You said yes. And you had either already started, or it is finally time to plan your big day. But you, as an upcoming bride, are faced with something not many brides of generations past have had to consider during planning: a deadly pandemic. Even if planned for later 2021, there is a chance your wedding will look so much more different than it would if things were pre-2020. How do you plan for that? How do you protect yourself from losing money on deposits, or even keep your family and friends safe, and not become one of the many headline-making “superspreader” weddings?

Keeping you couples in mind, I spent some time talking to two couples in the greater Kalamazoo area who navigated the first year of pandemic waters to put together a beautiful, and safe wedding day, to share with you as you determine what you will do for your own wedding this year.

Advice from Brides Who Planned a Wedding During the Pandemic

Jessica and Juli went through the wringer to get their special days together and have some fantastic advice for you as you go ahead and plan your own wedding.

Pay attention to contracts

Jessica says you have to pay attention to that stuff and make sure the verbiage is appropriate. She had dropped a vendor because of the wording on his contract when they were planning the second wedding. They had wanted to upgrade their chair coverings since less people were attending, and it had stated the vendor was able to decide whether you postponed or not. Not impressed, they went with someone else. With everything going on, it’s important to know where your vendors stand on rescheduling or adjustments, and how they’ll handle things in case pandemic precautions are still necessary.

Remember the human aspect of the business

Juli had worked a few years in the wedding business, so when it came time to plan hers and swap gears with the pandemic, she went in understanding the people she would be working with. She stressed the importance of remembering you are working with people. Some are just there to do their job, not make your planning more difficult. And you’ll be surprised at how many will pull through for you, much like in her case.

Jessica & Ryan McRae

May 16, 2020 was the day.

300 guests were invited, 200 had already RSVP’d. The wedding was just about ninety percent paid off, and the favors, cake cutter, glasses and multiple other items were permanently etched or printed with the date.

As March of last year pressed on and Michigan headed into the first true shutdown, Jessica realized things might not get better in time for their day. A huge pivot was needed.

Just simply eloping wasn’t an option. Again, everything about paid for, and things permanently etched, they wanted to continue with the day. It would just look, a lot different.

With less than two months before the original big day though, things had to be adjusted, and quickly. Jessica, having already done most of the planning for her original date, had hired Heather Burrell as her “second-wedding” planner (and saving grace) to iron out the logistics of getting to a second date and

changing what they could about the wedding to ensure a celebration, but intimate and safe.

And the issues began to arise. Letting the 200 people who had RSVP’d that the plan was changing. Their original wedding date would happen, but smaller. A new date was planned for another ceremony and reception on September 5th, to hopefully have those original guests attend. As the lockdowns and restrictions continued, they would find out her husband Ryan’s family, who were mostly in Canada, wouldn’t even be able to cross the border to attend the new date. And their original photographer was stuck in the thick of things in New York, so they had to find another one, and quickly. To top it all, the RSVPs they sent out for the new date … well, over half of those were lost in the mail.

Lots of phone calls and messages came through to get things done, and not only that, but they would have to cut more people from the guests as well. Ryan’s family not being able to come ended up working out for the guest list, even though it was a less than ideal situation. And by September, with fear still high about the virus, many who RSVP’d did not attend because they were simply afraid.

The days would pull together though. On May 16, 2020, outside their church with their parents around them (except her father who was in the hospital with non-COVID-related things), Jessica and Ryan would “elope” or rather were married by their family pastor. On September 5, 2020, the couple would hold their second ceremony and reception, outdoors at a beautiful horse stable with 70 of their originally 300 invited guests.

The day(s) were beautiful. Sure, they were absolutely different from what was planned, but they still turned out perfect for the two of them.

“It was worth it. It was unfortunate circumstances, but you gotta look at the glass half full. Gotta be positive. Gotta look forward to the good things. It was a blast.”

Juli & Alex Milnikel

Juli & Alex’s date was July 11, 2020.

Similar to Jessica’s story, Juli found herself trying to figure out what they would do with their July wedding after Michigan’s first lockdown. Planning started with the venue, calling to find out exactly what they could do. The venue wanted things to proceed as normal, and would not allow the Milnikel wedding to reduce their 150-guest minimum. Juli cancelled the contract, losing their entire deposit. And did what she says she does best, “Ready … Adapt!”

With the help of her mom, they went to work getting things changed and figured out. The reception was changed to be held at Tosi’s in Stevensville—originally their rehearsal dinner space, but as they explained their situation to the restaurant, Tosi’s was happy to work with Juli to have the reception there instead. Their rehearsal dinner venue changed over to their church where they would be married, with a local caterer, making things just a little more simple.

Another unfortunate hiccup was Juli’s dress. She had actually worked in the wedding business, bridal sales specifically at one point, and did what she claimed is “the number one sin.” When she had looked at dresses, she was between sizes, and decided to size down with aiming to slim down a little more before their big day. However, the shutdown had closed all the gyms, and the overwhelming stress we can all relate to during the pandemic, with that of replanning a wedding, she was forced to have major work done on her dress so it would fit.

Juli remarks there were a lot of tears and some meltdowns along the way. Sometimes she would feel so selfish for not cancelling or postponing the wedding. “At the end of the day, we did what we thought was right for us and did everything we could to keep those around us safe and also provide an escape from what was going on.”

The Milnikels still married on July 11, 2020. “It was a beautiful day,” Juli said. “It may not

have been the day we originally planned, but it was exactly what God had planned for us.”

Her smaller wedding was a “blessing in disguise” to her as well. Not having the big wedding she thought she wanted or needed ended up being the absolute dream. She had time to visit all her guests, and actually relax and enjoy the reception. She certainly missed not having all of her loved ones there, but the day was still enjoyable.



Juli notes, “Throughout the entire process, I was told it is the marriage that was important and I feel that having to make the wedding smaller, we were forced to take a step back and focus on what we really wanted the day to be. It may not be the wedding you dreamed of since you were little, but that is okay. You are marrying someone who loves you, regardless of every wedding detail you’re stressing over being perfect. Take a breath, know it’s okay to cry and be disappointed and to feel those things. Just don’t dwell on it. Your day will be exactly how it needs to be.”