you is fine for chats with friends. But to help maintain your professional success, take a few minutes to look like you mean business on camera. Here are a few simple strategies for success.

Align Your Self-talk

Get your head chatter and mindset in a positive space. Your self-talk, whether positive or negative, has a big influence on your professional presence, affecting not only you, but those around you. If you’re fearful of being on camera, do the preparation for content needed, then … take a deep breath, align your self-talk and begin.

Define Your Goals

Know who you will be talking to in a meeting, or speaking to if delivering a program, and the outcome(s) that you desire. Knowing what spells success for all sets the stage for effective use of time and aligning yourself to obtain your desired outcome.

Using Body Posture for Better Communication

Posture is an important component in the messages you communicate. It conveys whether you’re tense or relaxed, your status, whether you’re confident and assured, or not, and if you’re open or closed to communicating. Just being aware of your posture and any adjustments needed can help you make the right impression.

Dress for Your Audience

Think about who you’re meeting with and the goals you have for that meeting. Dress in professional casual attire at minimum, and consider how those you’re meeting with will likely be dressed.

Choose Garment Specifics

Choose medium to dark tones in flattering undertones, in colors such as cool blues, natural tones and pastels. To avoid technical display issues, avoid busy patterns, white, red and all-black outfits. Semi-fitted to fitted waist-up garments, like collared shirts, V-neck tops and sweaters, and layered cardigans or jackets will keep your look clean and professional.

Complete Your Look

Use simple jewelry and grooming techniques. Avoid the sway of dangling earrings or visual bling. Apply natural, yet defined, makeup with slightly deeper tones than you usually wear. Gentlemen, if you’re the keynote or guest presenter, powder your nose, cheeks, forehead and head (if bald) to cut any glare.

Be Seen

Lighting is the key to this. Avoid glare, bright light and shadows. Use mixed-lighting undertones reflected off the ceiling along with facing a window for the soft, natural light it provides. For up-close camera views/demonstrations, a ring light might work.

Kelly Duggan

Kelly is an Image Consultant specializing in executive and personal image development, etiquette & communication skills. She is a certified member of the Association of Image Consultants International. Contact Kelly at: www.kellyduggan.com .

The Crossroads Mall Holiday Gift Guide

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 20:39:01 GMT

Care for the Natural Nurturer

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 20:33:30 GMT

Care for the Natural Nurturer

By: Emily Betros

If you are a natural nurturer, this time of year can be equally fulfilling and draining. On one hand, this is your time to SHINE! It is the season of giving after all. You likely give your time, energy, thoughts, love, and money even more than usual. Does this make you a fantastic person? Absolutely! You are likely many a person’s best friend, the mom that doesn’t forget “that something special,” and can always be counted on. And my guess is you haven’t found a whole lot of time for you, and if it hasn’t already,

it is starting to drain your tank (i.e. getting sick, poor sleep, increased irritability). The tough part about being a natural nurturer is that it is a role that is often assumed of us and therefore can get out of control quickly. Example: You enjoy cooking, now you are responsible for making dinner every night for your family. Generally speaking, you really do enjoy making a meal for everyone. However, when we feel like we have to or no one else will, it does not feel quite as enjoyable anymore.

When I say “time for you,” what’s your reaction? A chuckle? Scoff? Confusion? It is a little of all of those for most of us. When we talk about time for ourselves or self- care, there’s a vision that pops up: warm bubble bath, glass of wine and candles. I’m not knocking that, as it sounds heavenly! However, for the natural nurturers out there, we need to go a little deeper and more practical than that. It is about setting boundaries, getting other people on board to support you, going back to the basics, and letting go.

SETTING BOUNDARIES

To set boundaries, we have to know what our traps are. If someone tells us we are really good at something, does that become a trap for having to do it? If someone is going to fail, forget, or make a mistake, does stepping in become our trap? Does thinking, “I could do this better or faster,” than someone else become our trap to taking on additional tasks? Have some inner dialogue with yourself about where you unnecessarily insert yourself and end up with an overflowing plate. This is where you start to say no and set boundaries. When things we naturally enjoy doing and get joy from turn into work or have-tos, that is a sign to set a boundary. Rule of thumb: If it sounds like a “should,” do not do it.

SUPPORT SYSTEM

No one can go it alone. As humans we were not meant to. We are designed to oscillate between connection and autonomy. When we are natural nurturers we know that our default mode is to give: it makes us feel better, it makes others feel better, and it appears initially to be a win- win. Giving is our coping mechanism. It can distract us, give us a quick endorphin boost, and help us avoid what we are really feeling or need to be doing. We need to enlist our support system to help us identify when we’ve gone too far; when we are using it as a maladaptive coping mechanism or just plain exceeding our personal giving limits. Wondering what those things are? A quick way to find out is to ask the people around you. Ask 3-4 people you are close with and trust, “How can you tell when I’m burned out?” or “What do I do when I am being pushed past my limits?” It might be difficult to hear these answers from other people. However, it is even more challenging to identify these things about ourselves.

FOOD, WATER, SLEEP, SUNSHINE, CONNECTION.

The basic foundation of being a human able to operate at

their full potential.

BACK TO THE BASICS

Bubble baths, dessert, vacations, peace and quiet. Those all sound like

AMAZING self-care ideas. AND they aren’t super practical and accessible

to us when we need them the most. We need to go back to basics when we are talking about taking care of ourselves, and ultimately the people around us. Food, water, sleep, sunshine, connection. Let’s just start with those. The basic foundation of being a human able to operate at their full potential.

Making these five things non-negotiable is not selfish. If you identify as being a nurturer, then don’t you want to be at your best for others so you can give, give, give? How can you do that when you haven’t eaten all day or slept all night? Is it possible that it is actually selfish not to take care of ourselves first before we give? As nurturers we want to show up for people emotionally, financially, etc. We can’t do this well if we have deprived ourselves of these five foundational aspects. Start with these as they are practical, accessible and necessary.

LETTING GO

Perfectionism. If you are someone who likes to give, give, give, chances are you also like things to be just so, you like to be in control, and strive for perfection.

Perfection is the death of good enough and complete. How many times have you given

up because you didn’t think you could complete something “perfectly?” Good enough is pretty darn good! Complete is done, finished, off your plate! Perfection robs us of joy and

purpose. Perfection hates the saying, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.” Research tells us we find joy and purpose in the process and in the connection to other people, not the final product. Going back

to the example of enjoying cooking at the beginning. There’s a good chance the reason you enjoy this is because you want to bring your family together and nourish them, not present them with a magazine cover spread. We put perfection on ourselves most of the time. Good and complete are usually just fine with family, friends, or even employers. Check in with yourself and see if you are being stifled by self-imposed perfection. If so, it is likely robbing you of the joy you typically experience from giving.

As we are all being asked to do more and more these days (or at least do different), use these strategies to help minimize burnout and support your natural nurturer. It is ok to enjoy giving.

It can give us a deep sense of purpose and joy. However, when these two things are no longer apparent, it is a good indication that one of these tools might help you get back on track.

Local Holiday Gift Guide

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 20:03:15 GMT

She's Got Moxie! Ean Hamilton

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 20:00:30 GMT

Telehealth: Changing the Face of Healthcare and Why You Should Try It

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 19:54:14 GMT

Telehealth: Changing the Face of Healthcare

and Why You Should Try It

By: Ashley Carter Youngblood LMSW, LMFT, CMHIMP

Since COVID-19, virtual visits with healthcare providers have become a necessity. When people need help, but are not able to visit in person, telehealth is a creative solution. However, telehealth does not just have to be a response to something like a global pandemic. It can be an effective, empowering, and life-changing way to get the support that you need. Here’s why you should give it a try.

Convenient

This is an obvious one. But what if you are only able to get the support that you need on your hour lunch break? What if you unexpectedly have to tend to a family member across-state? Telehealth allows flexibility for you to meet where and when

you need to so that your care can be a part of your life and not an exception to it.

Insurance Coverage

Since COVID-19, insurance companies are responding to the public health crisis by covering virtual healthcare services. There are even some insurance companies that will cover telehealth visits in full, whereas they still require a deductible and copay to be paid for in-person services.

Encourages Self-Care

Even when you have limited privacy (e.g. in a busy home, at work), telehealth services can help you practice self-care by allowing for you to do things like take a walk-in nature or sit privately in your car at your favorite park in order to actively take some time for yourself. For others with limited mobility or restrictive home obligations, telehealth may also be the only way to actively engage in the self-care that is needed.

Deeper Connections

We tend to feel more comfortable in our own space. So, for those who can complete telehealth visits in their home, connections have the potential to be greater and the healing (especially emotionally) has the ability to be deeper. And, who does not want to do therapy in pajamas anyway!?

No Geographical Limitations

If there is a provider on the other side of the state who specializes in just what you feel that you need for your own healing, geography no longer has to be a limitation. So, even if Google brings you to the website of a clinician who specializes in something you cannot find locally, the support is still available to you! No gas money needed.

Supported by Research

It is strange to think about making a healing connection with someone through a screen. And, when seeking telehealth services, we should ensure that we are seeing a provider who is still committed to maintaining professionalism and our privacy, even from a distance. However, the central observation within the field is that, while we still have much to learn about how to do it well and sustainably, virtual visits are just as effective as in-person visits.

The Reality

Telehealth visits are not perfect. They may not even be ideal. However, in- person visits have their drawbacks, too. And, if receiving services via telehealth is what allows you to actually receive services, then telehealth care is doing its job! Living in an increasingly technological society means that digital is here to say. So, why not try it? We do everything else on our devices anyway.

Ashley is the owner and psychotherapist at her growing practice located in Kalamazoo, Inner Peace Counseling, PLC.

She and her colleagues offer telehealth services to those in Kalamazoo & other parts of Michigan.

Mor e info at www.kalamazoo-counseling.com .

Restaurant Review: Traveler's Cafe & Pub

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 19:35:58 GMT

Restaurant Review

Traveler's Cafe & Pub

By: Elizabeth Precopio

It was a Saturday afternoon, and my husband and I were hungry, but didn’t feel like cooking, so we decided to head out and have fun trying something new. We landed not far from home at TRAVELER’S CAFÉ & PUB in Portage.

The first thing I noticed about Traveler’s was the cleanliness. It not only looked sparkly clean, but smelled clean as well! I watched as servers would come in and out of the kitchen using hand sanitizer each time, which is obviously important in these times.

Our masked server brought us menus and we explored the wide variety of options they had. It appeared they offered breakfast,

lunch and dinner, along with what they call a “Destination Menu.” Their current destination menu featured a variety of German cuisines!

After drink orders, I took notice they had a full bar, yet I did not see a drink menu.

We decided to start with an order of CRISPY POTATO CAKES. Our server encouraged us to get them loaded, or topped with bacon and cheese, served with a side of ranch. These were amazing. They are basically small, flat tater tots, but are flavorful and surprisingly not greasy like one would expect. Although we enjoyed them loaded, I think they would have been great plain as well!

For my meal I went with a CLASSIC REUBEN with shaved corned beef, Swiss, sauerkraut, tangy sauce, on grilled marble rye with fries for my side. And it was a delicious sandwich! I was impressed how neat and clean the Reuben was, as they are usually sloppy and messy. I loved the amount of ingredients that they put on the marble rye as well. I hate getting a sandwich that is so large that I can’t even take a bite out of. And the fries were awesome, with a perfect amount of seasoning on them that made them near addictive.

My husband ordered and loved the NEW YORK BURGER. It had their Signature Michigan Craft Beef topped with provolone cheese and sauteed mushrooms. Served with Thousand Island sauce, lettuce, tomato, onion & pickle. It was near their version of a Big Mac, just with much better-quality ingredients. Again, we were impressed with the neatness and presentation of his burger. He also had the delicious fries as his side.

Lastly, for reviewing purposes, we decided we MUST try a dessert. Our first choice was the Black Forest Cake, but our server returned to apologize and inform us that they were out. So, we went with our second choice, the BAVARIAN APPLE TART. Let me tell you … this was simply perfect. It was made with local apples and cream cheese custard, served warm with house- made caramel sauce.

I loved that the crust was thin, and the apples were soft enough that there wasn’t a crunch, but not so cooked down that they were soggy or gooey. What WAS gooey was the delicious caramel sauce drizzled atop. Everything was perfectly proportioned to make it absolutely perfect. It is now my favorite dessert.

All in all, Traveler’s Café and Pub was impressive. It is a very casual atmosphere (think diner), but with exceptional food. It was impressively clean, and the service was great. Traveler’s does have a private room too that can be reserved for private parties. It would make a great celebration spot!

Elizabeth is a hairstylist by day and 24/7 food enthusiast. She visits restaurants in the Kalamazoo area and blogs about her experience at feedmekzoo.com

Holiday Cookbook

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 19:26:12 GMT

Holiday Cookbook

Compiled by: Rachel Kirtley

‘Tis the season of giving

And The Kalamazoo Foodie, Rachel Kirtley (who is also one of our writers!), composed a selection of recipes from local-area celebrities & restaurants for you to share with yours this holiday season. Enjoy!

Keeping Things Professional While Enjoying the Holidays

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 18:32:15 GMT

Keeping Things Professional

While Enjoying the Holidays During Pandemic Times

By: Kelly Duggan

Maybe it is for a glimpse of what could be normalcy, but in the turbulent and uncertain times of the COVID pandemic, many remain ready to usher in the holiday season. Although the festivities may look and feel a bit different this year, calendars are beginning to fill with festive plans. These events, done creatively to meet social distancing requirements, can still bring co-workers from all levels of the office together, and potentially include significant others, business-related vendors and clients.

As the fun, food and holiday festivities commence, consider these tips when planning and attending your business social events of the season.

First, know that the basics of social business etiquette remain. Respond in a timely manner to invitations and don’t miss responding to a requested RSVP. Your host is planning food, venue space and seating. Arrive on time and dress venue appropriate. Remember that gift giving is an easy way to say “you/ your business is important to me.” These gifts may run from standard holiday gifts that you would send to customers to more individualized gifts. With gift giving, know your office policies and use as a guideline.

THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS SPECIFIC TO PANDEMIC TIMES:

Respect personal decisions – for any events kept in person, respect and honor the decision of those that may choose not to attend and look to other ways to share the joy of the season. Abide by house rules – whether physically in a boss/co-worker’s home or at a place of business, follow and respect the ‘house rules.’ E.g. masks, handshakes, etc.

Virtual festivities – if your company event has gone virtual, enjoy, participate and engage others in the creative virtual experience. If these types of events include guests, limit awkward moments by remembering to introduce your significant other to the host and other guests while in attendance.

No festive gathering – some may choose to take this season off from traditional holiday celebration. If this is unsettling to you, find a personal way to celebrate the season by sending cards, scheduling time virtually/in person with those that have become professional friends or consider establishing a new tradition.

Note of thanks – no matter the type of gathering or event, a thank you note is an important final step. Send a handwritten thank you note within the first 48 hours, but also know that a tardy thank you note is better than no thank you note at all.

Do your homework, know your audience and venue, & let it guide you to a respectful conclusion.

‘Tis the season … to be merry, carefully.

Hot Cocoa Bombs: The Holiday Sweet Treat

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 18:21:42 GMT

Hot Cocoa Bombs

THE HOLIDAY SWEET TREAT

By: Rachel Kirtley

The holidays are here and everyone wants to get their hands on the latest foodie trend – Hot Cocoa Bombs! Who isn’t fascinated and delighted by watching the chocolate shell melt into a delicious cup of warmth this season? While there are many places here in Kalamazoo that offer hot cocoa bombs, we also have some amazing home bakers as well. I have picked out some of my favorites to share with you!

To Hope

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 18:00:45 GMT

To Hope

By: Lalita Chemello

Christmas, the holiday season and all it encompasses, is a season of hope. There’s a reason there are so many decorations with the words “BELIEVE” and “HOPE” spanned across them. Originated on the Christian side of things, it had first spoken to the hope of Jesus and his birth. And although beliefs may be different, the hopeful spirit of the season continues, despite what you or I may or may not believe.

We’re a hopeful culture. Oddly optimistic in some of the darkest of times. But I am sure with 2020, some of that hope has faded.

BUT ALAS! 2020 IS OVER.

(Yes, you can breathe a sigh of relief.) The year we continued to make jokes and memes about, relegating any mishap or drawback to a “Well, that’s just 2020,” is truly, finally, over.

We are a little beaten. I honestly was unsure what condition myself or ourselves as a country, or world would be at the end of this. Many of us lost our jobs. Some lost friends and family to COVID and other reasons. We mourned and adjusted alone and/or isolated. Yet, in some ways, it is a bit remarkable how

things turned out. Where we are now. And in a lot of ways, the darkness continues and we still have a lot to fight through.

At the time I’m writing this (mid- November), Michigan is yielding 7,000+ new COVID-19 cases a day. In one day. As a whole, our nation holds about 20% of the world’s COVID cases and deaths, putting us at number one for both in the world.

Because of that, we have been inside for months. At least the warmer months provided some natural (and safe) escape. I am sure by the time you read this, we are on another lockdown of some sort. No holiday parties. You most likely are not planning on seeing your family in person.

I realize I am painting a grim picture here, but hear me out.

As we go to print, Pfizer and Moderna released early positive trial results with what appears to be effective COVID-19 vaccines. Many of us are thrilled! THERE IS HOPE. Granted, quantities are extremely limited, and most of us as day-to-day civilians will not get our hands on it until late spring, at the very, very earliest. But, a vaccine is on it’s way, with other companies in the world working on some as well.

To add, things are changing in Washington too, with a new president to take the helm next month, with plans to implement measures to help control this virus and hopefully slow down the deaths. I am not sure what we can expect, but it will all be to prevent the loss of loved ones.

2021 will most likely be off to a dark beginning, but there is light.

I will be the first to admit I am more of a realist, and I can find all the reasons to not be hopeful. However, I earnestly believe we should be hopeful. And perhaps that is the spirit of the season speaking more than anything. Things will not be fixed or cured overnight, but we get a little closer with each passing day. The holiday will certainly feel a little empty without the people we love the most. Yet, we can remain hopeful things can change enough that we are able to do a little of what we missed out on this year. And we did in fact make it through 2020, which felt impossible.

So, here’s to hope in 2021. May your holidays be as cheerful and delightful as can be.

Creating Home for the Holidays

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 17:50:08 GMT

Creating Home for the Holidays

with

Northwoods Village Memory Care

As the halls of North Woods Village Memory Care are decked in trees, winter and holiday décor to surround residents in this spirited season, Audrey “Audie” Henriquez, Executive Director, emphasizes

the importance of creating a moment within the walls of their facility here in Kalamazoo.

WHY A MOMENT?

North Woods is unique from other care facilities as it is an assisted living home specializing in caring for those suffering from dementia in any of its many forms. And while all are at varying stages of the multiple forms of their onset dementia, one thing remains common: a continued deterioration of their memories as well as the ability to retain a memory. When one cannot make a memory, a moment then becomes so much more important.

With that in mind, Audie and her staff are working hard to ensure this 2020 Holiday Season feels like the holidays for their residents, even amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Months ago, the staff had begun to prepare for what November and December would look like for residents if the pandemic numbers increased or in general, failed to let up or flatten the curve. With infection rates as high as they have been this month (over 7,000 cases a day in Michigan when this was written), the center is at what they call a “Level E” status, meaning absolutely no outside visitors.

With COVID and the inability to bring residents outdoors, a plan needed to be formed on how

to create the same treasured moments and memories residents would have received around the Thanksgiving and December holidays. What it came down to: staff and residents would have to do the performing.

From the resident who enjoys playing piano to staff members who have been rumored of playing instruments like guitar, Audie and her staff have worked diligently to in a way, to really encourage their staff into participating in performances to help continue the idea of having holiday moments here for the residents. After successful persuading, even the resistant ones were happy to participate in the festivities.

With entertainment near figured out and orchestrated, it comes down to the other details to make the magic moments of the holidays for residents. Staff at North Woods reach out to residents’ families to ask if there are specific holiday traditions or occurrences tied to their specific loved one. Audie gives an example of perhaps there is a resident who absolutely loves making fruit cake, and every time they made it, it was absolutely terrible. Regardless, she still made that fruitcake. And maybe, in having fruit cake provided to residents one of the days this December season, that can trigger a memory, or create a moment to make it truly feel like the holiday for that particular resident.

North Woods also has a neutral chapel that can provide holiday services for residents who are used to doing just that for the holidays. With beautiful stained-glass windows and décor, a lot can be done to turn it into the beautiful holiday backdrop for those who hold religious ties of varying degrees and denominations.

Staff have already begun to tune residents in to channels like Hallmark to air holiday movies. Dinner menus for the variety of holidays observed in the community, while keeping in mind senior nutrition and restrictions are being put together and prepared. And as mentioned, decorations around the entire center.

One unique thing about the 61-bed community is the shape of the facility. Resident rooms and recreational rooms (both spacious and aplenty), line hallways connected in a square shape, allowing residents, especially those who are restless and wanderers, to walk around the building’s hallways safely. And those hallways this season, will be decorated to give that warm and cozy feeling the rest of us experience in stores and around the streets during this time of year.

The goal is to make things feel as normal as possible for the residents, which with a high-risk group in a deadly pandemic is a difficult feat for staff to tackle. But they take it in stride.

To date, none of the staff or residents have tested positive for COVID since the pandemic arrived here this past spring. This is largely due to a dedicated staff taking every sniffle, cough and ailment seriously and now, frequent testing, both normal testing as well as rapid testing. If the status for Michigan facilities drops in time for the holiday, because of rapid-testing, they would be able to test entertainers before they enter the premises. Although, the rate things are going, that idea may not have a chance to be utilized.

Some residents will be returning home to spend the holidays with their families. North Woods staff walk families through the care entailed for their loved one during the time they will be staying. Upon return, residents will be tested, and isolated from the rest of the community population for 14 days, while frequently tested to ensure the community’s safety. That same procedure is applied to new residents coming in as well.

The attention to detail Audie and her staff places into enriching their residents’ life is a true testament to the care North Woods provides, where not only health is concerned, but ensuring even they too, can create something special for this rather unpredictable holiday season to feel “like it always has,” even, if just for a moment.

The holidays are already a difficult time in general. If you are also struggling with deciding if it is time to put your loved one with dementia in care, that stress is magnified. Here are five key indicators Audie shares with families suggesting the next step toward required care beyond what you may be able to provide.

SIGNS YOUR LOVED ONE MAY REQUIRE MORE CARE

• Are they falling at all? What is the plan if they should fall and cannot get to the phone? How long would they be there before someone finds them?

• Are they known for elopement or being an escape artist? Do they wander and find themselves in odd places?

• Do they have adequate nutrition to maintain good health? Is their diet colorful and varied?

• Are they able to take their medications safely? If someone sets up their medications can you trust they take them when they need to, on the correct day?

• Are they clean enough to maintain good health? Do they don the same clothing? Soiled clothing? Odd smells? Hygiene is linked to good health for seniors.

Hobbies to Outwit Boredom

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 17:31:27 GMT

Hobbies to Outwit Boredom

By: Hannah Reuter

It is the end of 2020, and as we find ourselves more cooped up at home due to the colder weather and the pandemic, we’re bound to run out of things to do. To keep yourself occupied and entertained through the upcoming winter months, here are some hobbies to try to outwit the inevitable boredom to come.

CRAFTS

Stop at your nearest fabric store to pick up some needles this winter, because learning a crafting skill will not only challenge you mentally, but will also take care of your holiday gifts next year (unless you are a fast learner, you might be able to this year)! Whether attempting crocheting, knitting, sewing, or quilting

– pick the method that fits you best. Why buy hats, scarves, or even face coverings, when you can learn to make them in your own style for less? Grab your supplies, pop on a YouTube tutorial, and a whole world of unique crafts awaits.

ART

Painting with acrylics, watercolor, or oils; drawing with pencils, markers, pens, or pastels; sculpting with clay, wax, wood, or plastic – art can be made with anything you can think of to create. With endless possibilities, art has always been a fun way to keep the boredom away.

MUSIC

Learning an instrument can feel daunting, but it doesn’t have to be with the resources now available at our fingertips. If you are not quite dedicated enough to purchase an instrument, a lot of libraries and schools offer instrumental rentals for those deciding whether or not to take the plunge. Still iffy? Just ask a friend who plays to teach or lend you their instrument, most guitarists and musicians have a few handy – trust me! If you are not the instrumental type, try your hand at singing by downloading any number of tuning apps.

GAMES

Games, games, games! There are video games, board games, card, dice, or trivia games, and so many more. Learn a new game or get better with the ones you already know, play by yourself or have the family join in.

RECREATIONAL

If you don’t mind a little cold, pick up an outdoor hobby. With a multitude of parks and venues in our area, try cross-country skiing, sledding, snowboarding, or ice skating. If you prefer staying indoors during the winter months, sign up for online fitness classes, or find barre, yoga and Pilates tutorials on sites like YouTube to explore.

Hannah graduated from WMU in 2015 with a degree in Economics and currently resides in Portage. In her free time she enjoys strumming the guitar and painting. She is the author of two YA books under the pseudonym, H.B. Catherine. You can find information on her books and writing at hbcatherinewriting.com .

Staying Health & Bright

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 17:14:25 GMT

Staying Healthy and Bright

By: Dr. Marti Peters-Sparling

Questions abound as we head into flu season, now straddled with the added worry of COVID-19. How do you know if it is just a cold or something more serious? Can you get both the flu and COVID at the same time? Is a COVID vaccine coming? Will it be safe? Should I get a flu vaccine? Should I get it now? Or later? These are all valid concerns, and I’ve been getting many of these questions in my office lately. It doesn’t look like we will be rid of COVID-19 anytime soon, and it gets more confusing when cold and flu symptoms start appearing.

While allergies, cold, flu, and COVID-19 will all cause a cough, the

greatest differences are that a fever and chills rarely go along with a common cold; nasal symptoms and sore throat are more likely to be a cold or flu; while the loss of taste and/or smell

are common with COVID. Another important difference is that COVID-19 appears to spread much more easily, and can cause more severe symptoms than the flu.

Of course, a call to your primary care provider is always recommended if you are unsure, or if symptoms start to become more severe, especially if shortness of breath develops.

So, what about a vaccine? There have been some hopes of a vaccine becoming available soon. Even if one is approved quickly by the FDA, the ability for any company to create massive amounts

of it will be slow. And it will likely go to front-line workers and the high- risk population first. Will it be safe though, even when it is available to the general public? Recently (January 2020) a study was published that reported concerns about an association between flu vaccination and increased risk of contracting a coronavirus. It turns out this was not the COVID-19 coronavirus, but other strains of coronavirus from 2017-2018. The report was then reviewed and found to have flawed methods. Canadian researchers examined their own data in response, and found no increased risk of COVID-19 after flu vaccination.

Unfortunately, it is possible to get both the flu and COVID-19 at the same time. This double whammy would be devastating for anyone who already has any underlying medical conditions. I highly recommend getting a flu vaccine this year, if you haven’t already. The sooner the better!

Dr. Marti is a board certified Family Medicine physician and co-owner of an integrative Direct Primary Care wellness center, SWMI Health Matters. She has experience in all aspects of Family Medicine including preventative care, chronic disease management, meditation, and mindfulness. Dr. Peters-Sparling seeks to meet her patients wherever they are, without judgement or bias.

Santa Claus is Coming to The Crossroads

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 16:06:13 GMT

Santa Claus is Coming to

The Crossroads

By: Lalita Chemello

This year, with COVID-19 cases ramping up as we are all staying in more with the cooling weather, a favorite pastime and part of the Christmas holiday has had to adjust as well. This year, The Crossroads will have both live visits with Santa, and virtual visits for those not comfortable or able to visit Santa in person.

Christmas Present

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 15:15:24 GMT

Christmas Present

By: Kim Carson

I recently asked this question on-air and on Facebook:

When you think back to your favorite Christmas memory when you were a kid, is it a present?

An experience? Something else? Are there memories that immediately bubble up in your consciousness or does it take some time to try and remember something special about Christmas?

Even as an adult my Christmas memories are vivid, and circle all around my mom (my dad too). I remember making popcorn balls with Mom in our little kitchen in Detroit, cutting colorful construction paper into strips and making a pretty paper garland for the tree and sitting at the kitchen table making cutout Christmas cookies then sprinkling them with green and red colored sugar. And finally, once the tree was decorated my dad lifted me high so that I could place the pretty angel at the very top of the Christmas tree. Those memories still make me smile and are even more cherished now that dad has gone on to heaven. Here are a few of those favorite Christmas Memories (and presents) that were shared with me.

Rosie del Valle

"One year my parents decided to stay in Nebraska year-round for work. I was rather disappointed we weren’t back home in Texas with all my cousins and aunts and uncles, but I remember being so happy that we were at least, together as a family. I loved having lots of hot chocolate, blankets all over, and it was my very first white Christmas. My grandmother made tamales for the entire neighborhood and we took tamales to friends as we visited. What I loved the most in every Christmas memory was my grandmother’s warmth and how she made every place feel like home."

Kimberly Johnson

"My mom raised me as a single parent since my father left us before I was two years old. My grandparents were helpful, but my mom always wanted me to have a special Christmas each year.

This particular doll was out of her price range, but she didn’t let that stop her from making sure I had the best. She sacrificed often so that I never missed out. I still have all of the dolls, all in great condition as I wanted my mom to know that I appreciated all of her love and sacrifice for me. This is a photo of the first 'dolly' she ever gave me."

KariAnne Van Weelden

"My dad lost his job when I was 10. We had very little money. Christmas became a time of just being together. The best Christmas was when the ONLY thing I got was a comforter ... and I cherished it."

Taryn Brenneman

"Experience. My three sisters would gather in my room in the middle of the night and we would go two-

by-two downstairs to check out the presents. We would tape X’s on the stairs the night before where the wood made a creaking sound so my parents wouldn’t wake up. My dad would always change all the X’s around."

Michelle Bates-Phipps

"It is the traditions that we grew into as a family. Fruit in our stockings so we had a nutritious breakfast before we dug into the candy and chocolate that were also in there. Being able to open one present on Christmas Eve and spending the majority of Christmas Day with my Granny and all the family. I long for those days!"

Shannon Burgess

"Experience. My dad worked at the Muskegon paper mill. The company rented the L.C. Walker arena and hired talent for a Christmas show with of course Santa appearing at the end. Every child received a gift. One year I picked a doll (Mrs. Beasley). Another year I selected a saucer (the good metal ones). The best part was our family all going together ... no fighting ... no bickering ... five girls you know!"

Tom Weschler

"It’s all of it! Christmas morning 1963, after getting in late from midnight Mass I rolled out early and under the tree was a box that read: 'Open me first.' It was a Kodak Super 27 camera, that went on to

be my go-to camera for my series of photographs of my TV, with The Beatles on ‘The Ed Sullivan Show.’ It made my day and my life."

*Note: Tom went on to become a famous rock- and-roll photographer who documented musical history via photographs for over 40 years.

Dawn Vaculik

"Definitely an experience. I barely remember the gifts. But I remember the feeling of Christmas, waiting for my grandparents to arrive, the food, the endless hours spent opening gifts (mom over-did it) a puzzle being worked on, a marathon Monopoly game being left as-is. The year we dressed up to go out to dinner on Christmas Eve. I loved Christmas. Still do."

As memories fade over the years, it appears we can still recall some of those extra special experiences that made a lasting imprint on us. So, as you go about trying to make Christmas perfect in every way, do not lose sight of the fact that being present in the moment while making memories with those you love will actually be the most memorable part of Christmas.

Wishing you and yours the very best this holiday season. - Kim Carson

Kim Carson - Kim is an Author/Radio/TV/Internet personality living in Southwest Michigan. Listen to her 5-10am on FM106.5, watch her on WGVU TV and learn more at www.kimcarson.online . Kim loves cats, calls her mom her best friend, enjoys hiking, farmers markets, photography and interviewing people because we all have a story to tell.

Oh, I May Have Fell, For Kalamazoo

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:25 GMT

Kalamazoo for the longest time, to me, was singing to myself, “K-A-L-A-M-A-Z-O-O, Oh I’ve got a gal, in Kalamazoo,” any time I heard or read the name. I had played it in our Jazz Show for marching band my senior year of high school, and that was about what I knew. I did eventually travel here a couple of times to a long-gone venue to see a few of my favorite bands (the last one was to see MeWithoutYou). And my best friend went to Western (I was at Central at the time), so we would trade off visiting one-another. We would come to find out, Western fans are nicer to Central fans (go figure).

Two years ago, this month, an opportunity arose, the stars aligned, and throw in a bit of a love story too, and well, here I am, in Kalamazoo. And of course, I have outgrown singing the song in my head every time I hear the name (now it is only occasionally), and I have found myself slowly becoming a Bronco fan as well.

As you know from my bio, I was born and raised on the east side in the Detroit area, and spent the first three decades of my life there. In comparison to Kalamazoo, it is an entirely different world. My only aids in discovering the Kalamazoo area and what it has to offer were truly through my work here at the magazine, and the two jobs I’ve had otherwise. And I was able to expand my mental “map” of the area further by reconnecting with friends living here and adventures my wanderlust boyfriend and I embarked on. Luckily now, I can get to places without Google Maps!

I have found the people here are nicer—more laid back. People take time to chat and say hello. There’s a community aspect I’m not sure I have ever come across in my former residences that is something unmatched and admirable. The stories I have come across — the way people have come together to help (even in the pandemic, like my Green Door Distillery article), is just truly a unique and remarkable thing. I spent most of my life existing in this hustle world of focusing on one’s self, or rather the “every man for himself,” attitude, severely lacking thank yous, how are yous, and genuine chats. But in Kalamazoo, I receive them quite frequently.

And odd thing is, when I encounter a former east-sider in the Kalamazoo wilds, they agree.

You are a rare place, and I am sure somewhere out there are others like you, but out of the I believe now 20+ cities in Michigan I have lived in, none of them truly compare, even close. Sure, there is still discord here, and maybe some areas are not the nicest of places, and I mean, my neighbors are in a near full-out war over black walnuts and property lines (there are trespassing signs involved now), but overall, you are friendly. Welcoming. Illustrious. Embracing.

Sure, I do get homesick, and miss living near my family, especially after all we’ve been through in my time of living here, but I love it. Your community and you as readers have taken me in and really shared with me this great place to live. A place I’m proud to be a part of. A place where when I have people first ask me why I’m here, and tell me I need to move back, I let them know: I’m good here.

So, a “thank you,” people of Kalamazoo, for being so welcoming these last two years. And thank you, for making an incredible place to live — one I think I would like to stick around and enjoy for a while. And I hope, with my little note of thanks, you remember why you love being here too.

Nail That Interview

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:21 GMT

Whether you are looking to advance your career or need to replace a position you lost, to interview successfully you need a plan to build self-confidence, grow a supportive mindset and develop your professional presence. Although the numbers of U.S. jobs lost have been deeply distressing, CNN Business states that companies are still hiring thousands of new employees to keep up with the shifting economy. There ARE or WILL BE new positions to apply and interview for.

Once you’ve secured the all-important interview, don’t blow it just because you didn’t have a strategy to effectively present yourself and showcase your talents. Perhaps you are like Cindy, a client who came to me looking to set herself apart from another in-house individual with sights on the same position; he had the credentials and years of experience to back him as a strong candidate. With fine-tuned guidance on soft skills and a boost to her inner confidence, Cindy’s strong skill set and talents showed through and the position was awarded to her.

Or your scenario might be like John’s, who was preparing for phone and virtual interviews. By refining succinct replies to commonly asked questions, defining appropriate attire and surroundings for virtual interviewing, and adjusting his defeating self-talk, he was able to focus on the interview itself. The process aligned his mindset and nonverbal communication to better support a confident, poised delivery during the interview process, leading to an onsite interview.

Get out of your own way

Your mindset and thinking are your foundation to a successful interview. It takes work, but ridding yourself of self-doubt and negative internal conversations is a must. This head chatter can happen anytime, but it usually occurs when you are out of your comfort zone or in stressful situations — like during an interview. It is crucial to get a grip on this and turn your mind and self around with positive internal dialog. This can be calm and reassuring, such as “I’m confident that I’m as good as my competition.” Or you can tell yourself something simple like “You’ve got this!” When aligning your inner voice, recognize that beliefs don’t always equal truth. We can be hard on ourselves. Is what you are telling yourself really the truth?

Develop your presence intelligence

You are your own best resource for effective interviewing. If you have made it to an interview, your interviewer(s) wants to see, observe and experience you. YOU alone can set yourself apart from all the others with the same education, talent and skills. Do you fit the culture? Do your strengths align? Do you look and act the part? Take the time. Hire a coach. Do what you need to do to discover what will trip you up in presenting yourself well during the interview process. Define what will allow you to positively stand out. Developing your “presence intelligence” will allow you to shine, make it to the next round and ultimately secure the offer.

How to develop your interview-ready presence intelligence…

Create a strong awareness of self in how you communicate verbally and nonverbally, how you listen, and how you look, carry yourself and think. Perfect yourself for the audience you will be interviewing with.

Get in the know. Appear as an expert and be aware of all that you can. Take the time to research the job, company and culture of the organization you are interviewing with.

Define what you are most proud of in accomplishments and strengths. Develop 3-5 well-articulated sound bites that best highlight the value you bring.

Practice makes perfect, but not in your head. Practice out loud, even if it seems awkward.

P ractice in “like” conditions for the interview you are preparing for (e.g., in-person, phone, video).

Set the “day of” tone with a strategy to align your mindset and routine for the interview ahead.

Today’s interviews come in a variety of formats and sequences: phone, video conference, onsite in single or panel format, formal to informal or a combination approach. Having a strategy to effectively present and position yourself in all of these situations will not only raise your confidence, but increase the odds of hearing, “ Our next step is… ”

A Letter About Letting Go

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:20 GMT

Dear Friend,

Letting go is difficult isn’t it? Letting go of fear. Letting go of anger. Letting go of hurt feelings. Letting go of the dream … Letting go can be so complicated, whether it is the loss of a parent, spouse, child, pet, friend or significant other, loss is never easy to transition through and it is not meant to be fast or easy. You’re dealing with the loss connection—two spirits wrapped up in skin previously connected on Earth now separated by the physical and spiritual worlds. So, when you decide to finally process that newfound space: your loss—sit with it. Feel it, one moment at a time, allowing waves of emotion to wash over you as your aching heart expresses itself through your trembling and flowing tears one moment, and memories that bring smiles the next.

Yes, there will be friends and loved ones who, not knowing any better and not knowing what to do with your pain will try and rush you through your feelings by saying things like, “It’s time to move on,” as if processing grief had an itinerary. This “encouragement” simply reveals who they really are, because your pain is making them feel so uncomfortable, they just want you to get over it so you can go back to being you, and allowing them to feel comfortable again.

The grieving process is as unique as your fingerprints. Another person cannot possibly know how quickly you should move through your particular loss. It is why a support group of strangers can sometimes be so helpful in your process. The strangers are not there to rush you through anything. Friends and family can often want you to swiftly return to the normal they remember. But others, like you, who have experienced loss have more compassion, as they too are feeling that similar daze of emptiness and emotion you are struggling with. And there is healing in sharing memories of our loved one with others, as it somehow keeps the spirit alive. So, think about it, okay?

But, how do you more easily let go and move on from someone who has been a part of your life and has touched you profoundly in the deepest of ways? You don’t. My friend Dr. Matthew Clark (Dr. Matt) says it’s not about forgetting, it’s about remembering. “We need to remember our mutual love for each other, times spent together, and lessons learned from each other.” You can also share those memories with good listeners who you connect with and who understand.

But I also wonder, what about letting go of a loss that stems from betrayal, as that’s difficult to let go of too. Dr. Matt says, “Ask yourself if there is a way to have any empathy for the person or attempt to understand them, while keeping healthy boundaries with him or her, in order to not allow yourself to be abused, hurt or taken advantage of in the future.” Violations can be composed of hundreds of little indiscretions, expressing themselves through hurt, fear, anger, disappointment, or even revenge, all in the name of something that we should be “letting go” of.

So, what ensnares us and keeps us trapped in this rut? What are we actually losing if we leave? What is it that allows someone to tolerate disrespect and blurred boundaries? Dr. Matt says, “Sometimes in life we dwell on the good things of a job or relationship we know we should leave. We justify it by rationalizing that we have a few friends there, it’s secure and familiar, it’s a comfortable rut. So why then is it so difficult to end something even when we are not happy, even when a new opportunity presents itself, why does it still feel scary? If we dwell on the negative and the what-ifs in life, we will miss out on opportunities. This can apply to relationships also. We might dwell on the positives of staying, we might feel comfortable in this relationship that is not good for us because it feels known or familiar, maybe it is similar to what we experienced as children. But if we take that risk and end the relationship, we may find a person out there that is a better fit for us or experience living life independently for the time being. Both are worth leaving a relationship we know that we should leave and trusting we will find what is better for us in the long run.”

The world can beat you up, so be kind to yourself. The upcoming holidays can be tough. Yes, they are a time of joy for many, but the holidays can also be a reminder of something or someone missing. So, as you reflect on the past year, take in everything the present has to offer because it truly is a “present.” With great expectations and anticipation, move calmly and confidently into the upcoming year taking hold of the wheel of life and steering yourself into the best future and the best you that you can be. Don’t be afraid to grow. This coming year, vow to let go of something that is not healthy for you. Take the steps that allow you to let go, and make room for something new and healthier to come into your life.

Your friend,

Kim

Thanks to Dr. Matthew Clark from the Clark Institute in Grand Rapids for his wise words of wisdom.

Loss Support Group-Virtual

www.hospiceswmi.org/our-services/grief-support/supportive-drop-in-groups

Reading Resources

www.langelands.com/grief-support-resources

GriefShare In Person/Online

www.griefshare.org/countries/us/states/mi/cities/kalamazoo

Pet Loss Resources

www.pet-loss.net/resources/MI.shtml

Spirits in the Time of a Pandemic: A Green Door Distilling Story

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:19 GMT

Tucked away in a delightfully shaded, quiet corner of Downtown Kalamazoo, and just a stone’s throw from PFC Natural Grocery & Deli, is a little old building, with a large (much newer-looking) addition adorned with a giant green garage door. You may not realize it, but the door is the giveaway to its namesake: Green Door Distilling Co..

Founded in 2014 by Josh Cook and Jon Good, the distillery is known for their spirits like whiskey, gin, honey whiskey (with local honey) and an award-winning vodka. And at this point in time is the largest still within 100 miles. Adding a unique approach to their bar and drinks, they have mixologists on staff handcrafting menu drinks with the most local, or in some cases, exotic ingredients, some they even pull from their little garden in their outdoor area (the basil was beyond exquisite to smell the day I visited). It’s a place dedicated to flavors and the quality of something simple, while trying to keep as local with ingredients as possible. They are all truly dedicated to the craft.

Things quickly changed for the distillery this year when COVID-19 hit.

Like many other service-oriented institutions in the Kalamazoo area, GDD had shut down due to the state’s orders in mid-March of this year. And when they shut down, it quickly became an incredibly crucial time to figure out what to do with their business, along with how to take care of their employees.

Meanwhile the nation was facing a national shortage of a lot of things, including hand sanitizer. As hand sanitizer is part alcohol, GDD saw an opportunity to help, and once Michigan regulatory bodies gave the thumbs up, it was time to contribute.

The effort was truly a community action, something honestly notable of the Kalamazoo area. A local brewery donated their stale beer to GDD to use for the sanitizer efforts, helping speed up the process of creating denatured alcohol for sanitizing ingredients on their end as well, and other businesses would chip in for bottles, labels and more.

A first batch of 3,000 bottles of “ Green Door Distilling Co. Hand Sanitizer ” made its way to different areas around town, focusing on essential services, like hospitals, and at-risk businesses as well. Bronson and Meals on Wheels were just a few of the many beneficiaries of their new product.

The same handcrafted care employees put into their drinks went into every bottle of hand sanitizer. Everyone was happy to contribute and help out, but also have a way to stay afloat financially. And GDD did put in the effort to try and keep their employees taken care of through the shutdown with a little extra money provided through an online fundraiser of which owner’s matched.

Jake Lenz, a Mixololgist at GDD , had only been with the distillery a few months before things closed. Due to the nature of his start date, and Michigan’s unemployment rules at the time, he was initially denied unemployment, and was unsure and quite nervous about what his next step would be. But the production of the hand sanitizer granted him enough stability that unemployment wasn’t needed.

“Josh came up with the sanitizer thing, and I started working 40 hours a week. I had three weeks where I did 60 hours. And it was just like, a blessing in disguise. Everything was shut down, but I was working more hours now than I was before. I was able to get by … and help out in any way I could. I don’t know where I would have been had I not had this job.”

Jake on his own was responsible for nearly 10,000 bottles of hand sanitizer that would be distributed or purchased, not only in the area, but to different states. People would even travel just to get the sanitizer.

In June, restrictions would ease on establishments, and GDD had a new challenge to face: reopening.

Their Tasting Room General Manager, Matt Gaipa, had quite the challenge coming into his new role during the pandemic, all coinciding with the time of their true reopening to the public.

“A pandemic is not something you really plan for. The problem too is just everything rapidly changes. I do a lot of reading basically every week. I check CDC guidelines, things like that. I try to use all the recommended cleaners. The challenge is just keeping people safe while still having a fun environment as well.”

And their other major task aside from keeping their patrons and staff safe was, “How do we keep it fun?”

Things have eased a bit for the distillery as things have opened up a little more. During the warmer months, they embraced a quaint, but seriously socially-distanced “garden” seating area — with tables quite distanced (beyond the six-feet recommendation) from one-another and a cute little stand outside the tasting room designated as an area for drink orders, as patrons were not allowed in the facility. In September they opened limited indoor seating (as Michigan legislation still limits those numbers), with outdoor music and a limited Jazz brunch offering.

A curbside service also allows patrons interested in a bottle of any of their spirits from the Barrier Ridge Bourbon to their award-winning Get Lost Vodka , purchase without risking themselves

or employees.

As they’ve opened the indoor portion, large plastic guards (like many other businesses) stand tall around portions of the bar to keep the mixologists protected, and the capacity is still naturally lower than it would normally be, but it is all in the name of protection, safety, and of course, still keeping it fun.

It is beyond a trial to get through everything changing in this pandemic, especially in the service industry, as every open drink and downed mask is a risk, but GDD has successfully taken it on, one day at a time, adjusting as rules change and working hard in ensuring the safety of their visitors and employees.

As we enter the more chilled days, GDD ’s Facebook is already decorated with cozy fall drinks awaiting to warm you up and satisfy your tasting pleasures — safely. At the time this was written, Green Door Distilling Co. is currently opened Thursday and Friday, 5-9 p.m., and Saturday, 3-9 p.m.

Be sure to stay tuned as new spirits and flavors are to debut this holiday season.

Join the Adventure

What is Avoidance Costing You?

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:17 GMT

Difficult emotions and distressing thoughts aren’t exactly what we hope to spend our time thinking about every day.

It is very natural to want to avoid or delay thinking about them so we don’t have to deal with the discomfort they can bring up. We often say we don’t have time or other resources to deal with them. That may feel very true depending how long we’ve been avoiding them and likely, avoiding them feels like the “normal” or “natural” way to deal with them.

Many of us have been able to avoid emotional difficulties around family, friends, the public, leaving home in “real” clothing, and eating around others. With the holidays around the corner, it may be a good time to consider what the cost of avoiding dealing with these thoughts and emotions has been for you. In the long run, avoiding difficult thoughts and emotions does not bode well for our mental health and only helps them to grow and take over more of our happiness.

There are a number of thinking strategies that we use to avoid painful emotions or thoughts. Understanding them and identifying which ones we use helps us become more aware of when we use them as an avoidance tactic. Some of the most common are blaming (yourself, others, the world), over-analyzing (yourself, the situation, others), and imagining (escaping, revenge, suicide). Worrying, dwelling, or fantasizing are also common thinking strategies. We may also try to distract ourselves with substances or food. We are not always aware of when we are using these, yet they appear helpful in the moment. See if you can pick out your top three go-to thinking strategies for avoiding dealing with a tough emotion or situation.

Consider now the thoughts or feelings you would most like to be rid of. Maybe it is a pain or sensation in your body that you have been avoiding and would like to see go away. Perhaps you are thinking of a traumatic memory from a long time ago. Anything counts if you have been avoiding it.

Next, list or think about all of the ways you have tried to avoid these unpleasant thoughts, feelings, sensations or memories. Refer back to the thinking strategies listed above. Did you use one of the top three that you previously identified? Can you identify any trends in how you use avoidance as a coping skill?

Now, consider if any of these strategies eliminated your painful thoughts and feelings in the long term. Has avoiding brought you to a more connected and meaningful life experience? Likely, the answer is no. Now the challenge is to ask yourself, what has this avoidance cost me? Time, energy, relationships, money, authenticism, values, career, or opportunities may come to mind. Avoiding may bring short-term relief, but never truly addresses the underlying problem.

Finally, we need to make room for different strategies by letting go of the ones that fail to serve us. Which strategy are you willing to let go because you can identify it has not worked? What uncomfortable emotion or memory can you make room for, knowing it will help in the long run? What have you attempted to control that you can now greet head-on? Focus on what you want out of this (ex. inner peace) rather than what you feel like you need to hang on to.

Acknowledging that we all have tough emotions and difficult thoughts that we are struggling with is a compassionate place to start on this journey. No one is exempt from this suffering. We do all, however, have the opportunity to reclaim what avoiding has cost us.

Finding Happiness at Home this Holiday

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:17 GMT

We all look forward to time off work, and the holidays are no exception. Whether it is resting at home, spending time with relatives, or relaxing at a getaway retreat—it is the time we usually need to rejuvenate ourselves for the work we have ahead. Although, this year, many of us are choosing to stay home to avoid the added stress of traveling, in addition to the continued pandemic.

If you are one of the many staying home, it doesn’t have to be a boring or typical day in the books. It is still possible to find your happiness at home! Here are some serotonin-boosting activities to discover that inner vacation without leaving your house.

Edible Outdoor Decor

Do you enjoy watching wildlife? Try your hand at making edible outdoor decorations! Then, sit back, grab some hot cocoa, and watch the wildlife come to life just outside your door. It can be as simple as purchasing corn, seeds, popcorn and a little string—add a little creativity and construct the best wildlife-attracting décor for your trees or ledge. It is also a great way to help deer, birds, and squirrels for the upcoming winter.

Connect with Your Family

If you have been looking forward to seeing your extended family, you can still do so, and have a good time while you’re at it. Grab your phone or computer and download one of the many apps available for fun facetime ideas. Try House Party to play drinking games, card games, or trivia with the whole gang. Not a gaming family? Watch a movie “together” by turning it on at the same time and staying on the phone to chat about the details. Being apart doesn’t have to mean not seeing each other.

Experiment with Food Favorites

Be your own chef! Fix up your favorite meals and treats with new additions. Try your hand at making your own pizza or adding some funky toppings. Anyone dare to try the pickle and pineapple pizza? You can apply the same experimental finesse on tacos, loaded nachos, sweet treats, or anything else you dare to spice up.

Dinner and a Movie, in

You’re never too old for a couch fort. Utilize your chairs, sheets, blankets and pillows to turn your living room into a masterpiece of nostalgia. If you are really feeling this childhood dream, drag out your mattress for an evening camping adventure. Order some delivery at a local spot and snuggle up for the night.

Spa Day

Options are limitless for this one and all will leave you feeling refreshed. Try some DIY face masks. Add bath salts and bubbles to a hot tub of water to sink and relax in. Do a moisturizing treatment. Give yourself a pedicure and manicure. Or give that juice detox you have been thinking about a try. Everyone needs a little TLC, so treat yourself.

Things may be a little different going into the holiday, but there is always a way to make everyday a little better, no matter where you are or who you are with. So, smile, and find that inner happiness in the everyday.

Helping You Get to the Best You at Parkway Plastic Surgery

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:16 GMT

Supple, more youthful-looking skin. Breast reductions. Body Contouring. Breast reconstruction. Repair of traumatic injuries. These are just some of the goals of care addressed at Parkway Plastic Surgery. It is more than just what are the typical procedures associated with plastic surgery in the stereotypical commercial plastic surgery world — they provide tools and advice to help you achieve a better, healthier, radiant you.

With over 70 years combined in their fields, both Dr. Steven Nitsch, plastic surgeon, and Julie Powell, aesthetician and skin care specialist, are the leaders of a team of providers here to give you advice and assist you in your endeavors to be your best self. Whether skin care or surgical procedures, there is a combined focus on the essentials of quality client care from consultation through procedure, and recovery, ensuring a superlative experience and the best in personal care.

Steven M. Nitsch, MD, Comprehensive Plastic Surgical Care

As a board-certified plastic surgeon, Dr. Nitsch is here because he enjoys what he does and the difference it makes in the lives of his patients. The spontaneous visit to the office from previous patients to thank him for an excellent outcome, remind him of his unique opportunity to help others with surgery. The smiles from satisfied patients never dulls. He recognizes that transparency and honesty are needed in the relationship with his patients so they can be comfortable and confident about a surgical procedure. From the initial examination and consultation explaining the procedure and its risks, benefits and costs through surgery to follow-up, it all adds up to an informed patient working with an understanding surgeon and allows for unparalleled outcomes in the healthcare experience.

Consistent care and availability for questions or concerns are cornerstones of quality care and paramount in the Parkway Plastic Surgery office. Dr. Nitsch is part of the direct communication, which is available 24 hours a day for evaluation of any concerns following surgery or procedures. Flexibility of care schedules allows for minimal disruption in patient schedules if concerns arise and every attempt is made to avoid hospital or emergency room visits.

Favorite Procedures: Maxillofacial trauma and breast reductions. Most breast reductions are life-changing experiences — they can have a different lifestyle, wardrobe, activity — they even become more outgoing because they no longer hide their chest. They can move!

Years in the Industry: 35 years

Home Life: Married 44 years, 3 kids

Outside of Work: Enjoys flying (has been for 15 years), hiking, biking, camping, RV travel, gardening, hunting, fishing, kayaking—most anything that keeps him outdoors.

“The most rewarding things are the smaller things.”

Julie Powell, Certified Laser Technician, Skin Care Specialist

Julie’s first love is skin care. Her joy lies in seeing her clients’ expressions as they watch their skin continue to improve after treatments. It is that elation, combined with their renewed self-confidence that keeps her incredibly passionate about her work in the skin care field.

Clients start with a complimentary consult to help clients address skin care concerns and provide them with the best possible solution. As a certified Cosmetologist, Certified Skin Care Specialist and Certified Laser Technician, she offers skin care treatments such as micro-needling, CoolSculpting®, Fraxel, Thermage® and other specialty skin treatments.

She’s been practicing skin care and cosmetic treatments for nearly 32 years, having run her own business for 10 years in 1989 before practicing under other plastic surgeons and a dermatologist. Her path led her to practicing under Dr. Nitsch at Parkway for the last 10 years, working on everything from rejuvenating skin to helping revive sun-damaged skin. Her goal is to help you maintain healthy, radiant skin.

Favorite Procedures: Running the machines — you can see results faster and the technology is truly amazing. That and clients are happier, seeing their skin improving over time. “It’s amazing to me in my 31 years of doing skin care how much we’ve advanced — from only doing facials in the beginning to now using machines to enhance and help reduce some sun-damaged skin.”

Years in the Industry: 31 years

Home Life: One daughter (who does marketing for Whole Foods!)

Outside of Work: Being outside as much as weather permits, especially in the summer. She never forgets to bring along the sunscreen — the most important skin care product you can use. Outdoor activities include fishing, boating, lake Michigan, family summer cottage up north, working in the flower gardens, taking walks, being with friends (when it’s appropriate to again), road trips and traveling.

“I want people to know they can feel confident in choosing us for their skin care concerns, because of our years of experience, knowledge and caring for our clients. I always want them to feel comfortable in discussing their concerns with me.”

Exploration of a COVID Rorschach

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:15 GMT

Tell me, what do you see?

Near the dawn of the COVID-19 lockdown, Brenda Fettig Murphy found herself bored rather quickly. Having watching just about everything she could watch via stream, her boredom and cabin fever drove her to begin spending time in her studio to create — resulting in a creative outlet for Murphy’s frustration in being severely couped up. Eyes closed, pencil set to paper she would draw ‘til she stopped. With an array of mixed media including pens and markers, she colored her creation in to fill the gaps of her own interpretation.

The completed work made its very first appearance on her Facebook and Instagram, asking followers to share what they saw in what she deems her “squiggles.” The response, was surprising, with followers approaching the drawings much like a Rorschach image … the depictions quite varied among participants. So intrigued by the response, while enjoying the interaction with her followers, Brenda continued the project, posting her drawings near daily through the first parts of the pandemic.

Realizing she had enough work she could share in a different form of medium, Brenda compiled a selection of pieces into a book, Squiggling Thru COVID-19: How this Artist Kept from Going Nuts during the Pandemic! The 42-page book shares Brenda’s thoughts and process going into the creations, as well as favorite interpretations of her work as coined by her followers. A favorite of this writer’s? “Day 43” ( Murphy captions it, “I had a REALLY bad day.”—of which one could easily relate. ) The final three pages are allotted to create your own “squiggle” drawings as well, encouraging you to pick up a pencil and create a little art yourself.

Brenda’s book can be purchased on Amazon for you and yours to be entertained and inspired. You can also follow her book and other art on her Facebook page at Brenda Murphy Art .

Restaurant Review: Lucky Rooster

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:13 GMT

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Is There an Upside to This Year?

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:12 GMT

With circumstances beyond her control, the businesswoman temporarily closed her shop. When she was finally able to re-open, it came with so many restrictions and she contemplated whether it was even worth keeping her doors open. Masks, social distancing, late shipments, payroll …. To say the least, 2020 has been a rollercoaster that traveled in only one direction … down. With so many stories such as this, it might be easy to wish this year away and hope that on January 1st, 2021, we all wake up from what we can collectively call, “a year that sucked.”

But as I walked through my neighborhood this past autumn, a family pedaled past me, and the young boy laughed at his sister who was proudly riding a bike just recently void of training wheels. As I passed a house, I pick up a tomato from a table set in the front yard. On the small stand read a sign, "Please take one." An elderly gentleman waved to me from his front porch as I continued my walk.

This is 2020. Good or bad, it has changed us all. While I don’t pretend it hasn’t come without serious consequences, it also came with a positive wave that we cannot ignore. We are strong, and we can and will grow from a global event that has knocked us off our feet.

One only needs to look at the local bicycle shop, where bikes flew out the door this summer as people reconnected with nature — embracing the simple enjoyment of riding a bike as a family activity. And home improvement stores exploded with customers deciding that this was as good a time as any to finally add the deck, redo the bathroom, or put in the garden they had been talking about doing for years.

As I set down my rose-colored glasses, I can still see the upside to 2020.

This is the year Heather Dombos took her magazine in an exciting new direction—launching Moxie Magazine.

This is the year families rediscovered their local golf course, introducing their children to an outdoor activity that had been on the decline in recent years.

This is the year neighbors reconnected, setting up chairs on the front porch and actually sitting in those chairs.

This is the year we have a strong female VP candidate on a major ticket. (Let’s hope we get this one right.)

This is the year many people found time to pick up a book again, and discovered the delightfully quirky “Schitt’s Creek” or enjoyed binge-watching all seven seasons of “The West Wing” on Netflix.

This is the year many women found their roots — literally. And decided to celebrate their natural grey.

Perhaps, as we look back, we can say, “I lived through 2020 and I’m a better person for it.”

Here’s to 2021. Let’s all hope it’s a little less … surprising.

Sitting With the Grace of Thanksgiving

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:11 GMT

Whenever I think of November, I think of trees changing colors, crisp autumn breezes, cozy sweaters, hot drinks…and gratitude — giving thanks for the blessings of the season at tables laden with food and surrounded by their family in celebration of Thanksgiving.

However, for many this season will be very different. Some families are choosing not to gather to protect vulnerable members from COVID. Empty chairs around the dinner table honor loved ones lost to COVID, suicide, overdose and many other misfortunes. Many families have suffered significant financial losses — facing the terror of unemployment, unpaid bills and eviction. Political discord escalates, leaving many feeling disgusted and overwhelmed.

In the face of such darkness, how can we be grateful?

Learning to embrace a gratitude practice is not about denying the reality of human pain and suffering. It’s about learning how to sit with what is scary and uncomfortable, and choosing to rise. Once we explore the shadow aspects of being human, we discover that we can transcend the limitations of the Ego.

The Ego is the part of consciousness that drives physical survival. It is fear-based, selfish, competitive and ridden with anxiety, rooted in scarcity and lack — this belief that there is never enough. When the body feels fear and pain, it is only natural that the Ego reacts with urgency and desperation. The Ego craves SAFETY, and much of 2020 has been anything but.

Through awareness, we can learn to identify the Ego and choose to soften into love and compassion, and making a conscious decision to choose LOVE and GRATITUDE. It is a practice, and it is never perfect. Remember, perfection does not exist. Some days are easier than others.

By validating this experience, we can choose to soften into self-compassion. As we learn to create the space we need, we can tend to the needs of our being, soothing the Ego and awakening out of the nightmarish, dystopian life experience. Healing happens: First with the self, then with our communities.

As we learn to see our community’s loss, fear and grief, hearts open to kindness, gentleness and appreciation. Times of tragedy and massive change remind us of the fragility of life and how precious each person truly is. We awaken out of the slumber of the mundane and start cherishing every moment we are given.

Look around, there is always something or someone to appreciate: the beauty of nature, your favorite song, a deep and cleansing breath, a new day to try again, a random act of kindness .... You can choose who you want to be in each experience.

With practice, you can further choose to create space and ask, “What would Love do?” You will know it’s Love because Love heals. Love is a resonant frequency that is universally recognized. It dissolves fear while inspiring courage, strength and wisdom. Love serves the Highest Good, and there is always enough — enough to quiet the Ego with its safety.

And for that, I am so very grateful.

Seniors Seeking Pen Pals

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:09 GMT

Due to the COVID-19 outbreak, many of our elderly have been left isolated from the community. Although, this didn’t stop the Plainwell Life Care Center from searching for a safe and creative way to bring the community to them by linking them with people to write letters.

The statewide lockdown has been hard on the seniors, many of whom have not been able to see their loved ones or engage with others outside of the center. Even with the programs and fun distractions, the staff at Plainwell knew they wanted more for their residents’ happiness. Forming connections are an important part of who we are and in this fragile time, we need that more than ever.

Staff directors, Tyler Connors and Brittany Zeman, came up with the pen pal plan prior to the pandemic, not realizing how necessary it would become when visitations were put on hold for safety precautions during the height of the pandemic. Even as outdoor visitation was again permitted, they desired another alternative to help their patrons remain connected.

At first, only a few were interested in participating in the program and those individual’s photos were posted on the center’s social media with the topics they enjoyed discussing. Now over 50 people from the center are looking for writing buddies — and age doesn’t matter. Their interests are wide-ranging and the conversations they desire diverse, from church enjoyment to the outdoorsy and music loving.

Does this sound like something you would enjoy? For those interested in writing to someone from the Plainwell Life Care Center, the address is provided below. If you want more details regarding whom to write your letter to or what gifts to send, call Brittany at (269) 685-4325. She will be happy to discuss what the residents desire from their pen pals. They also have a Facebook page available and a contact form on their website, lifecarecenterofplainwell.com.

COVID has been tough on everyone; especially people with limited options, like our senior citizens and those with medical problems that are more susceptible to the disease. We all require human connection and interaction, and in a time like this, it is important to come together in any way we can.

So, pick up a pen and write your letter to a future friend.

Plainwell Life Care Center

320 Brigham Street

Plainwell, MI 49080

5 Best Spots for Your Morning Brew in Kalamazoo

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:08 GMT

Fall is in the air, making it the perfect time of year to cozy up with an espresso or pumpkin spice latte at one of our many coffee shops around Kalamazoo. While Kalamazoo is especially known as a craft beer town, it is quickly becoming known for its craft coffee as well.

1-Something’s Brewing

The first to stand out is Kalamazoo’s first and oldest coffee shop, Something’s Brewing. Located in downtown Kalamazoo, it is perfect walking distance to the Kalamazoo Mall to walk while sipping your brew. If you choose to stay and visit, they have cozy space by the window or the back of the shop. Something’s Brewing was first opened in 1984 and is still in the original location, with a few updates on the décor. They offer some unique craft java drinks from their WhatchaMintCall-It with chocolate, peanut butter, and mint to your traditional mocha or caramel latte.

2-Walnut & Park Cafe

As their website states, there is a lot more to Walnut & Park than a rich batch of brew or a fresh blueberry muffin. Their story begins with the people behind the espresso machine. Most of Walnut & Park employees are residents of KPEP, an innovative community corrections provider based here in Kalamazoo. The men and women who prepare the lattes, cinnamon rolls, sandwiches and salads are students or graduates of the KPEP culinary arts program — a vocational program developed in partnership with Canteen Services and the Michigan Career & Technical Institute. After a 10-week training program, men and women who have been incarcerated are equipped with the job skills they need to help turn their lives around, live independently and contribute to the community. How awesome is that?

3-Factory Coffee

Factory Coffee is a small, family-owned coffee roastery and café. They roast their coffee right here at home with a zero-emissions roaster, reducing the carbon footprint of every pound of coffee by 90%! With over 20 years of coffee experience, Factory Coffee strives to offer the highest quality coffee possible. You can visit their original location with still-lingering industrial vibes and a unique look.

Factory Coffee also offers food options including waffles on

a stick, breakfast sandwiches and a lunch special using biscuit and bread baked by

The Victorian Bakery. You can also find their coffee at local farmers markets, and now at their coffee bar located inside the PFC Grocery store. For the extreme of coffee lovers, you can get a monthly subscription of three 12 oz bags delivered to your doorstep every month. To find their locations and see available subscriptions, visit their website at www.factorycoffee.com.

4-Water Street Coffee

A staple here in Kalamazoo and Portage, Water Street Coffee offers more than just great coffee. Variety is key as they prepare an amazing breakfast and lunch menu, and in the evening, cocktails. Each location offers house-roasted coffee, a full espresso bar, loose-leaf tea, shakes, smoothies and homemade food. And as fall is in the air, Water Street is now offering their fan-favorite Sweet Potato Pumpkin Turnover, as well as new additions like their Pumpkin Cream Cheese Mini Coffee Cake, Fall Harvest Salad, Salted Caramel Coconut Macaron and much more!

5-Rose Gold Coffee Company

This is another shop you will not want to miss downtown (and it is within walking distance to the Kalamazoo Mall). The owners think coffee needs a new ‘flavor,’ if you will, in Kalamazoo. There are a lot of shops that have been here for a long time and stayed the same. Rose Gold wanted to take a step forward into modern coffee and try new things.

Rose Gold Coffee serves pour-overs and filtered coffees, manual brews and hand-crafted espressos using freshly roasted coffee beans from Pittsburgh-based Commonplace Coffee Company and Michigan-based Littlefoot Coffee Roaster.

For your appetite you can find vegan-friendly cookies, muffins, scones, sticky buns, cheesecake, pie and beer bread—all made with ingredients from the Natural Health Center in Westwood Plaza. Milk options are aplenty, and non-milk options to cater to those who are lactose intolerant or nut-allergic. Homemade flavorings including lavender, vanilla, pumpkin & caramel, offer sweet notes to your coffee drinks.

No matter which local coffee shop you choose to visit, each one is unique in its own way. Each of these amazing locations offers something for everyone. I encourage you to visit them all to support your local community during these tough times. Let me know what your favorite coffee shop or coffee is and tag me at @thekalamazoofoodie! I would love to hear your feedback. It’s coffee season! Really, every day is a good time for coffee.

Let's Talk Turkey

liza@millerwebservices.com (Heather Dombos) — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:07 GMT

Just like everything else in 2020, Thanksgiving will look quite different from years past. This year’s Thanksgiving trend will be small, scaled-down meals cooked by many of us who have yet to tackle Turkey Day. Moxie Magazine has some simple tips to help you channel your inner professional "Chef-Hostess-Extraordinaire" this holiday season.

K.I.S.S. – “Keep it Simple Sweetie” by serving a limited menu and aim for five items.

Plan on 1 to 1 ½ pounds of turkey per guest.

Don’t forget that your turkey will take 3-4 days to thaw in the refrigerator , so plan accordingly. For Thursday turkey, the latest you want to pick up your bird is Monday.

If you are hosting a limited gathering, opt for turkey breast instead of a whole bird.

Make a schedule for your shopping and food prep. Remember that pies can easily be made on Wednesday to free up time and oven space on Thanksgiving morning.

Remember to plan for Wednesday night dinner and Thanksgiving day breakfast. Have quick and easy options for both of these meals. You don’t want to make any more work for yourself than necessary. Order a pizza (do it early as the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is BUSY) for dinner and grab some pastries from your favorite bakery to serve with coffee on Thanksgiving morning.

Pre-made dinner rolls, pie crusts, cranberry sauce & mashed potatoes (found in the refrigerator section of your supermarket) are simple, delicious, and take a lot of stress off of the “chef”.

Our most important tip – what is on the table is not nearly as important as who is around it. Take time to enjoy your day with the people who mean the most to you. If you aren’t able to be with your friends and family, make time for a Zoom or Skype call or just make sure to pick up the phone and share the love.

Why Self Care?

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 02:23:06 GMT

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”

- Buddha

Many women are naturally empathic. Some of us are especially so in this COVID climate, because we may bear witness to the intimate struggles of our friends, families, and co-workers while we offer our ears and our hearts to them. We may be overwhelmed by working from home, home-schooling our children, and trying to keep our hair from going grey. Amidst all of the unrest at home and in our world today, we owe the most compassion of all … to ourselves.

Caring for oneself is no longer seen as “selfish,” but as vital to our well-being. If caring for others comes easier than caring for yourself, then this article is for you. It is time to learn the practice of self-care . As a therapist, I help people from all walks of life learn how to practice self-care, as it is critical to our physical and mental health. It combats anxiety, depression and burnout, while increasing mood and life satisfaction. Below are some steps to get you on your way to feeling the self-love!

Step 1)

Learn your ABC’s: Awareness, Balance & Connection

Develop an awareness around your own needs, emotions, resources and your own limits! Engage in a balanced practice of work, play, caregiving, and being taken care of by others. Grow the connection to yourself, others and to something larger than all of us. Knowing your ABC’s can be the difference between burnout and fatigue, to flat-out flourishing in your life.

Step 2)

Don’t be afraid of the “B” word: Boundaries

Create realistic expectations based on healthy boundaries . In action, this means: Say no more than yes sometimes, and if guilt sets in, smash it like a Whac-A-Mole. Guilt and shame do not reside in "Self-Careville." Boundaries are not about pushing people away, but about putting yourself first. Setting a boundary with your family, a boss, a colleague or a friend is an act of self-care, and the only approval we truly need is from ourselves.

Step 3)

Design your plan, Stan!: A “Self-Care Plan”

This will be as unique as you are and should include a routine to refuel when you are low on fumes. For some it may be journaling, playing their favorite music, saying no to those who continuously ask a lot of you, guided meditation, yoga, a detox from social media, sticking positive post-it notes around your house, setting boundaries with a boss, eating healthy, having a good sleep routine or cuddling with your dog. Whatever you choose, it WILL have mood-boosting and self-esteem building benefits.

Some questions to consider when making your plan are: What are some things that comfort me? Who are my top three favorite people to spend time with? Who are my three least-favorite people to spend time with? What small steps can I make toward fulfilling all of my senses? What things had I dreamed of doing? What small steps can I make to inch toward reaching some of these dreams? These prompts will help you create a plan that gives you respite when you need it most.

Self-care is a practice, like many things worth doing, and by making yourself the lucky beneficiary, you are saying to yourself that you are worth it. Your self-care routine will breed hope, optimism, adventure, and peace of mind.

The Link Between Physical Activity, Pain, and Mental Health

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:55:50 GMT

October 6, 2020

There was a recent, beautiful late summer day in which I had decided to do a little yard work. For a few hours, there was lots of squatting & standing, digging and pulling. I knew by the end of my work I would pay the price later, and yet I continued. Of course, the next day I was sore, my back ached, and my fingers felt stiff and swollen.

Still, there is something about being outdoors, working in the yard or in the garden, or just going for a walk, that boosts my mood, even when I know I will be sore the next day.

Many of us who suffer from arthritis, fibromyalgia, or other chronic pain syndromes, wonder if we are actually doing more harm than good when it comes to moving. Often, our pain can flare up after intense exercise, forcing us to take the next few days or a week to slow down and recover, which hardly seems worth it. Our significant others and friends may even try to tell us

to take it easy, and not push ourselves too much, but as proven above, we sometimes (or often), don’t listen.

So, should I exercise if I have chronic pain? The answer is a resounding YES!

As difficult as it may seem to get moving when you are already feeling stiff & painful, inactivity is likely to worsen joint pain, increase stiffness, and decrease flexibility.

There is also good evidence that depression and anxiety are linked to physical pain. The same neurotransmitters used to regulate mood (serotonin and norepinephrine) are also used in pain pathways in the brain. If you have chronic pain, you are more likely to be depressed or anxious. One study showed that people with depression are three times more likely to develop chronic pain, while those with chronic pain, are 3-5 times more likely to develop psychiatric symptoms.

So, what’s the good news? Although lack of exercise can worsen our mental health and pain, regular exercise has the power to improve it! Exercise stimulates nerve cell growth in the hippocampus, the part of our brain that regulates mood. Often this region is smaller in those who are depressed. Exercise helps build it up, and therefore improves brain function, decreases pain, and helps with mood regulation. It doesn’t have to be intense aerobic exercise either; low-intensity exercise sustained over time is better.

TOP 5 REASONS EXERCISE IS KEY:

Stability: Exercise strengthens the muscles around your joints, making them more stable and help to take the pressure off the joints themselves.
Flexibility: Gentle stretching keeps muscles loose and less likely to cramp.
Improved sleep: A more active day helps us to feel more tired and sleep better at night.
Mental health boost: Aerobic exercise is just as effective as antidepressants in
many people, boosting our serotonin and norepinephrine naturally, and growing our hippocampus for better mood regulation.
Excuse to get outside: You can’t always exercise outdoors, but do it as often as you can. Even gardening has been found to have mental health benefits! Japanese physicians are known to write prescriptions for outdoor therapy. They call it, “Forest Bathing.”

EASE INTO IT

Simply, too intense of a workout, too soon, can cause pain to flare up. The important thing to remember is to start out easy, and slowly increase the duration and intensity. Even if this means starting out with a five minute walk, three times a week. Doing gentle yoga, riding stationary bikes, and swimming are often easier on the joints, for example.

Sometimes we need medication for depression or anxiety, injections, or even surgery for pain, but these are not the only treatment options.

So how about it? How can you start exercising to feel better? Get the family involved, set goals together. A brief walk every day may be the best place to start boosting your mood, lessening your pain, and in the end “add years to your life and life to your years.”

Mental Health After the Pandemic

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:55:48 GMT

October 6, 2020

Humans are not built to deal with a pandemic. Especially those who already suffer from higher levels of depression & anxiety. Hopefully, we are getting closer to returning to a new normal, but two things remain: the damage that took place during the isolation phases & the challenges that are resulting in having to step back out into the world.

Many mental health issues thrive in isolation and being disconnected from others. For example, people with eating disorders often use secrecy as an unhealthy coping skill.

Isolation may have given some people who are suffering “permission” to not go grocery shopping, only buying what’s available which could be a binge food, or not eating in front of other people for months.

People who are suffering from anxiety or depression are encouraged to have structure in their daily life or test out triggering environments — both of which have not been possible during this quarantine. While secrecy might be easy to come by, private may not. Even if a person can access their mental health provider, they may have family, a roommate, partner, or kids around making it challenging to focus and fully express themselves.

Now that many people are back to work, school, etc., it’s important to reestablish a new routine for yourself. It likely won’t look like what it did before the quarantine began, but we need to take time to find our new normal with our mental health needs at the forefront. Brush off your list of coping skills that worked before – are they still attainable?

What changes need to be made to keep them accessible to you? Are you talking yourself out of what might be best for you because of something that felt comfortable during the quarantine but now needs to be revisited?

Many of us are still in survival mode, and rightly so. It’s ok to still feel overwhelmed and stressed. There are still many unknowns and changes coming our way. And, it’s important not to get too stuck in one phase. We can do this by continuing to evaluate our needs and stay educated.

The CDC suggests keeping an eye out for these common signs of distress:

• Feelings of feelings of fear, anger, sadness, worry, numbness, or frustration

• Changes in appetite, energy, and activity levels

• Difficulty concentrating and making decisions

• Difficulty sleeping or nightmares

• Physical reactions, such as headaches, body pains, stomach problems, and skin rashes

• Worsening of chronic health problems

• Increased use of alcohol, tobacco, or other drugs

In addition to these physical signs, try to identify what your anxiety is related to. Are you feeling lonely and missing people? Are you bored because you cannot engage in normal activities? Are you overwhelmed with returning to work or school?

Being able to drill down to the specifics will help you better address how you’re feeling. You’ll be less likely to say everything is stressful right now, and more likely to say this one area of my life is the most stressful and I can do something about that.

Stay educated on the most up-to-date facts about the pandemic from reputable sources like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and World Health Organization. Limit your exposure to other media sources that may be creating more fear, worry, and anxiety. Reassure yourself that you are doing whatever you can to keep yourself and others safe according to these sites.

Re-emerge slowly and intentionally where and when you can, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Finally, so much feels out of our control at the moment. Try making a list of things that you have some control over. Sleep, quality time with immediate family, fresh air and sunshine, cooking a favorite meal,

journaling, taking your multivitamin every day. These don’t need to be new things that you’re adding in. Now is not the time to count on perfecting a brand new routine! Simply see if you can stick with the things you naturally do that bring you joy. That may be all it takes to keep a little extra fuel in your tank.

Defining & Setting Boundaries for a Successful Fall

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:55:45 GMT

October 10, 2020

"Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously in Charge" is the subtitle of the book, Boundaries for Leaders by Dr. Henry Cloud, and is still touted as an essential read for everyone who aspires to lead companies, teams and cultures that are defined by high performance and healthy relationships.

Published in 2013, Cloud’s book addresses a critical question for people in any organization or group: “With the many benefits that appropriate boundaries provide, WHY don’t we establish and maintain boundaries in our professional and personal lives?!”

WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES?

Cloud states, “A boundary is a structure that determines what will exist and what will not.” Boundaries are made up of two essential elements: what you create and what you allow. They can be defined as limits that people set — both physical and emotional in nature — creating order and a healthy sense of personal space.

So, boundaries show where something ends and another begins. Many types of boundaries exist: physical, emotional, personal, time and social. They come in the form of a state or property line, office space, defined procedures, calendar blocking, acceptable behavior … the list goes on.

PURPOSE OF BOUNDARIES

Boundaries establish limits to protect and guide us. Ultimately, boundaries put the control in your hands and put you in charge of your life. Although setting or having boundaries

in place may sound intimidating, the beauty is that when they are deliberately put in place and followed, they will guide you to success. Like traffic lanes, they keep you safe and on the right course. Appropriate boundaries help to ensure that your relationships grow and are healthy and that you’re protected from negative influence or manipulation by others.

Setting and consistently maintaining boundaries at work brings focus, with successes to follow. For example, here’s Cindy’s story about boundaries she put in place.

As a new coaching client at KDIC, Cindy came to us with the need to develop and grow her mindset and confidence in feeling, being and appearing put together and at the top of her game. She was stepping into a new leadership role in her career and needed to have everything in place to support her new endeavor. Her goal was to have a process that kept her organized and on top of new tasks, while presenting herself in a poised and confident manner.

Knowing the requirements of the role, her own personal limitations, and her short- and long- term goals, we put a plan in place. Boundaries began with an efficient layout of her office space, desk and workspace. Both hard copy and electronic collateral materials were laid out for easy access and friendly, efficient daily use. With supportive procedures and systems in place, next Cindy set guarded time aside in her schedule. This included an early morning planning time, before staff arrived for the workday, so she would be ready for her day and to lead her team. Also, a weekly strategic time block was set aside for projects, planning and thinking through the demands that would come with her new position.

With boundaries set and honored, Cindy’s sought-after poise and confidence was won! She now confidently leads her team, makes it to meeting with the correct folders and documents in hand, and closes the end of her workday knowing that everything is in place for her next day. She is also able to handle the inevitable “unexpecteds” with grace because she has a solid foundation to work from.

HOW TO EFFECTIVELY SET BOUNDARIES

To set effective boundaries for yourself, you might begin in much the same

manner as Cindy’s process did.

Decide what you’re trying to achieve or what adjustments you want to make.
Be honest with yourself. How do you operate? What are your strengths and limitations?
Consider your past. What has worked before and what hasn’t?
Seek support with a coach (or a trusted successful colleague/mentor) who can help you with the process.
Decide on a set of actions or steps that will support better boundaries. Then deliberately take the first step; it will guide you to the next.

How has setting boundaries affected you? What successful boundaries do you have working in your world? Are there others you should put in place that will help set you up for success this fall or in 2021?

A Story of Chasing Crazy: A Look at Heidi McCrary’s newly released novel, “Chasing North Star”

Fri, 23 Oct 2020 15:55:43 GMT

October 10, 2020

Nothing is more entertaining than a dysfunctional family. Someone once said, “No great writer ever had a normal childhood.” I don’t know if that’s true, but hiding in cars from a gun-toting mother dressed in a straitjacket does make for a great story.”

Perhaps this stokes thoughts of your own childhood experiences — something author Heidi McCrary frequently encounters when discussing her newly-released novel, “Chasing North Star.” Originally the novel, intended as a memoir, was inspired by conversations Heidi and her sister would have about their own childhood following book club discussions while reading “The Glass Castle: A Memoir,” by Jeanette Walls.

During these back and forths the two would exchange and explore more of the two’s childhood escapades with their three other siblings and wacky mother, all growing up in Alamo, Michigan. Heidi thought, “You know what? This was funny. We had an unbalanced childhood. Sometimes it was wonderful and funny, but part of it was very dark. I was the youngest of five and thank God my older siblings protected me. Our adventures were really colorful and worth writing about.”

The journey began in 2013. Heidi would spend time, while her husband worked as a ski instructor in the winter months, putting together her novel. She remembers that date as, “It was the first thing I wrote when I started writing, because I wanted to remember exactly when I started writing it.”

The few years journey it took to write the novel wasn’t so much the struggle, nor was sharing the story. Rather it was finding someone to publish it. The writing world is, at this time, especially saturated with writing from nearly everyone with a computer and the ability to speak. Heidi began her journey to publishing by looking for an agent, but no one was looking for a book like hers. Rather, there was indication agents were looking for more youthful books, or more like the next “Twilight” of novels.

Two years of trying to find an agent led Heidi to forgo the agent and explore self- publishing options in the form of hybrid publishing. The writer pays for the cost to produce the book up front. The publisher retains some of the profit, but the writer comes away with more of the profits than in just your typical publishing. A win on all fronts, and it also ensured her book was published and distributed. Her first discovery and attempt of finding a hybrid publisher landed her with She Writes Press.

In her editing process, Heidi would come to discover a tedious process of editing words via the “book of things you cannot say in your book” list that was shared with her. Words like “idiot” had to be changed. And her most painful thing to give up would be her original title, “Chasing Crazy,” due to the considered offensiveness of calling one “crazy.”

She had also shared the novel with her siblings, sparking frequent conversations that would at times fill in the holes to stories Heidi only could remember pieces of due to her young age (and her sibling’s incredible protectiveness). In some cases, they couldn’t remember parts either. Some would remark Heidi didn’t make their mother mean enough, but the intent was to make her a little human. Regardless, the enjoyable conversations brought on a further closeness in her family, and some resolve in sharing the chaos that was their childhood.

It is truly a well-written finished product of a beautifully amusing look at Heidi’s dysfunctional family over the course of 1970, and the extreme highs and lows of a childhood coursing along with her own mother’s bipolar highs and lows. All this while intertwining the coarse childhood her mother lived prior to a wonderful story of love and a promised better start in America.

Heidi’s story introduces readers to a near-real take on the stories of living with someone with a mental i llness, especially in an era where these are things not spoken of, which is insightfully and somewhat amusingly illustrated in spots of the story. At times, you may find yourself needing to set the book down reading through some of the disturbing scenes from her own life. But in other scenes you enjoy the amusing adventures of kids being just kids: like riding along with Heidi on her way to the neighbor’s house to drop off her mom’s cigarettes, so she can catch a spot of, “The Mary Tyler Moore,” show on their color television, loving the ability to see the real colors of Mary’s home.

Some stories may leave you feeling like you’re invading a truly personal story, but you are invited in to share in the delights of the Phillips children, while understanding the realness of their living situation and the true strength of character it provided them.

And that’s exactly how Heidi intended it to be.

“I do want people to realize, we all had f’ed up childhoods, and we all survived…for the most part. We came out alright on the other end. And that’s alright.”

Heidi’s novel, “Chasing North Star” was released last month with She Writes Press of California.You can find her novel in bookstores around the Kalamazoo area and retail stores. Follow Heidi at heidimccrary.net and fb.com/HeidiMcCraryAuthor And make sure to catch her on her upcoming book tour under the potential name of, “My childhood was more f*cked up than yours. Or was it?”

100 Years of Women's Right to Vote

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 17:24:13 GMT

October 6, 2020

Mott. Stanton. Truth. Anthony. Paul. Millholland. Shaw. Blatch. Rankin. Catt.

These names belong to ladies with some serious moxie—they are the last names of the women who led the charges of thousands & participated in 72 years worth of work for women rights, and of course, the right to vote.

They are: Lucretia Mott. Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Sojourner Truth. Susan B. Anthony. Alice Paul. Inez Millholland. Anna Howard Shaw. Harriet Stanton Blatch. Jeannette Pickering Rankin. Carrie Chapman Catt.

They were mothers of abolition, great women’s advocates and activists of their time. They may not have burned bras, but they marched across the country, enduring arrests, abuse, blatant discrimination, protests, and donated all of their precious time, to make it happen.

Mott and Stanton were the leading ladies, holding the first convention of this movement in 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York, where they would draft the Declaration of Sentiments, calling for multiple resolutions for women’s rights, including the right to simply be recognized as a person rather than a property, rights to her wages earned outside of the home, the right and ability to be educated, and of course, the right to vote. And with success, many of those liberties were granted, aside from the right to vote.

Mott (d. 1880) and Cady (d. 1902) would not live to see or enjoy the fruition of their work in gaining the right to vote, but the ladies above, even as some died later on, would participate and be hugely consequential in gaining grounds on women’s right to vote. Their fight gained us many things we take for granted today, including our education, and our paychecks, let alone our voting rights. It would result in the ratification of the 19th Amendment introduced in 1919, and the right to vote in 1920.

So, here we are celebrating 100 years of that beautiful right. A right that was certainly fought long and hard for, and we owe it to these ladies, ourselves, and especially our country to take part next month.

Think about this: According to the Pew Research Center, in 2016, only 63% of women who had the ability to vote, actually casted their vote, leaving 37% of the female population unaccounted for. And yes, one does need to consider the many factors that also play into those numbers. However, some of us just didn’t vote. And here, the objective is to encourage you to vote if you haven’t or were not planning on it. We need to do our part to make sure if you are part of that 37%, you use your ballot this year.

HOW TO GET STARTED?

Visit the Michigan Voter Information Center online.

Not yet registered to vote?

You can register there.

Already registered? Find out where you can vote, what to expect & for whom you can vote.

Want to know who you are voting for? Click on “What’s on the ballot?” and from there you can enter in your information to find out what to expect on your election ticket. Names sometimes have links of which you can find your official’s page and read up on what they are all about. Unfortunately, not all names will/can have links, but you can Google them fairly quickly.

Did you request an absentee ballot? Look up everyone on your ballot while you fill in your bubbles! I did it for the August election, and I’ll do it for November as well.

For more information, watch and read local news profiles on candidates prior to the election. In addition, we here at Moxie Magazine are including a few female candidate profiles in this month’s issue. We’re all doing our part to keep you informed, because there is only one thing worse than not voting at all, and that is voting uninformed.

Lucretia, Elizabeth, Susan, and the rest of the women’s movement leaders didn’t fight so that we could sit back and just let things happen. We don’t need to be activists or abolitionists to have a say in what goes on with our lives. There may be other causes on the frontier to fight that voting will not be the only means for change. But voting is one simple thing you can do to help our fight. You have a voice. You are encouraged to use it.

A New Way to Approach Work

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:52:29 GMT

September 10, 2020

If balancing work and life was hard before, it’s been even harder in 2020. Many of us are working from home mow, often with kids around. We try to find tiny pockets of time in the day to check email, send a quick text message, or return a phone call. It can feel like you’re working all day because in a sense you are. Our normal designated work time and personal time are incredibly blurred, and it’s taking a toll on us.

So how do we regain some balance between work and personal life? There’s no simple answer to this. We are all dealing with this in our own way, and everyday has its own unique challenges. That being said, there are some ways you may be able to recoup a little bit of your normal balance during these uncertain times.

The first thing to get really clear about is: WHAT IS WORK FOR YOU?

What feels like work for you? How do you know when you’re working? Is working the same thing as your job? Do you need to be getting paid to consider yourself working?

Going through these questions is especially helpful if you aren’t getting paid in the traditional sense for your work (i.e., stay at home parent). If we’re on the clock with a paid position, it can be easier to know or quantify when we’re working. However, what does work look and feel like for you when your role is to be with your children all day?

A good way to think about this may be to consider – is what I’m doing difficult, challenging, or does it have to get done? If your answer is yes, then those things might be considered work for you. Try making a list of what work is for you. The purpose of these questions will become clearer in a minute, when we consider the opposite – what does not working feel or look like?

Next consider, WHERE DO YOU WORK? Or even take it one step forward, where do you do your best work? Is it an office, the kitchen table, in the backyard, or at a coffee shop? If you can identify and designate places or spaces where you do work, you can more quickly check yourself when you find yourself trying to do work elsewhere (read: getting lunch ready for your kids while music is playing and trying to read an email on your phone!)

I’m 100% guilty of this, and honestly it’s sometimes completely necessary. The point is that when I can feel myself getting frustrated that I can’t respond to an email during that time, I can have a little more compassion for myself about why it’s so challenging - I’m not in my work space so this is going to be harder.

Now that you know what work is for you and where you do it, WHAT IS NOT WORK FOR YOU? Make a list of the things that don’t feel like work. These might be hobbies or even things around the house. Both your list of work and not work are completely unique to you. Making dinner may feel like a lot of work to one person, but to another it’s an enjoyable, relaxing experience. Having a work lunch with a colleague over Zoom also might not feel like work even though you’re getting paid for it.

You have to make the distinction for yourself so you can begin to turn work mode on or off accordingly. There’s a very different way to look at your day and organize it when you’re working and when you’re not.

Lastly, consider where you can set boundaries and ask for help to establish this balance. Do you work best in the morning or at night? If you need time to relax and wind down at night, then perhaps your boundary is I don’t do work after 9pm. Your partner can help you with this by reminding you if they see you working after 9pm or offering to help with the morning routine so you have an hour to do work in the morning.

If you are primarily with your kids, try to balance activities with them that don’t feel like work. For example, taking your kids for a hike might be enjoyable and relaxing for you (not work), while an art project might feel exhausting and hard. Spread these out throughout your day or week so you’re less likely to feel so burned out. It’s not selfish to do some of the things you enjoy with your kids- it’s self preservation! And if they see that you’re enjoying it, there’s a really good chance they will like it too.

Talk to your support system, partner, older kids, grandmother, to see what does and doesn’t feel like work to them. Instead of assuming or getting stuck with a task that you consider work (making dinner), you may find the other person would enjoy doing that and you can do something else that doesn’t feel like work (play a game with the kids).

Discuss, negotiate, and delegate and you might find the perfect balance for your work and personal life even in the midst of a pandemic.

Dress Strategies for Comfort, Style, and Success

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:52:28 GMT

September 10, 2020

With professional dress trends becoming less formal, I’ve had more than one client seeking help to dress comfortably & have a personal style, while keeping their look professional and geared for success.

When I met Jan, a client that came to me in the early days of my business, she was beyond ready to be comfortable in her dress needs. Having returned to Kalamazoo to open her own company, she had just left the corporate world of required structured suits, heels, and the ‘all forbidden’ pair of pantyhose. She was ready to establish a style that worked for her in a relaxed and comfortable look, with the occasional need to step up her dress for a corporate meeting.

Jan was in a place that many professional women may find themselves today – with most days requiring a smart-casual to a business-casual look, and the occasional need to dress things up. Many professional women in management and leadership roles (or aspiring to them), the need to meet and grow trusted relationships, walk confidently into a boardroom or successfully manage those on their team, require dialing in and growing a confident professional style.

When working with Jan, services began as all of our style services do: by learning specifics about HER…a color analysis (yes, having your “colors done” still applies today!), a personal style assessment, and a closet audit consultation were completed. We salvaged some of her basic pieces, added a few new key garments and then showed her how to punch up/personalize her look with scarves and interesting jewelry.

Next, we looked at her appearance needs specific for growing and selecting garments for her new professional dressing needs.

Here are some of KDI Consulting’s top tips that helped Jan, and can help you too when dressing for comfort, style and success:

Know and understand who you’re going to be working with, where, when and why — also what you want to achieve.
Determine what types of dress are appropriate for you professionally. (E.g., What is your corporate culture? What stage are you at
in your career? How do you want to be perceived by others?)
Be true to yourself. Take the time to think about and understand your style traits, best colors, preferences and what clothes you actually feel most comfortable in.
Grow clusters of garments that work together, beginning with two or three core colors (e.g., navy, grey, brown/taupe or black) that can serve as a foundation to build from.
Decide how you’d like to finish your look: shoes, grooming, makeup, jewelry and other accessories.

Dressing for comfort might take only a few simple wardrobe tweaks or it might be your time for a big transformation. Whichever it may be, know that even big change doesn’t need to be expensive. Be strategic about it, know that change is good and consider enlisting the help of a professional. Jan will tell you she is glad that she took the time to discover a strategy to dressing well and hasn’t worn pantyhose since!

Fostering Teen Dreams

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:52:26 GMT

September 10, 2020

YOU can raise hope and foster dreams by becoming a foster parent to a teen.

Michigan has approximately 3,000 teens in foster care at any given time. Many of these individuals will leave foster care without a family, leaving them with no one to call for help, advice, or guidance. As of July 2020, Kalamazoo county alone has 115 teens in care ages 14-21. We need foster families here and around the state to show these individuals unconditional love and support as well as help guide them into the next chapters of their lives.

Foster care teens come from many backgrounds and need a positive adult role model to help guide through the transitions of life. They need to feel the joy of knowing a respected adult cares for them and understands their feelings and emotions.

There are many programs to help our foster teens move through childhood and into young adult life. Youth in Transition provides funding for services and resources for youth transitioning out of foster care.

These funds are intended to help youth become successful adults. Youth in Transition funds can be used for things like education, employment, or health.

Michigan Youth Opportunities Initiative is a program that focuses on financial literacy and youth advocacy. The program provides training on money management, and skills that help foster youth become successful adults. Local youth boards serve as a support network and are a way to share teens’ voices and thoughts on making the child welfare system better.

The Young Adult Voluntary Foster Care Program provides continued support for youth until age 21.

Extending foster care to age 21 offers a safety net of supportive services and financial benefits during critical transition to adulthood including extension of foster care payments, continued oversight by a case worker for additional support, counseling services, continued health care coverage, training in independent living skills, more time to finish high school and pursue vocational or secondary education.

A Michigan foster youth needs your unconditional love and support. If you are considering becoming a foster parent or have any questions, call a Foster Care Navigator at 855-MICHKIDS.

YOU CAN ALSO LEARN MORE ON OUR WEBSITE:

www.michigan.gov/hopeforahome

Just to Be: Do You Know How to Do Nothing?

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:52:24 GMT

September 10, 2020

When was the last time you did nothing? Or did something with simply no agenda? Nothing necessarily to be gained but pure enjoyment?

The last several months have afforded some individuals time to embark on this journey. There has been more time than conceivable to really do just that: nothing. But perhaps you have felt it too. A steady guilt creeping in, warning you of your lack of doing or accomplishing. How dare we sit and binge a season of the newly released “Friends” on HBO Max and do nothing else!?

On the other side, there are many of you piled with extra responsibilities; caring for more than your share because school or daycare is closed, or work has ramped up because of the time at home (funny how that worked out).

With less time to accomplish all your new responsibilities, your personal time is now in the negative. Your workout or morning coffee might be the closest you have to down- or “me” time, let alone, pleasure.

No matter the degree of responsibility, there is an overwhelming set precedence of not allowing oneself to truly enjoy things without an agenda behind the action. To read because you like to read. To go for a walk just to be outside and experience the beautiful weather bestowed on us in Michigan this season.

I was in search of guides in calming my nerves stemming from anxiety of unemployment and guilt laying a foundation stating I was not doing enough. In that search, I came across the quite literally titled book, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell.

Odell turns to philosophers to share lessons in how to exist in a more aware and delighted fashion. To take in moments beyond the constant notifications and needs the world demands of us. The problem is one cannot live only like this. Obviously, there are points where some responsibilities, like eating, are intrinsic to survival.

In many of her referred cases, she appears to continually reinforce the idea of being in the moment. How many things do we miss when we’re focused on the laundry list of things we need to attend to constantly? When we left the office today, that was supposed to be the “turning off” point. But many of us can’t even do that anymore. We constantly have our attention grabbed by notifications on our phones and laptops of work emails that need attending to. Or someone just posted something on Facebook (maybe not even on your wall, they just shared something in general). And everything needs a purpose in doing it. Now with the pandemic and many working from home, how do you separate that life?

Here’s a fun question. When was the last time you watched something on TV (whether streaming, television, film, etc.), and didn’t look at your phone once? What are you missing by staring at the screen and not watching the film? You’re now doing something else, because that has “purpose”—you still feel like you’re accomplishing something rather than taking in the storied media.

The Italians have a word, asolare , which means “to spend time in a delightful, but meaningless manner.” Oddly enough, the country known for its large, multiple course meals and mid- day closing hours to have supper with their families, lay claim to the unique word… it’s not something found translatable in other languages. And understandably, because in many cultures, if you’re not doing something, your worth is, well…less.

Think back to your day today. What did you do? And what was the purpose of said thing(s)? Did you work out? Eat breakfast? Go for a walk? Read? Run errands?

Continue through that list. Does every item on the agenda have a reason? Is there anything that didn’t? And if not, when was the last thing you did “just because?” Find some time for asolare .

Get out there and do nothing!

Upleveling Your Self-Care Routine: It’s Paramount During the Pandemic

Thu, 22 Oct 2020 16:52:22 GMT

September 10, 2020

First, please pause and take a deep breath.

Aaaaahhh.....

Good. Now we know there is and has been a lot of fear and anxiety circulating in our community. Our intention is for you to stay grounded. Make solid decisions that are rooted in science, so that you can make good choices for you and your family, especially as we move into the school season.

Back to the Basics

Coronavirus is similar to influenza and spreads through respiratory droplets when coughing and sneezing or rubbing your nose, eyes or mouth. Good hand- washing and hygiene can significantly decrease risk of transmission. Coronavirus is easily inactivated with standard soaps and disinfectants. (More info here). Wash your hands often with soap and water, or using hand sanitizer if soap and water are unavailable. Please remember to cleanse hands after using the bathroom, after blowing your nose or coughing, and before eating. And remember to cover your cough and sneeze with a tissue, or into your elbow if you don’t have a tissue.

Due to the increase of domestic cases, if you think that you have been exposed and have a fever with cough or shortness of breath, please isolate yourself from healthy persons, start self-care listed below and contact your provider immediately. Like most viruses, coronavirus can last up to 14 days. The first 7 days are usually the worst and being that it is a virus, antibiotics do not work. Below are some key recommendations for daily self- care that are paramount in illness prevention as we move into Autumn.

Recommendations for Illness Prevention & Prep

•Focus on SELF-CARE as much as possible. Your body’s immune system needs rest, quality sleep, good nutrition, gentle exercise, and stress management to function at its peak. These are our everyday recommendations. However, right now it is imperative to slow down and take good care of yourself and your children.

•Please make sure to have about 2 weeks of basic provisions at home if you fall ill and need to stay home to rest. This means having some basic food staples in your kitchen (soup, tea, crackers, veggies, eggs, etc.), pet supplies, some basic over the counter cold medicines, and tissues.

•Saltwater gargles and neti pots can break up mucus and soothe sore throats. Mix 1 tsp salt in 8 oz of warm water & use 3-5 times daily.

•Bone broth or veggie broth can bolster up your blood pressure and support the body’s increased need for fluids and electrolytes. Collagen is one of the building blocks of cellular repair & helps to feed the gut microbiome. Vegetable fibers also feed the microbiome and have some antibacterial/antiviral effects. Herbs like oregano & turmeric have antiviral/ antibacterial effects too.

•Raw honey is a natural cough suppressant and has antiviral/antibacterial effects. Dosage is .5-1 tsp every 8 hours. Do not give honey to kids under 1 year of age.

•Elderberry syrup is an excellent antiviral and is currently in season here in Michigan! A daily dosage is 1 tsp every 8 hours when ill. It can be found at the farmers market as well as most health food stores and pharmacies.

Feeling Sick? Additional Information for Symptom Relief

•Sleep and rest are paramount to a speedy recovery. Please listen to your body, rest as much as you can and avoid exposing your family and co-workers. STAY HOME! If need be,your PCP can provide your work and/or school documentation for your absence.

•We typically recommend Vicks chest rub, Flonase or Nasocort for nasal congestion, Robitussin or Mucinex for cough. Avoid oral decongestants if you have high blood pressure or a heart condition. Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen can be helpful for fever and body aches. As always, your provider can help you decide which over the counter medicine would work best for you given your medical history.

•If you have symptoms more than 7 days that localize to one side of your face or one ear and the fever comes back, you may have developed a secondary bacterial infection that would benefit from antibiotics. In that case, please contact your provider for a video visit.

•If you are having severe coughing that disrupts your sleep despite use of over the counter medications, please contact your provider for a virtual visit. Again, they can also provide documentation for time off work to fully recover.

•If you experience severe shortness of breath or profound weakness where you cannot care for yourself, this may require hospitalization. Please contact your provider if you need help in deciding the level of care that you need.

Please continue to up level your self-care routine, take deep breaths and keep steady as we move through this pandemic, together.

Comfort Foods for Fall

Wed, 30 Sep 2020 20:02:11 GMT

September 10, 2020

Hamburger Pie

2 pounds ground beef, browned and drained

1 (29 oz) can tomato sauce

2 (14.5 oz) cans green beans, drained

6 cups mashed potatoes

8 oz sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a large skillet, combine ground beef, tomato sauce, and green beans.

Heat over medium heat until mixture begins to bubble.

Pour ground beef mixture into a 9” x 13” baking pan.

Top beef mixture with mashed potatoes.

Top mashed potatoes with shredded cheese.

Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Crockpot Cream Cheese Chicken

4 large chicken breasts

1 (8 oz) block cream cheese

2 (1 oz) packets ranch dressing mix

1 (8 oz) package sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Place chicken breasts in the crockpot.

Top with cream cheese, ranch packets, and shredded cheese.

Cook on low heat for 8 hours or high heat for 4 hours.

Shred chicken and stir well to combine with sauce.

Serve on top of steamed broccoli, cooked rice, or serve as sandwiches on buns.

Chicken Pot Pie

4 cups cooked chicken, shredded

1 (32 oz) bag frozen mixed vegetables

2 (10.75 oz) cans condensed cheddar cheese soup

1 (8 oz) container sour cream

¼ cup milk

4 sheets frozen puff pastry 1/3 cup butter, melted

Thaw puff pastry sheets for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large soup pot, over medium heat, combine chicken, vegetables, cheddar cheese soup, sour cream, and milk. Stir well to combine all ingredients and continue heating over medium heat for 10 minutes.

Pour chicken mixture into a 9” x 13” baking dish and set aside.

Cut the puff pastry into 8” strips.

Weave the puff pastry strips together on top of the chicken mixture and lightly brush on melted butter.

Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes, or until the pastry is golden brown.

Granny Cake

Cake:

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 cups all-purpose flour

1teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs

1 (20 oz.) can crushed pineapples, with juice

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup pecans, chopped

Icing:

1 cup evaporated milk

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly grease a 9” ×13” baking dish with butter or non-stick spray.

In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, flour, baking soda and salt, then mix in eggs and pineapple.

Pour batter into pan and top with an even layer of pecans and brown sugar.

Place baking dish in oven and bake for 40-45 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.

While cake cooks, combine evaporated milk, sugar, and butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat and bring to a boil.

Remove from heat and stir in vanilla extract, then pour over hot cake.

Let cake cool so it absorbs icing, then slice, serve and enjoy. Take it up a notch with a big scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Are You Wearing the Right Sports Bra?

Wed, 16 Sep 2020 20:02:11 GMT

September 10, 2020

As I have recently discovered one of the most important pieces of “gear” you can purchase when starting a fitness journey is a quality sports bra that is made for your body and activity level. Once you find a bra that is comfortable and provides adequate support you will be much more likely to crush your fitness goals. Here are my tips for picking the best bra for you.

Measure

Most companies have unique sizes and sizing guidelines. No matter how well you think you know your size, follow the bra fit instructions provided by the company’s website. My favorite sports bra comes in sizes like 2LUXE, so knowing your band and cup size won’t be much help in selecting the perfect fit. Get your handy measuring tape and follow the instructions. It will take a few extra minutes out of your day, but you will be glad you took the time to complete this step.

Know Your Impact Level

Are you a runner? Is walking at a brisk pace more your style? Do you participate in HIIT classes? Obviously running requires a greater level of support than walking. HITT classes move your body in much different ways than a yoga or Pilates class. If you don’t want a bra for every different activity, select the most strenuous activity you do and select a bra support level that matches that activity. I tend to buy high impact support because I know it will cover any activity I choose.

Pay Attention to Small Details

Here is an embarrassing tidbit, I can’t stand to pull sports bras off over my head. It gives me a feeling of claustrophobia and causes a mini panic attack. Knowing this quirk about myself, I only buy sports bras with traditional bra closures or zippers. It is important to know these small things about yourself and make those a part of your purchasing decision.

Have a Back-up

A sports bra is really a one (wear) and done garment. After an intense, sweaty workout, you don’t want to hang your bra up to air dry. Make sure you have a few sports bras so you can launder them after each use.

Express Yourself

While I love a basic black sports bra, gone are the days of the limited white, black and tan selection. Now you can find a great sports bra in just about any color or

pattern that you can imagine. The better you feel in your workout gear, the more motivated you will be. Have fun with it!

My Picks

After much trial and error, I have found two bras that are perfect and excitingly, one is actually made by a Michigan company. My first choice is the Ultimate Sports Bra by SheFit (located in Hudsonville, MI) and you can browse their selection at www.shefit.com. My runner-up is the Nike Rival which you can find online at www.nike.com.

Now, gear up & get out there!

moxiegroup

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