“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

- Marilyn Monroe

Have you ever felt you were living your life and your purpose at one moment in time? In my experience it appears the easier the journey, the more quickly we realize that we are exactly where we should be.

Arriving at that place of peace and acceptance, is it difficult? Of course. Is it satisfying? Yes. Growth is painful. It is the all-encompassing unknown territory, the uncertainty, excitement, fear and the loss of control (or really the illusion of it). We can only begin to realize the value of getting into the flow of life the more we fall into it and resist resisting. You will never know how prepared you will be for life’s “suddenly” until you find yourself in the middle of one.

Life can sometimes resemble that card game 52 Pickup. When the cards fall, they always fall suddenly, unexpectedly, and in an unpredictable way. There is a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe that sums up life and life’s lessons: “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

We travel through our lives with a plan but plans get disrupted, evolve or change. 2020 taught us the art of the pivot, but even a pivot involves some blind faith.

June 19th, 2020 was a Thursday. Sunny skies. 80-degree temperatures. And after living through a year of chronic debilitating pain at the age of 93, my mother finally arrived at the hospital for her complete hip replacement surgery. I was told by the doctor a typical patient is allowed to drive 4-6 weeks after surgery, but there was never anything typical about Mom.

That week I stayed with her at her home and we experienced some challenging times. Her goal was to drive again as soon as possible and on the ninth day following her surgery, she was feeling particularly discouraged. She called me into the garage to show me how quickly she could move her foot from the gas pedal to the brake. I smiled because looking at her behind the wheel sort of reminded me of myself when I was a kid, when my parents gave me their old car. I was the eager wanna-be senior sitting behind the wheel, dreaming of driving across the country.

I agreed with her that her new bionic right hip and leg was strong enough to drive. I asked if she wanted to go for a test drive around her senior living community. “Do you trust me?” she said.

“Of course I trust you, I watched your feet, your coordination, the strength in your leg you can do it.”

I sat down in the passenger seat, fastened my seatbelt and just like Thelma and Louise, off we went. It was just what she needed to boost her confidence, and reminded me of the little things she would do in my youth to help boost my confidence. Five days later, the doctor gave her the green light and lifted her driving restrictions.

Driving to mom represented independence, freedom, and what she’s been doing since my dad taught her to drive when she was 22. Her doctor said to her, “Charlotte you are a remarkable woman.” If you know her, you already knew that.

Fast forward five months, mom fell fracturing her pelvis and right elbow, all because she was trying to make her ornamental grass perfectly even in the front of her home. Helping her rehab at home is different this time. It is more intense. This experience is one of patience, trust, compromise, forgiveness and respect.

Where you are right now may not be where you planned to be, but it is where you are at this moment in time. As a little girl whenever I was experiencing a particularly challenging time my mother would say to me, “Everything is temporary. The good times are temporary. The bad times are temporary. Things will change and get better.” Somehow, they always did.

This time around, while she is convalescing in her wheelchair and unable to make things perfect with her own special touch, I am happy to try and do for her what she cannot do for herself. She is picky. Her sheets and quilt are marked with a tiny dot each so they can be draped and centered perfectly on her bed. She says she feels bad waking me up at 2:00 a.m. for assistance, but I cannot count the number of times I called her that early in the morning for her assistance, most of the time in tears over a boyfriend. She lovingly listened even though she had to work in the morning.

So, my gift of time right now is mine to give back. There are times we choose to step off the hamster wheel and other times we are pushed. I feel as if I were made for this moment.

It is a new year that will be filled with unexpected changes and challenges, so wherever you find yourself, breathe in deeply, and stay in the present moment. Remember everything is temporary. I wish you peace wherever you are in 2021.

Kim Carson

Kim is an Author/Podcast/TV/Internet personality. Watch and listen for her on WGVU TV’s Kalamazoo Lively Arts and J. Schwanke’s Life In Bloom. Learn more at kimcarson.online and fb.com/kimcarson