Whenever I think of November, I think of trees changing colors, crisp autumn breezes, cozy sweaters, hot drinks…and gratitude — giving thanks for the blessings of the season at tables laden with food and surrounded by their family in celebration of Thanksgiving.

However, for many this season will be very different. Some families are choosing not to gather to protect vulnerable members from COVID. Empty chairs around the dinner table honor loved ones lost to COVID, suicide, overdose and many other misfortunes. Many families have suffered significant financial losses — facing the terror of unemployment, unpaid bills and eviction. Political discord escalates, leaving many feeling disgusted and overwhelmed. 

In the face of such darkness, how can we be grateful?

Learning to embrace a gratitude practice is not about denying the reality of human pain and suffering. It’s about learning how to sit with what is scary and uncomfortable, and choosing to rise. Once we explore the shadow aspects of being human, we discover that we can transcend the limitations of the Ego. 

The Ego is the part of consciousness that drives physical survival. It is fear-based, selfish, competitive and ridden with anxiety, rooted in scarcity and lack — this belief that there is never enough. When the body feels fear and pain, it is only natural that the Ego reacts with urgency and desperation. The Ego craves SAFETY, and much of 2020 has been anything but. 

Through awareness, we can learn to identify the Ego and choose to soften into love and compassion, and making a conscious decision to choose LOVE and GRATITUDE. It is a practice, and it is never perfect. Remember, perfection does not exist. Some days are easier than others. 

By validating this experience, we can choose to soften into self-compassion. As we learn to create the space we need, we can tend to the needs of our being, soothing the Ego and awakening out of the nightmarish, dystopian life experience. Healing happens: First with the self, then with our communities.

As we learn to see our community’s loss, fear and grief, hearts open to kindness, gentleness and appreciation. Times of tragedy and massive change remind us of the fragility of life and how precious each person truly is. We awaken out of the slumber of the mundane and start cherishing every moment we are given. 

Look around, there is always something or someone to appreciate: the beauty of nature, your favorite song, a deep and cleansing breath, a new day to try again, a random act of kindness .... You can choose who you want to be in each experience. 

With practice, you can further choose to create space and ask, “What would Love do?” You will know it’s Love because Love heals. Love is a resonant frequency that is universally recognized. It dissolves fear while inspiring courage, strength and wisdom. Love serves the Highest Good, and there is always enough — enough to quiet the Ego with its safety. 



And for that, I am so very grateful.